How much does love really cost?

The REAL Cost of Love (Best Life)

What You'll Give Her: Flowers
Cost in a Year: $300
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $15,000
What You'll Give Her: Cards for all the usual reasons
Cost in a Year: $21
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $1,050
What You'll Give Her: Dinners out
Cost in a Year: $2,526
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $126,300
What You'll Give Her: Expensive dinners to apologize
Cost in a Year: $700
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $35,000
What You'll Give Her: Theater, movie, concert tickets
Cost in a Year: $752
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $37,600
What You'll Give Her: Vacations
Cost in a Year: $2,913
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $145,650
What You'll Give Her: Jewelry
Cost in a Year: $1,336 Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $66,800
What You'll Give Her: LingerieCost in a Year: $122
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $6,100
What You'll Give Her: Trips to the spa
Cost in a Year: $275
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $13,750
What You'll Give Her: Haircuts, grooming products for you
Cost in a Year: $1,000
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $50,000
What You'll Give Her: Vasectomy after the kids are born
Cost in a Year: $1,000
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $1,000
What You'll Give Her: Caring for the dog she loves so much
Cost in a Year: $1,266
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $63,300
What You'll Give Her: Valentine's Day
Cost in a Year: $86
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $4,300
What You'll Give Her: Mother's Day
Cost in a Year: $70
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $3,500
What You'll Give Her: Holiday, anniversary, birthday gifts
Cost in a Year: $421
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $21,050

TOTAL Cost in a Year: $12,788
TOTAL Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $590,400

Eat dinner together tonight

It's being called the 12th annual "National Eat Dinner Together Week" set for September 16-22. It's designed to get families to quit eating on the run,or standing up, but together as a family.

This event is not only being endorsed by the Parent Teacher Association and the Food Network but by Mom's everywhere who realize that sometimes there is just not enough time in the day, but that it's important to sit down, relax, share the day, and eat a meal together.

There is no major event here, just a movement to stress the importance of shared family dinners and quality time. In a stress filled world, a good meal and a good meal together can make all the difference.

Everyone is talking about "Talk Radio"

Ready for some live theater? Check out "Talk Radio" now showing at the Mosaic Theater.

Flumist for little ones

Parents planning to get their toddlers immunized against flu can avoid a needle in the doctor's office now — and the screams and tears that come with it.

A nasal spray vaccine won approval Wednesday from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration for children as young as 2. Previously, FluMist had been approved only for people ages 5 and older. The approval came as federal health officials urged Americans to get immunized over the next few months, when they expect vaccine supplies to be larger than ever before.

By encouraging a longer vaccine season, continuing into January, they hope to close gaps in immunization coverage, particularly among high-risk groups such as seniors, young children and health care workers.

Time for women to shine

Soccer update:

So far at the Women's World Cup, the USA has been more bruising than brilliant, but it might use the quarterfinal against England to refine its game a bit. England has reached its first quarterfinal by beating Argentina and tying Japan and Germany, and while it and Australia can be considered the weakest teams to reach this stage, there's been enough uncertainty in the U.S. game to gauge the English chances at something more than nil when they meet on Saturday.

Meet the "Kid Nation" kids

Did you catch the new CBS show "Kid Nation" last night?

40 kids spend 40 days in a ghost town without their parents to try to create a new world. Click here to meet the kids.

I loved it when they made the kids pick between having a TV or more port-o-potties. Smart kids, they went for the loo.

In the end, it was too much for 8 year old Jimmy...he decided to go home. He was so cute..I just wanted to hug him.

Sophia won the first gold star worth 20 thousand dollars. See the next episode Wednesday nights at 8pm on CBS4.

Be mature

Know someone that need a lesson in appearing more mature? You should have them take a look at this website for some tips.

