Friday, September 7, 2007
High kicks are coming to South Florida
Radio city Music Hall Rockettes are coming to The Broward Center in November. Get all the details.
8 Foods you should eat every day
Try to get this in your daily diet
By Ben Hewitt, Best Life
Best Life
1. Spinach
Sexual enhancement, Muscle growth, Heart healthy, Bone builder, Enhances eyesight
It may be green and leafy, but spinach is also the ultimate man food. This noted biceps builder is a rich source of plant-based omega-3s and folate, which help reduce the risk of heart disease, stroke, and osteoporosis. And spinach is packed with lutein, a compound that fights age-related macular degeneration. Aim for 1 cup fresh spinach or 1/2 cup cooked per day.
SUBSTITUTES: Kale, bok choy, romaine lettuce
FIT IT IN: Make your salads with spinach; add spinach to scrambled eggs; drape it over pizza; mix it with marinara sauce and then microwave for an instant dip.
PINCH HITTER: Sesame Stir-Braised Kale Heat 4 cloves minced garlic, 1 Tbsp. minced fresh ginger, and 1 tsp. sesame oil in a skillet. Add 2 Tbsp. water and 1 bunch kale (stemmed and chopped). Cover and cook for 3 minutes. Drain. Add 1 tsp. soy sauce and 1 Tbsp. sesame seeds.
2. Yogurt
Cancer fighter, Bone builder, Boosts immunity
Various cultures claim yogurt as their own creation, but the 2,000-year-old food's health benefits are not disputed: Fermentation spawns hundreds of millions of probiotic organisms that serve as reinforcements to the battalions of beneficial bacteria in your body, which boost the immune system and provide protection against cancer. Not all yogurts are probiotic though, so make sure the label says "live and active cultures." Aim for 1 cup of the calcium and protein-rich goop a day.
SUBSTITUTES: Kefir, soy yogurt
FIT IT IN: Yogurt topped with blueberries, walnuts, flaxseed, and honey is the ultimate breakfast — or dessert. Plain low-fat yogurt is also a perfect base for creamy salad dressings and dips.
HOME RUN: Power Smoothie Blend 1 cup low-fat yogurt, 1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries, 1 cup carrot juice, and 1 cup fresh baby spinach for a nutrient-rich blast.
3. Tomatoes
Cancer fighter, Heart healthy, Boosts immunity
There are two things you need to know about tomatoes: Red are the best, because they're packed with more of the antioxidant lycopene, and processed tomatoes are just as potent as fresh ones, because it's easier for the body to absorb the lycopene. Studies show that a diet rich in lycopene can decrease your risk of bladder, lung, prostate, skin, and stomach cancers, as well as reduce the risk of coronary artery disease. Aim for 22 mg of lycopene a day, which is about eight red cherry tomatoes or a glass of tomato juice.
SUBSTITUTES: Red watermelon, pink grapefruit, Japanese persimmon, papaya, guava
FIT IT IN: Pile on the ketchup and Ragu; guzzle low-sodium V8 and gazpacho; double the amount of tomato paste called for in a recipe.
PINCH HITTER: Red and Pink Fruit Bowl Chop 1 small watermelon, 2 grapefruits, 3 persimmons, 1 papaya, and 4 guavas. Garnish with mint.
4. Carrots
Cancer fighter, Boosts immunity, Enhances eyesight
Most red, yellow, or orange vegetables and fruits are spiked with carotenoids — fat-soluble compounds that are associated with a reduction in a wide range of cancers, as well as reduced risk and severity of inflammatory conditions such as asthma and rheumatoid arthritis — but none are as easy to prepare, or have as low a caloric density, as carrots. Aim for 1/2 cup a day.
SUBSTITUTES: Sweet potato, pumpkin, butternut squash, yellow bell pepper, mango
FIT IT IN: Raw baby carrots, sliced raw yellow pepper, butternut squash soup, baked sweet potato, pumpkin pie, mango sorbet, carrot cake
PINCH HITTER: Baked Sweet Potato Fries Scrub and dry 2 sweet potatoes. Cut each into 8 slices, and then toss with olive oil and paprika. Spread on a baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes at 350°F. Turn and bake for 10 minutes more.