Texting etiquette and dating

Texting etiquette, explained
By Carly Milne

Combine the convenience of a cell-phone call with the privacy of an email, and there you have the latest, greatest way to keep in touch with someone you like: texting. These days, nearly everyone’s exchanging mini-missives with his or her amour. That said, there’s a right way and a wrong way to get your message through—and while texting has cultivated many a relationship, an equal number have foundered because the texters didn’t adhere to a few simple rules. Follow these helpful tips, however, and they’ll turn you into a texting expert in no time, not to mention aid in cultivating some warm-and-fuzzy feelings between you and your intended.
Do text on noteworthy occasions
Texts are a great way to let the object of your affections know that he or she is on your mind—especially when a response isn’t really required. “One text-worthy occasion is the morning after a great date,” says Regina Lynn, author of The Sexual Revolution 2.0. “A note saying ‘I had a great time last night’ or ‘Thinking of you’ is less intrusive than a phone call but very sweet.” Other prime texting times would be if your date has mentioned an important upcoming meeting or event. Sending a quick “Good luck at your meeting; you’ll do great!” beforehand or a “Hope your interview went well—looking forward to hearing about it” afterward are the equivalent of little love darts into your date’s heart. Keep ’em coming!
Don’t text when a phone call would be better
Though it can get addictive, having endless and lengthy text conversations in place of voice-to-voice action is a bad idea. Why? It’s all about making that human connection. “Texting is OK for simple exchanges of information — meet me here, see you there — but I want to hear my girl say hi,” notes Adam Dreyfus, 37, of New Canaan, CT. “I was dating a woman who texted me all the time, but it wasn’t the same as being at work, stressed out and behind schedule, then hearing the phone ring and hearing her voice. Just a simple ‘hi’ can make everything right in the universe.” So if it’s been a number of days since you’ve spoken to each other, consider picking up the phone to remind your sweetie what you sound like. Also keep in mind that texting can often be more cumbersome and time-consuming than a phone call, so before you compose your text, ask yourself: Would a phone allow us to hash out our plans more quickly? If so, save yourself (and your date) the trouble and use the phone.
Do flirt with caution
Nothing can break up a mundane work day better than a few texted sweet nothings… but if you’re thinking of steaming things up, proceed with caution. It’s all too easy to risk offending the recipient with a message that’s a little too titillating, too soon. “You shouldn’t start with porn words. Some people who can get really creative in bed still do not want to see certain words on their phones,” warns Lynn. “I would begin with some general flirting — I want to kiss you — and see what they say back.” If the person responds in kind and even escalates (questions like “What else did you like about last night?” are an obvious welcome sign), feel free to up the ante, slightly, with racier confessions. In short, before you dig into full-on dirty talk, you should pave the way with numerous texts that make it clear this is the direction you’re going and that the recipient is fine hearing them.
Don’t text at odd hours
Just as you wouldn’t call at all hours of the night, nor should you text then, either. “Always be sensitive to what the person is likely to be doing,” says Lynn. “For example, don’t text before 10 a.m. unless you know for sure he or she gets up early and enjoy mornings. Don’t text after 10 p.m.” Not only could you wake the person up (cell phones still ring when they receive a text), but even if your date's cell is turned off, he or she can still see you texted at 3 a.m.—and that makes you look inconsiderate, needy, or just plain weird.
Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say in person
Hiding behind your phone is a sure fire way to start a new relationship out on the wrong foot—especially if what you’re trying to avoid saying in person is important. “I once dated this guy who chose to text me about having an STD,” recalls Sharlene Smithers, 32. “I wasn’t as bothered by the STD so much as I was bothered that he texted me about it. It felt like a cowardly way out, and it left me wondering what else he was incapable of communicating to me.” It’s best to save texting for fun and flirty notes or where-to-meet-what-time type of plans. Save heavy conversations and first “I love you’s” for face-to-face chats.
Don’t text if you’re tipsy
This one’s kind of obvious, but just about everyone does it so it bears repeating: Do not text someone when you’re nearly-falling-off-your-bar-stool drunk. “I was dating this guy who would send me drunken booty call texts when he went out with his boys,” recalls Erin Street, 30. “I’d get them in rapid succession, starting with, ‘r u coming over?’ And then if I didn’t respond he’d say, ‘r u on yr way?’ When I talked to him the next day, he didn’t even remember sending them. We laughed about it later, but in the beginning of our relationship, I found it way too forward.” So take note: If you’re soused enough that the numbers on your touch pad are swimming, your judgment’s probably impaired enough that you’ll regret whatever you’re about to text. Go home and go to sleep. If whatever you wanted to say is that important, you’ll remember it and can text away tomorrow.

Calling Dr. Mickey Mouse!

Introducing Nurse "Belle" and Pinocchio the paramedic!

Stodgy bedside manner? Not at this children's hospital, where Mickey Mouse may be making rounds. The Walt Disney Company is stepping into the business of health care with a 10 million-dollar donation to create the first hospital to bear the Disney name in Orlando.... it will open in 2010.