5. Blueberries
Brain stimulant, Cancer fighter, Heart healthy, Boosts immunity
Host to more antioxidants than any other popular fruit, blueberries help prevent cancer, diabetes, and age-related memory changes (hence the nickname "brain berry"). Studies show that blueberries, which are rich in fiber and vitamins A and C, boost cardiovascular health. Aim for 1 cup fresh blueberries a day, or 1/2 cup frozen or dried.
SUBSTITUTES: Açai berries, purple grapes, prunes, raisins, strawberries
FIT IT IN: Blueberries maintain most of their power in dried, frozen, or jam form.
PINCH HITTER: Açai, an Amazonian berry, has even more antioxidants than the blueberry. Mix 2 Tbsp. of açai powder into OJ or add 2 Tbsp. of açai pulp to cereal, yogurt, or a smoothie.
6. Black Beans
Muscle growth, Brain stimulant, Heart healthy
All beans are good for your heart, but none can boost your brain power like black beans. That's because they're full of anthocyanins, antioxidant compounds that have been shown to improve brain function. A daily ½cup serving provides 8 grams of protein and 7.5 grams of fiber, and is low in calories and free of saturated fat.
SUBSTITUTES: Peas, lentils, and pinto, kidney, fava, and lima beans
FIT IT IN: Wrap black beans in a breakfast burrito; use both black beans and kidney beans in your chili; puree 1 cup black beans with ¼cup olive oil and roasted garlic for a healthy dip; add favas, limas, or peas to pasta dishes.
HOME RUN: Black Bean and Tomato Salsa Dice 4 tomatoes, 1 onion, 3 cloves garlic, 2 jalapeños, 1 yellow bell pepper, and 1 mango. Mix in a can of black beans and garnish with 1/2 cup chopped cilantro and the juice of 2 limes.
7. Walnuts
Muscle growth, Brain stimulant, Cancer fighter, Heart healthy, Boosts immunity
Richer in heart-healthy omega-3s than salmon, loaded with more anti-inflammatory polyphenols than red wine, and packing half as much muscle-building protein as chicken, the walnut sounds like a Frankenfood, but it grows on trees. Other nuts combine only one or two of these features, not all three. A serving of walnuts — about 1 ounce, or seven nuts — is good anytime, but especially as a postworkout recovery snack.
SUBSTITUTES: Almonds, peanuts, pistachios, macadamia nuts, hazelnuts
FIT IT IN: Sprinkle on top of salads; dice and add to pancake batter; spoon peanut butter into curries; grind and mix with olive oil to make a marinade for grilled fish or chicken.
HOME RUN: Mix 1 cup walnuts with ½ cup dried blueberries and ¼ cup dark chocolate chunks.
8. Oats
Muscle growth, Brain stimulant, Heart healthy
The éminence grise of health food, oats garnered the FDA's first seal of approval. They are packed with soluble fiber, which lowers the risk of heart disease. Yes, oats are loaded with carbs, but the release of those sugars is slowed by the fiber, and because oats also have 10 grams of protein per ½-cup serving, they deliver steady muscle-building energy.
SUBSTITUTES: Quinoa, flaxseed, wild rice
FIT IT IN: Eat granolas and cereals that have a fiber content of at least 5 grams per serving. Sprinkle 2 Tbsp. ground flaxseed on cereals, salads, and yogurt.
PINCH HITTER: Quinoa Salad Quinoa has twice the protein of most cereals, and fewer carbs. Boil 1 cup quinoa in a mixture of 1 cup pear juice and 1 cup water. Let cool. In a large bowl, toss 2 diced apples, 1 cup fresh blueberries, ½ cup chopped walnuts, and 1 cup plain fat-free yogurt.
By Ben Hewitt, Best Life
Best Life
1. Spinach
Sexual enhancement, Muscle growth, Heart healthy, Bone builder, Enhances eyesight
It may be green and leafy, but spinach is also the ultimate man food. This noted biceps builder is a rich source of plant-based omega-3s and folate, which help reduce the risk of heart disease, stroke, and osteoporosis. And spinach is packed with lutein, a compound that fights age-related macular degeneration. Aim for 1 cup fresh spinach or 1/2 cup cooked per day.
SUBSTITUTES: Kale, bok choy, romaine lettuce
FIT IT IN: Make your salads with spinach; add spinach to scrambled eggs; drape it over pizza; mix it with marinara sauce and then microwave for an instant dip.
PINCH HITTER: Sesame Stir-Braised Kale Heat 4 cloves minced garlic, 1 Tbsp. minced fresh ginger, and 1 tsp. sesame oil in a skillet. Add 2 Tbsp. water and 1 bunch kale (stemmed and chopped). Cover and cook for 3 minutes. Drain. Add 1 tsp. soy sauce and 1 Tbsp. sesame seeds.
2. Yogurt
Cancer fighter, Bone builder, Boosts immunity
Various cultures claim yogurt as their own creation, but the 2,000-year-old food's health benefits are not disputed: Fermentation spawns hundreds of millions of probiotic organisms that serve as reinforcements to the battalions of beneficial bacteria in your body, which boost the immune system and provide protection against cancer. Not all yogurts are probiotic though, so make sure the label says "live and active cultures." Aim for 1 cup of the calcium and protein-rich goop a day.
SUBSTITUTES: Kefir, soy yogurt
FIT IT IN: Yogurt topped with blueberries, walnuts, flaxseed, and honey is the ultimate breakfast — or dessert. Plain low-fat yogurt is also a perfect base for creamy salad dressings and dips.
HOME RUN: Power Smoothie Blend 1 cup low-fat yogurt, 1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries, 1 cup carrot juice, and 1 cup fresh baby spinach for a nutrient-rich blast.
3. Tomatoes
Cancer fighter, Heart healthy, Boosts immunity
There are two things you need to know about tomatoes: Red are the best, because they're packed with more of the antioxidant lycopene, and processed tomatoes are just as potent as fresh ones, because it's easier for the body to absorb the lycopene. Studies show that a diet rich in lycopene can decrease your risk of bladder, lung, prostate, skin, and stomach cancers, as well as reduce the risk of coronary artery disease. Aim for 22 mg of lycopene a day, which is about eight red cherry tomatoes or a glass of tomato juice.
SUBSTITUTES: Red watermelon, pink grapefruit, Japanese persimmon, papaya, guava
FIT IT IN: Pile on the ketchup and Ragu; guzzle low-sodium V8 and gazpacho; double the amount of tomato paste called for in a recipe.
PINCH HITTER: Red and Pink Fruit Bowl Chop 1 small watermelon, 2 grapefruits, 3 persimmons, 1 papaya, and 4 guavas. Garnish with mint.
4. Carrots
Cancer fighter, Boosts immunity, Enhances eyesight
Most red, yellow, or orange vegetables and fruits are spiked with carotenoids — fat-soluble compounds that are associated with a reduction in a wide range of cancers, as well as reduced risk and severity of inflammatory conditions such as asthma and rheumatoid arthritis — but none are as easy to prepare, or have as low a caloric density, as carrots. Aim for 1/2 cup a day.
SUBSTITUTES: Sweet potato, pumpkin, butternut squash, yellow bell pepper, mango
FIT IT IN: Raw baby carrots, sliced raw yellow pepper, butternut squash soup, baked sweet potato, pumpkin pie, mango sorbet, carrot cake
PINCH HITTER: Baked Sweet Potato Fries Scrub and dry 2 sweet potatoes. Cut each into 8 slices, and then toss with olive oil and paprika. Spread on a baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes at 350°F. Turn and bake for 10 minutes more.
5. Blueberries
Brain stimulant, Cancer fighter, Heart healthy, Boosts immunity
Host to more antioxidants than any other popular fruit, blueberries help prevent cancer, diabetes, and age-related memory changes (hence the nickname "brain berry"). Studies show that blueberries, which are rich in fiber and vitamins A and C, boost cardiovascular health. Aim for 1 cup fresh blueberries a day, or 1/2 cup frozen or dried.
SUBSTITUTES: Açai berries, purple grapes, prunes, raisins, strawberries
FIT IT IN: Blueberries maintain most of their power in dried, frozen, or jam form.
PINCH HITTER: Açai, an Amazonian berry, has even more antioxidants than the blueberry. Mix 2 Tbsp. of açai powder into OJ or add 2 Tbsp. of açai pulp to cereal, yogurt, or a smoothie.