Heart Disease - Men vs Women

When a man suffers a heart attack at a young age, klaxons sound and red flags flutter for his son. Pointing to a son's inherited risk of going down the same road, physicians probably will urge him to stay away from cigarettes, watch his weight and exercise regularly. But do alarm bells sound for the female child of a premature heart attack victim? A study suggests the answers are no and no. The study establishes that although the daughters of families with premature heart disease are indeed at higher risk of developing heart disease themselves, they either are failing to get that message or not bothering to heed it.

Tricks to ease stress and tension

How about 2 intelligent things you can do every day for better health?

1) According to Fitness Magazine, you can shut off your stress response in 12 seconds. Breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds; hold it for 4 seconds; exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds.


2) If you're waiting on hold on the phone, neutralize your tension with this exercise, which comes from the physical therapists at the Chicago Spine and Sports Rehabilitation Center:
Sit up straight, and put the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth (slightly behind your front teeth.) Then slowly open and close your mouth 10 times to release your tension.

It's okay to say no

It's Okay to Say No
By Meagan Francis

Who among us hasn't caved in to our child's pleading for candy or a toy, despite wanting to say no? According to David Walsh, Ph.D., it's a common occurrence — and a growing dilemma. Dr. Walsh, the founder of the National Institute on Media and the Family, says today's parents are almost allergic to saying no. "They think somehow it's hurting their kids and worry about their self-esteem." In his new book, No: Why Kids — Of All Ages — Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It, the author talks about our reluctance to deny our children's requests and why hearing "no" actually builds character.

Parent & Child: Why do you think parents today have such a hard time saying no to their children?
David Walsh: Parents are busier than ever before, and a lot of the time we feel guilt that we aren't spending as much time with our kids as we'd like. When we are with our kids, we want them to be happy and have positive feelings about the time they spend with us, so we end up doing things they will like, and we're reluctant to say "no."

P&C: Do you believe there are other reasons having to do with the media?
Walsh: Yes. I think current culture, media, and advertising have combined to teach us four values: more, easy, fast, and fun. And we have all been affected by those values. Parents get very anxious when their kids are unhappy or disappointed and think that it hurts their kids' self-esteem. It's part of an epidemic that's spreading. I call it DDD: Discipline Deficit Disorder. The symptoms are the inability to delay gratification, impatience, self-centeredness, and out-of-control consumerism. The job of being a parent today is harder than ever because media and advertising have brainwashed us into thinking that our kids should have more, that everything should be fast, easy, and fun.

P&C: We know self-esteem is important. How has the concept become distorted? Walsh: Real self-esteem is very important, but it's built through support, connection, and competence. Self-esteem is not a new idea, but it was mis-defined in the popular culture during the 1970s and '80s. We got the idea that self-esteem comes first and behavior comes second. In other words, if we feel good about ourselves, we'll behave ourselves. There's no evidence to prove that. It's important for kids to feel good about themselves, but people translated that to mean self-esteem means feeling good all the time.

P&C: In what ways can parents help their children build real self-esteem?
Walsh: Instead of doing things for our kids, we need to support and encourage them to do things for themselves. We can't just tell our kids that they are good and capable — we need to give them experiences where they can actually be those things. In this culture we tend to think that self-esteem comes first, and then competence will follow, but actually it's the other way around. For instance, if a child knows how to cooperate and get along with others, he'll have more friends, and he's going to feel good about himself.

P&C: Returning to the word no, how does hearing it benefit kids?
Walsh: It helps them build a sense of resourcefulness and determination. That's where disappointment can actually build self-esteem. If we shield our kids too much they never get practice at dealing with disappointment. But when children are allowed to work through those disappointments, they might realize, "This won't work, but I'll try something else." They build the sense that there are no dead ends, just solutions they haven't found yet. They also learn determination and patience. If we jump in and rescue our kids, it actually eats away at self-esteem.

P&C: So how will saying no to kids more often help them succeed in school?
Walsh: The biggest factor that will help kids be successful in life is self-discipline. Self-discipline is twice as strong a predictor in school success as intelligence. Our kids are as smart as they've ever been, if not smarter. The problem is that they are lacking in self-discipline. Managing their behavior becomes more and more of a focus in school, which leaves less time for learning.