6. Black Beans
Muscle growth, Brain stimulant, Heart healthy
All beans are good for your heart, but none can boost your brain power like black beans. That's because they're full of anthocyanins, antioxidant compounds that have been shown to improve brain function. A daily ½cup serving provides 8 grams of protein and 7.5 grams of fiber, and is low in calories and free of saturated fat.
SUBSTITUTES: Peas, lentils, and pinto, kidney, fava, and lima beans
FIT IT IN: Wrap black beans in a breakfast burrito; use both black beans and kidney beans in your chili; puree 1 cup black beans with ¼cup olive oil and roasted garlic for a healthy dip; add favas, limas, or peas to pasta dishes.
HOME RUN: Black Bean and Tomato Salsa Dice 4 tomatoes, 1 onion, 3 cloves garlic, 2 jalapeños, 1 yellow bell pepper, and 1 mango. Mix in a can of black beans and garnish with 1/2 cup chopped cilantro and the juice of 2 limes.
7. Walnuts
Muscle growth, Brain stimulant, Cancer fighter, Heart healthy, Boosts immunity
Richer in heart-healthy omega-3s than salmon, loaded with more anti-inflammatory polyphenols than red wine, and packing half as much muscle-building protein as chicken, the walnut sounds like a Frankenfood, but it grows on trees. Other nuts combine only one or two of these features, not all three. A serving of walnuts — about 1 ounce, or seven nuts — is good anytime, but especially as a postworkout recovery snack.
SUBSTITUTES: Almonds, peanuts, pistachios, macadamia nuts, hazelnuts
FIT IT IN: Sprinkle on top of salads; dice and add to pancake batter; spoon peanut butter into curries; grind and mix with olive oil to make a marinade for grilled fish or chicken.
HOME RUN: Mix 1 cup walnuts with ½ cup dried blueberries and ¼ cup dark chocolate chunks.
8. Oats
Muscle growth, Brain stimulant, Heart healthy
The éminence grise of health food, oats garnered the FDA's first seal of approval. They are packed with soluble fiber, which lowers the risk of heart disease. Yes, oats are loaded with carbs, but the release of those sugars is slowed by the fiber, and because oats also have 10 grams of protein per ½-cup serving, they deliver steady muscle-building energy.
SUBSTITUTES: Quinoa, flaxseed, wild rice
FIT IT IN: Eat granolas and cereals that have a fiber content of at least 5 grams per serving. Sprinkle 2 Tbsp. ground flaxseed on cereals, salads, and yogurt.
PINCH HITTER: Quinoa Salad Quinoa has twice the protein of most cereals, and fewer carbs. Boil 1 cup quinoa in a mixture of 1 cup pear juice and 1 cup water. Let cool. In a large bowl, toss 2 diced apples, 1 cup fresh blueberries, ½ cup chopped walnuts, and 1 cup plain fat-free yogurt.
Disney is calling all moms
Walt Disney World Is Looking For A Few Good Moms and launching a nationwide search for moms who have mastered the art of planning a Walt Disney World vacation....you could win a trip.
Just check out this website.
Just check out this website.
Keep kids safe!
Here are some child safety tips mentioned by experts:
-Teach children to be cautious and recognize when something is not right,
-Encourage children to trust his or her intuition,
-Be able to talk to children when something is bothering them.
-Open a communication channel with children,
-Let children know that their body belongs to them,
-Let them know no one has the right to touch them inappropriately.
For More Info On The National Center For Missing And Exploited Children
-Teach children to be cautious and recognize when something is not right,
-Encourage children to trust his or her intuition,
-Be able to talk to children when something is bothering them.
-Open a communication channel with children,
-Let children know that their body belongs to them,
-Let them know no one has the right to touch them inappropriately.
For More Info On The National Center For Missing And Exploited Children
Ready for some vino?
Don't miss the Miami International Wine Fair this weekend.
6th Annual Miami International Wine Fair
Date:
Sep 08, 2007 (Sat) - Sep 10, 2007 (Mon)
Time:
3:00 PM - 7:00 PM
Cost:
$65 Presale; $75 at the Door
Place:
Miami Beach Convention Center1901 Convention Center DrMiami Beach, FL 33139
6th Annual Miami International Wine Fair
Date:
Sep 08, 2007 (Sat) - Sep 10, 2007 (Mon)
Time:
3:00 PM - 7:00 PM
Cost:
$65 Presale; $75 at the Door
Place:
Miami Beach Convention Center1901 Convention Center DrMiami Beach, FL 33139
The HPV vaccine
Despite recommendations for annual preventive exams for adolescents, only 10 percent of teens have enough visits within 12 months to receive the recommended three shots needed for HPV vaccine.