P&C: And how will it help at home?
Walsh: We are born with all kinds of hardwired drives. One is the drive to seek pleasure and avoid pain. We're born with it, but that drive has to be balanced with other needs. When a child has homework to be done, and has a million other things she would rather do, she's only going to be successful if she has the self-discipline to manage her own drives well enough to sit in the chair and get the assignment done. When she can do that, she's successful and feels good about herself, and she'll have more confidence — the vicious cycle gets moving in a positive direction.

P&C: Do parents owe their children an explanation every time they say no?
Walsh: I think it's fine to give kids an explanation, but it's not reasonable to expect the child to agree. They're still going to want the candy, so we have to be willing to do the heavy lifting and follow through.

P&C: The word no sounds so negative. Can we convey it to our kids without actually using the word?
Walsh: Absolutely. There's nothing magic about the word no. We can say it in a million different ways. In fact, with younger kids it's a better idea to set limits and consequences positively. If you say, "Don't stand on the furniture," all they hear is, "Stand on the furniture," so it's more effective to say, "Please keep your feet on the floor." It's not the word; it's a strategy. This is not a hard-nosed, authoritarian boot camp approach to parenting. We don't want to over-correct — we want a balanced style of parenting that's clear, consistent, and positive. We need to spend as much energy catching our kids being good as we do correcting behavior.

P&C: What other values do you feel kids need?
Walsh: A sense of compassion. When self-esteem gets distorted, kids end up with an over-inflated sense of their own worth and entitlement. Compassion means that I put other people's needs and rights on par with my own, and kids need to learn that.

From Parent & Child magazine

A new way to clean out your closet with they help of friends

A group of women got together in someone's home and brought their unwanted clothing to share with each other.
Some took the time to organize the clothing and display it attractively, and then the women got together and took home their pick of clothing. They could take whatever they liked as long as they had contributed some of their own clothing. There's make-shift dressing rooms where you could try on clothing

It sounds like a lot of fun and a great way to update your wardrobe. This can also be done with children's clothing and toys.

Teens attitudes towards drugs

In a new survey on the abuse of methamphetamine among teens, many of the respondents said the drug was easy to get and believed there's little risk in trying it.
The study by The Meth Project, a nonprofit anti-drug group, found that nearly a quarter of those surveyed described it as "very easy" or "somewhat easy" to obtain the drug. One in three also said there was only a "slight risk" or "no risk" in trying meth once or twice. And about one in our said they believed there are benefits to using meth, including losing weight, coping with boredom and feeling happy. White House drug czar John Walters calls those attitudes "troubling." He and other government officials say the survey highlights the need for an aggressive public education campaign to inform young people about the dangers of the highly addictive stimulant.

Dr. Mom is in charge

Nearly two-thirds of women polled in a recent national survey indicated that they alone were responsible for health care decisions within their family, and 83 percent had sole or shared responsibility for financial decisions regarding their family’s health.
Women are also considered the primary caregivers for ill or disabled family members. Of the estimated 15 percent of Americans who are informal caregivers, almost three quarters are women — many of them struggling to satisfy expectations both at work and at home.

100 Mile Diet

A group of people are trying to only eat local food. The 100 mile diet challenge means only eating food grown within 100 miles. They want to raise consciousness about how local meat and veggies can be fresher and cleaner. And to show it's possible to avoid food that requires a lot of fuel to ship from thousands of miles away.

Find out more about the 100 Mile Diet Challenge.

8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage

8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage
By Ylonda Gault Caviness

1. You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?
When you get married, you think that as long as you pick the right guy — your soul mate — you'll be happy together until death do you part. Then you wake up one day and realize that no matter how great he is, he doesn't make you happy every moment of every day. In fact, some days you might wonder why you were in such a hurry to get married in the first place. You think to yourself, This is so not what I signed up for.
Actually, it is. You just didn't realize it the day you and your guy were cramming wedding cake into each other's faces, clinking champagne glasses, and dancing the Electric Slide. Back then you had no idea that "for better and for worse" doesn't kick in only when life hands you a tragedy. Your relationship mettle is, in fact, most tested on a daily basis, when the utter sameness of day-in/day-out togetherness can sometimes make you want to run for the hills.
That's when the disappointment sneaks in, and maybe even a palpable sense of loneliness and grief. It's not him. It's just you, letting go of that sugarcoated fantasy of marriage that danced in your eyes the day you and your beloved posed in all those soft-focus wedding photos. You're learning that marriage isn't a destination; it's a journey filled with equal parts excitement and tedium.
Waking up from a good dream to face the harsh morning daylight may not seem like a reason to celebrate. But trust me, it is. Because once you let go of all the hokey stories of eternal bliss, you find that the reality of marriage is far richer and more rewarding than you ever could have guessed. Hard, yes. Frustrating, yes. But full of its own powerful, quiet enchantments just the same, and that's better than any fairy tale.