Ideally the three shots are delivered within six months, and only 1 percent of teens see their physicians that often. HPV or the human papillomavirus is the most common sexually transmitted infection in the United States. Two of the four strains the new HPV vaccine, Gardasil®, manufactured by Merck & Co., Inc., protect against cause 70 percent of cervical cancers (the other two protect against 90 percent of genital warts). The vaccine was recommended earlier this year by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices and the American Academy of Pediatrics for girls 11 and 12 and those 13 to 26 who had not yet received the vaccine.
Ideally the three shots are delivered within six months, and only 1 percent of teens see their physicians that often. HPV or the human papillomavirus is the most common sexually transmitted infection in the United States. Two of the four strains the new HPV vaccine, Gardasil®, manufactured by Merck & Co., Inc., protect against cause 70 percent of cervical cancers (the other two protect against 90 percent of genital warts). The vaccine was recommended earlier this year by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices and the American Academy of Pediatrics for girls 11 and 12 and those 13 to 26 who had not yet received the vaccine.
Hot Flashes and Flaxseed
Data from a new Mayo Clinic study suggest that dietary therapy using flaxseed can decrease hot flashes in postmenopausal women who do not take estrogen. Although until recently hormone replacement therapy was the most commonly prescribed treatment for hot flashes, unwanted side effects have led to the search for nonhormonal solutions. Several effective nonhormonal drug therapies have been identified, but they are not always effective, and not all women can use them because of side effects. These limitations have led researchers to explore non-drug agents. They have studied a variety of herbal and dietary supplements in randomized, placebo-controlled trials, including vitamin E, black cohosh and soy, but none has shown to produce any significant reduction in frequency or severity of hot flashes.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Quick hair fixes
They call me the one with the chemically dependant hair and yes...I've done just about everything to my mane. It's been every color under the rainbow so I tend to have dry and sometimes frizzy hair. I ran across this really good site that has a bunch of different quick fixes for lots of hair issues. Check it out.
Workplace etiquette
Ever been caught talking with your mouth full at a business luncheon? I've seen it more than once in my career so maybe it's time to go over the rules again. Check out the do's and don't's when it comes to workplace etiquette.
Smoking and your baby
Nicotine in breast milk disrupts babies' sleep patterns and shortens naps by one third, according to a new study, "Infants spent less time sleeping overall and woke up from naps sooner when their mothers smoked prior to breast-feeding," lead author said in a prepared statement. Previous research had shown that nicotine levels peak in breast milk 30 minutes to 60 minutes after smoking one to two cigarettes and are gone after three hours, suggesting that mothers can time their smoking and breast-feeding opportunities.
Saying No to sex?
A U.S. survey found 44 percent of women over age 35 say that they have avoided, made an excuse or stopped having sex because of physical discomfort. More than half of U.S. women ages 35 and over are having less sex during menopause than before menopause, found the Sex & Menopause Survey, conducted by Harris Interactive for Duramed Pharmaceuticals, Inc. While 95 percent of the women were knowledgeable about hot flashes and 91 percent were knowledgeable about night sweats, 47 percent reported they were not knowledgeable about another symptom of menopause -- vaginal atrophy, resulting in vaginal narrowing or shrinkage which can cause vaginal dryness and painful sex.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
14 Signs of a Healthy Relationship
What does a healthy relationship look like? Would we recognise one when we see one? Are those the laugh-a-minute ones or the endless drama ones we see on TV? Or do we only find healthy relationships in real life?
"The media has a tendency to portray extremes – either very happy couples in comedies or very unhappy and intense couples in dramas. The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle," says Cape Town psychologist Ilse Terblanche. "It is unlikely that any one couple will be miserable or screeching with laughter 100% of the time."
So what are the signs of a healthy relationship?