2. You'll work harder than you ever imagined.
Early on, when people say, "Marriage takes work," you assume "work" means being patient when he forgets to put down the toilet seat. In your naiveté, you think that you will struggle to accommodate some annoying habit, like persistent knuckle cracking or flatulence.
If only it were that easy. Human beings, you may have noticed, are not simple creatures. Your man has mysterious, unplumbed depths — and from where he sits, you're pretty complicated, too. You have to learn each other the same way that you once learned earth science or world geography. And getting married doesn't mean you're done — it just means you've advanced to graduate-level studies. That's because every time you think you've mastered the material, he'll change a bit. And so will you. As two people grow and evolve, the real work of marriage is finding a way to relate to and nurture each other in the process.
"It's like losing weight," says Andrea Harden, 45, of Buffalo, NY. "You want it to be a one-time deal. You lost it, now just live. But then you learn it's a lifestyle. That's marriage. The effort is a forever thing." So don't be too hard on yourself — or him — on those days when you feel like you're struggling through remedial math.

3. You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe even wake up madder).
Whoever decided to tell newlyweds "Never go to bed angry" doesn't know what it's like inside a bedroom where tears and accusations fly as one spouse talks the other into a woozy stupor until night meets the dawn. If this scenario sounds familiar, I've got three words for you: Sleep on it.
You need to calm down. You need to gain perspective. You need to just give it a rest. I've found that an argument of any quality, like a fine wine, needs to breathe. A break in the action will help you figure out whether you're angry, hurt, or both, and then pinpoint the exact source. Maybe the fight that seemed to erupt over the overflowing garbage can is really about feeling underappreciated. Could be you're both stressed out at work and just needed to unload on someone. Taking a break will help you see that, and let go. Or maybe you really do have a legitimate disagreement to work out. Without a time-out, sometimes a perfectly good argument can turn into an endless round of silly back-and-forth, rehashing old and irrelevant transgressions as you get more and more wound up.
Even when you do manage to stay focused and on topic, there are some fights that stubbornly refuse to die by bedtime. And if you stifle your real feelings just to meet some arbitrary deadline, your marriage will surely be the worse for it. "This was a huge lesson for me," says Andrea. "As women we've been trained to make nice. But the whole kiss-and-make-up thing just to keep the peace was eating me up inside. I'd let things build up inside me until I just exploded. Now I wait a while to get hold of myself — let the emotions settle a bit — and state my position. Even if that means reopening the fight the next day."

4. You will go without sex — sometimes for a long time — and that's okay.
There are few men in the Western world sexier than my husband. And I don't say this because I know he may read this article. I've seen women checking him out when they think I'm not looking. (Honestly, ladies, you don't have to sneak a peek. I don't mind if you stare.) That said, there are times that I just don't feel like having sex — often for reasons that have nothing to do with Genoveso. (See? Even his name is sexy.) I can't lie and say this is always okay with him. But the fact is, there are also plenty of nights when he's not in the mood. So maybe a few days go by when we don't do it. And then a few more. And....
Sexless periods are a natural part of married life. A dry spell isn't a sign that you've lost your mojo or that you'll never have sex again. It just means that maybe this week, sleep is more important than sex. (I don't know about you, but between work, 3 a.m. feedings, the PTA, soccer, T-ball, and everything else, I sometimes crave sleep the way a pimply, hormonal adolescent longs to cop a feel.)
And don't kid yourself; no one in America is doing it as often as popular culture would have you believe. Instead of worrying about how much you think you "should" be having sex, keep the focus on figuring out your own rhythm. "I used to think, What's happened to us? We always used to be in the mood," says 35-year-old Kim Henderson of Oakland, CA, who's been married for five years. "Now I know better. Life happens. My husband just started a new job. He has a long commute, and we have two small children. I think we're good."
The key is to make sure that even if you're not doing "it," you're still doing something-touching, kissing, hugging. Personally, my heart gets warm and mushy when my husband rubs my feet after a long, tiring day.

5. Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.
I can be a bit of a know-it-all. There, I said it. It's really not my intention to be hurtful or brash with people I love. It's just that a lifetime of experience has taught me that in most areas, at most times, I am right about most things. What shocked me several years into my marriage, though, was the realization that the more "right" I was, the more discontented my husband and I were as a couple. See, oddly enough, throughout his life Genoveso has been under the misguided impression that he's right most of the time (go figure!). So we'd lock horns — often. That is, until I learned a few things.
Namely, that when it comes to certain disagreements, there is no right or wrong — there is simply your way of looking at things and your husband's. "I used to be very black-and-white earlier in our marriage," says Lindy Vincent, 38, who lives in Minneapolis. "Now I see that I'm not all right and my husband is not all wrong. There's more gray in life than I thought, and that's taught me patience and the value of compromise."
The more I get to know and appreciate my husband for who he is, the more I respect his positions. That doesn't mean I always agree with him. But I can see the value in striking a balance that satisfies us both. And instead of harping on how wrong he is, I can usually swallow the verbal vitriol and simply say something like, "I see your point" or "I hadn't considered that." After I sincerely acknowledge his view, it seems to become easier for him to hear mine. And because I know I'm being heard, most of the time now, I don't even want to prove how right I am anymore. Funny how that works, isn't it?

6. A great marriage doesn't mean no conflict; it simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right.
Maybe you think that because of my newfound wisdom, Genoveso and I never fight anymore. Ha! As important as it is to strike a balance, it's also important to have a big, fat fight every now and then. Because when you fight, you don't just raise your voices; you raise real — sometimes buried — issues that challenge you to come to a clearer understanding of you, your man, and your relationship. I wouldn't give up our fights for anything in the world, because I know in the end they won't break us; they'll only make us stronger.

7. You'll realize that you can only change yourself.
Ever seen the '80s sci-fi cult classic Making Mr. Right? When the stylish heroine, played by Ann Magnuson, is hired to teach a robot how to act like a human, she seizes the chance to create a perfect guy. A hotshot commercial whiz, she uses her marketing prowess to shape John Malkovich's android character into her personal version of the ideal man — sensitive, eager to please, and willing to listen.
There is a bit of that makeover fantasy in all of us — something that makes us believe we can change the person we love, make him just a little bit closer to perfect. We may use support and empathy or shouts and ultimatums, but with dogged conviction we take on this huge responsibility, convinced we're doing the right thing.
Whatever our motives, the effort is exhausting. Transforming a full-grown man — stripping him of decades-old habits, beliefs, and idiosyncrasies — is truly an impossible task. And you will come to realize, sooner than later if you're lucky, that it is far easier to change the way you respond to him.
Here's a perfect case in point: "I used to go off on my husband because he didn't empty the sink trap when he cleaned the kitchen," says Kimberly Seals Allers, 36, of Bay Shore, NY. "It got me nowhere; my rants only made him resentful. Now I come home and when the kitchen looks clean, I'm like, 'Cool, now all I have to do is empty the sink trap.'"

8. As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you're really made of.
I've got issues. Trust issues. Control issues. And others, I'm sure, that I've yet to fully discover. I guess I've always known I wasn't perfect. But in more than a decade of marriage, I've been smacked upside the head with the cold, hard evidence.
There were clues when Genoveso and I were dating, especially with the trust thing. Early on, I was supersuspicious of him. He used to say things like, "I'll call you at 8." Then, just to try to trip me up, he'd call at 8. I knew he was up to something, I just couldn't figure out what. The same kinds of experiences followed after the wedding. Except occasionally he would actually mess up. And I had no sense of scale when it came to rating his offenses; everything was a major violation. Whether he teased me about a new haircut or came home late, I seethed for days and even let thoughts of divorce creep into my head. I figured, if he loved me — really and truly — this stuff wouldn't happen.
I'd like to be able to say that this irrational behavior lasted only a few months and I eventually worked it out. Kind of, sort of, is closer to the truth. After years of looking deeply into my soul and talking to good friends and the best sister a girl could ever have, I've come to recognize certain things about myself. Not to get all Dr. Phil about it, but I've had to examine my history with an emotionally distant dad and a strong-willed mom and face up to all the ways, both good and bad, that those relationships have affected how I approach my marriage.
I still struggle as a work in progress. But I am completely clear in the knowledge that many of the deepest frustrations in your relationship are an opportunity for you to confront yourself. That can be difficult to accept — after all, it's so much more comforting to keep a running tab of your hubby's deficits and tell yourself that his failings are the only thing standing between you and a better marriage. But if you let it, this bumpy journey toward self-awareness can be one of the more fulfilling rewards of a committed, long-term relationship — you'll learn to love your quirks and be compassionate toward yourself, just as you're learning to do with him.
That's the strange beauty of marriage: It's full of hard times and hard lessons that no one can ever prepare you for. But in the end, those are the things that give richness to your life together — and make your love even deeper and stronger than when it began.