Giving space. Those in healthy relationships are not clingy or overly dependent and they can give each other space in which to do their own thing. This doesn't mean that they don't do anything together – on the contrary. But they don't feel they have to be at each other's sides like heart lung machines. And they don't watch every move of their partner jealously. They are happy in themselves and don't need to get constant minute-by-minute approval, but they give support when it is called for.
Positive input. Couples who are happy together give each other emotional support and they don't put each other down in front of friends or family. They discuss the problems they may have in private and don't use social gatherings to air their grievances. There are few things less attractive than a husband or wife making cutting or damaging remarks to their spouse in front of others. Do this, and be prepared for a social life that grinds to a halt.
Quiet times together. Happy couples do not need to talk to each other constantly. They can be quiet together as well – reading, pottering around the house or whatever, happy in the knowledge that the other person is around, albeit quietly.
Equal sharing of tasks/responsibility. This is a huge one. If the major portion of the housework or the responsibility for the children and the household falls on one person, there is a problem. If only one of the spouses has a fulltime job, it is only fair that the lion's share of the household tasks be done by the other spouse. But in many cases, they both work full-time, yet one person still assumes more or less total responsibility for the household. Healthy couples do not function in this way.
Sense of humour. If a couple can laugh together, chances are that they will stay together for a long time. It also means they have a similar outlook on life, and similar values and perceptions. No couple on earth can always agree with each other on everything – that is simply impossible, but a couple that can laugh, knows how to diffuse tension.
Enjoy socialising. Isolation is always a bad sign. Of course, it's different if you've just moved to a new place, but couples who don't take trouble over friendships or who don't make an effort to see people regularly, are probably not very happy. Very jealous spouses will often try and isolate their partner from friends and family. If this happens, danger lights should begin flashing. If couples enjoy each other's company, they will more than likely enjoy seeing friends together as well.
Good sex life. What constitutes a good sex life is anyone's guess – different strokes for different folks, so to speak. But the essential thing is that the couple themselves has to be happy with it. Open communication about sex is essential – if a couple can do this, there is little that will be able to destroy their relationship.
Joint financial responsibility. This does not necessarily mean that each of the spouses has to contribute an equal amount, but it does mean that each spouse takes on a share of responsibility. This implies that neither of them will go out and buy designer clothes or golf clubs when the family is in financial trouble. A family is a unit and should function in that way – if it doesn't, chances are there are other serious problems as well.
Respect. This is both respect for one another, for the children and for other family members – whether you particularly like them or not. Yes, respect is mostly something that needs to be earned, but if you show no respect for your spouse or other family, you can hardly expect them to show respect for you. Respect implies giving space, respecting work commitments, respecting friendships and having basic respect for the other person as a separate human being with hopes, fears, dreams and desires.
Having fun together. Enjoying time together is essential for any good relationship. Having fun doesn't necessarily mean spending a lot of money. Two people can have fun walking in the park, having a cup of coffee, reading to each other, playing with the children. But if a couple can enjoy things together, the relationship has good long-term prospects.
Good listening skills. If your spouse asks you how you are, but does not listen to your answer, there's a problem. If your spouse chatters non-stop, like a caged bird, your relationship could also be in trouble, because you would learn to switch off for your own self-preservation. Good listening skills are essential in any relationship, because a good listener will be able to access the underlying feelings to the words someone says. And most important of all, remember what the other person is saying.
United front to the children. Happy couples do not use the children to manipulate each other, or allow the children to manipulate them or let the children play them off against each other. A united front is important, as children very quickly sense when there is uncertainty in one of the parents regarding the application of certain rules, and they will abuse that. It is also important to minimise arguing in front of the children and the children need to see physical signs of affection like hugs.
Good conflict resolution skills. Your spouse has asked his/her parents to dinner on your birthday and you had a romantic candlelit dinner in mind. Or your spouse has spent money meant for the service on the car on a painting for the lounge – without consulting you. No relationship is without its conflicts, unless one of the two people has given up completely on retaining any form of individuality. But happy couples deal with conflict in a meaningful way. That is, a way in which t gets resolved and doesn't harden into insoluble resentments that stretch over decades.
Room to grow. Happy couples accept that people and their personalities and interests are not static. People change and their interests can also change over time. Happy couples allow each other the space within which this can happen. Unhappy couples try and pin someone down into a predictable and unchanging pattern.
(Susan Erasmus, Health24)
"The media has a tendency to portray extremes – either very happy couples in comedies or very unhappy and intense couples in dramas. The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle," says Cape Town psychologist Ilse Terblanche. "It is unlikely that any one couple will be miserable or screeching with laughter 100% of the time."
So what are the signs of a healthy relationship?
Giving space. Those in healthy relationships are not clingy or overly dependent and they can give each other space in which to do their own thing. This doesn't mean that they don't do anything together – on the contrary. But they don't feel they have to be at each other's sides like heart lung machines. And they don't watch every move of their partner jealously. They are happy in themselves and don't need to get constant minute-by-minute approval, but they give support when it is called for.
Positive input. Couples who are happy together give each other emotional support and they don't put each other down in front of friends or family. They discuss the problems they may have in private and don't use social gatherings to air their grievances. There are few things less attractive than a husband or wife making cutting or damaging remarks to their spouse in front of others. Do this, and be prepared for a social life that grinds to a halt.
Quiet times together. Happy couples do not need to talk to each other constantly. They can be quiet together as well – reading, pottering around the house or whatever, happy in the knowledge that the other person is around, albeit quietly.
Equal sharing of tasks/responsibility. This is a huge one. If the major portion of the housework or the responsibility for the children and the household falls on one person, there is a problem. If only one of the spouses has a fulltime job, it is only fair that the lion's share of the household tasks be done by the other spouse. But in many cases, they both work full-time, yet one person still assumes more or less total responsibility for the household. Healthy couples do not function in this way.
Sense of humour. If a couple can laugh together, chances are that they will stay together for a long time. It also means they have a similar outlook on life, and similar values and perceptions. No couple on earth can always agree with each other on everything – that is simply impossible, but a couple that can laugh, knows how to diffuse tension.
Enjoy socialising. Isolation is always a bad sign. Of course, it's different if you've just moved to a new place, but couples who don't take trouble over friendships or who don't make an effort to see people regularly, are probably not very happy. Very jealous spouses will often try and isolate their partner from friends and family. If this happens, danger lights should begin flashing. If couples enjoy each other's company, they will more than likely enjoy seeing friends together as well.
Good sex life. What constitutes a good sex life is anyone's guess – different strokes for different folks, so to speak. But the essential thing is that the couple themselves has to be happy with it. Open communication about sex is essential – if a couple can do this, there is little that will be able to destroy their relationship.
Joint financial responsibility. This does not necessarily mean that each of the spouses has to contribute an equal amount, but it does mean that each spouse takes on a share of responsibility. This implies that neither of them will go out and buy designer clothes or golf clubs when the family is in financial trouble. A family is a unit and should function in that way – if it doesn't, chances are there are other serious problems as well.
Respect. This is both respect for one another, for the children and for other family members – whether you particularly like them or not. Yes, respect is mostly something that needs to be earned, but if you show no respect for your spouse or other family, you can hardly expect them to show respect for you. Respect implies giving space, respecting work commitments, respecting friendships and having basic respect for the other person as a separate human being with hopes, fears, dreams and desires.
Having fun together. Enjoying time together is essential for any good relationship. Having fun doesn't necessarily mean spending a lot of money. Two people can have fun walking in the park, having a cup of coffee, reading to each other, playing with the children. But if a couple can enjoy things together, the relationship has good long-term prospects.
Good listening skills. If your spouse asks you how you are, but does not listen to your answer, there's a problem. If your spouse chatters non-stop, like a caged bird, your relationship could also be in trouble, because you would learn to switch off for your own self-preservation. Good listening skills are essential in any relationship, because a good listener will be able to access the underlying feelings to the words someone says. And most important of all, remember what the other person is saying.
United front to the children. Happy couples do not use the children to manipulate each other, or allow the children to manipulate them or let the children play them off against each other. A united front is important, as children very quickly sense when there is uncertainty in one of the parents regarding the application of certain rules, and they will abuse that. It is also important to minimise arguing in front of the children and the children need to see physical signs of affection like hugs.
Good conflict resolution skills. Your spouse has asked his/her parents to dinner on your birthday and you had a romantic candlelit dinner in mind. Or your spouse has spent money meant for the service on the car on a painting for the lounge – without consulting you. No relationship is without its conflicts, unless one of the two people has given up completely on retaining any form of individuality. But happy couples deal with conflict in a meaningful way. That is, a way in which t gets resolved and doesn't harden into insoluble resentments that stretch over decades.
Room to grow. Happy couples accept that people and their personalities and interests are not static. People change and their interests can also change over time. Happy couples allow each other the space within which this can happen. Unhappy couples try and pin someone down into a predictable and unchanging pattern.
(Susan Erasmus, Health24)
Does he have the wandering eye?
Is ogling ever OK? Many a man has been busted by his date for checking out that woman at the bar, at the grocery store, or at the office holiday party, and many a man has attempted to wriggle off the hook by saying, "What?! I'm not blind, you know … "
Read the rest of the story.
Read the rest of the story.
Asthma Drugs and Children
Parents' worries about the safety of asthma drugs may prevent asthmatic children from getting the relief they deserve, a new study suggests. According to data released in the September issue of Pediatrics, one in six parents of children with asthma is more concerned about the side effects of asthma medications than their child's need for the drugs. Addressing parental worries may increase adherence to needed asthma drugs, the researchers said. An estimated 10 million children in the United States suffer with asthma, yet only half of prescribed medications are taken daily as directed.
Diet and Teen Smoking
Starting to diet seems to double the odds a teenage girl will begin smoking, a University of Florida study has found. Smoking to suppress the appetite may be one reason why some dieting teens pick up the habit. But nicotine's ability to suppress the appetite may not be the only reason teenagers are more likely to smoke after they start dieting. It's also possible that dieting itself is making people more vulnerable to smoking, noting that animal studies have shown a link between food deprivation using substances such as tobacco. If animals are extremely food-deprived, they will use more drugs.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Musicians United for Safe Energy
Musicians United for Safe Energy, or MUSE, was an activist group founded in 1979 by Jackson Browne, Graham Nash, Bonnie Raitt, and John Hall of Orleans. The group advocated against the use of nuclear energy, forming shortly after the Three Mile Island nuclear accident in March 1979. MUSE organized a series of five No Nukes concerts held at Madison Square Garden in New York in September 1979. They also staged a large rally in downtown Battery Park.
Who has ther weirdest rules? Men or Women
Man Laws and Woman Rules is a game of life's unwritten laws. There are certain and separate bi-laws that men and women follow in life. These statutes have never been written down but are still binding. Most have been taught these rules since childhood. This is a game that will identify which men follow the "man laws" and which women follow the "women rules", and just how ridiculous each of the sexes think the other is for doing so! This is a conversation game for 2 or more players ages 17 and up. Game contains 150 Man Laws & case cards, 150 Woman Rules & case cards, 48 voting cards, a card tray, score pad, and pencils.
ADHD medications needed
Nearly 9 percent of American children have attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), but only 32 percent of them are getting the medication they need. That's the sobering conclusion of a landmark new study, the first of its kind based on what doctors consider the "gold standard" of diagnostic criteria -- the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition.
Do you suffer from migraines?
Childhood abuse is more common in women with migraine who suffer depression than in women with migraine alone, according to a new study. The association between migraine and depression is well established, but the mechanism is uncertain. The study found women with migraine who had major depression were twice as likely as those with migraine alone to report being sexually abused as a child. If the abuse continued past age 12, the women with migraine were five times more likely to report depression.
Americans work hard!
American workers stay longer in the office, at the factory or on the farm than their counterparts in Europe and most other rich nations, and they produce more per person over the year.
They also get more done per hour than everyone but the Norwegians, according to a U.N. report released Monday, which said the United States "leads the world in labor productivity."
The average U.S. worker produces $63,885 of wealth per year, more than their counterparts in all other countries, the International Labor Organization said in its report. Ireland comes in second at $55,986, followed by Luxembourg at $55,641, Belgium at $55,235 and France at $54,609.
They also get more done per hour than everyone but the Norwegians, according to a U.N. report released Monday, which said the United States "leads the world in labor productivity."
The average U.S. worker produces $63,885 of wealth per year, more than their counterparts in all other countries, the International Labor Organization said in its report. Ireland comes in second at $55,986, followed by Luxembourg at $55,641, Belgium at $55,235 and France at $54,609.
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