Team building

For decades, corporations have tried different ways to help employees relax, bond, and think outside the box, all with the aim of increasing productivity by boosting team spirit.
With outdoor activities, such as rock climbing at first, but the mix expanded to include games of strategy, mystery parties, and contests such as "Corporate Idol." And now cooking-themed events have joined the list.
So what’s the allure?…the act of cooking, dining on your creation or the excitement of a company wide food fight? It could be all of the above but it seems to work according to companies that have tried it.

A company called Teambonding is one of many offering cooking as part of a team building program.

Memorial service and road closures

Thousands are expected to gather today to remember Officer Jose Somohano. The memorial service will be held at 11 this morning at the Pharmed Arena on the campus of Florida International University.

Officer Somohano will then be buried at Caballero Rivero Woodlawn Cemetery in Southwest Miami-Dade. He was shot and killed last Thursday.

Road Closures:
Several roads will be affected by today's service. All northbound lanes on the Florida Turnpike from Southwest 120th Street to Southwest 8th Street will be shut down from 10-45 until 11-30 this morning. Some streets around FIU will be shut down between 12-30 and 2-30. All westbound traffic on Tamiami Trail will be stopped at Southwest 112th Avenue. And all southbound traffic on the Turnpike will be shut down between Tamiami Trail and Southwest 120th Street. An important note for FIU students and staff. Day classes are canceled today. Evening classes will start at 5 p-m. All university employees should still report to work.

Janet Reno has a new CD

The nation's first woman attorney general is making history again - in music. Janet Reno is the executive producer of the three-CD, 50-song "Song of America" compilation. She calls the project a history book that begins with an American Indian song and ends with songs inspired by the Nine-Eleven terrorist attacks. The collection, featuring performances by various artists, goes on sale tomorrow.

Tots and socks

While this is hardly life-threatening, the doctors say sock-line bands in some cases developed at just one week leaving raised, reddish markings around the ankle or leg.
The marks in some cases appeared after wearing a tight pair of socks on just one occasion and though they faded, raised lines remained.
However while they may be unattractive, the lesions appear to be harmless but as the condition has only recently been recognised, whether scarring will be permanent remains unclear.
The team from Washington University advise parents to choose their babies' socks carefully, and ensure there is plenty of space between leg and sock.

The words that make parents cringe

What to Do When Kids Say, "I Hate You!"

Learn how to keep calm during conflicts with your children.
By Roberta Israeloff, from What to Do...About Your Child's Moods and Emotions

I'll never forget the first time my oldest son, then about six, screwed up his face, already contorted in anger because I wouldn't buy him a new action figure, and spat out the words, "I hate you, Mom."

I felt the mixture of emotions most parents do. Part of me was tempted to laugh because I knew he didn't mean it -- he was parroting something he'd heard from his friends. But another part of me was crying and upset. How could my son, whom I loved so dearly, say he despised me? At the same time, I recognized how brave it was. There he was, a little pipsqueak, standing up to his powerful mom. Announcing that he hated me was his way of serving me notice that he was separate enough to fight on a more grown-up level and felt secure enough to show me the full force of his fury, in a way I never could as a child.

"I hate you!" is just the first of many personal zingers our kids throw when they're angry with us. As they grow from ages five to thirteen, most of us hear any number of them, such as: "You always say no!" "Dad (or Mom) is nicer than you are!" "You're so unfair!" "You're such a hypocrite." It's worth remembering that one way kids and especially adolescents develop is by arguing and defying us, sometimes using withering scorn.

Don't Overreact

Though it's very hard not to boil over at moments like these, the best way to weather our children's expressions of hatred and anger toward us is to take a deep breath or two or even three, and not allow ourselves to get drawn into an on-the-spot protracted argument. Focus on the emotions, not the words, and stay calm.

"I know that you're very angry at me," I told my son. "We'll talk about it, but not right now. Let's wait until you're calmer."

It's important that kids hear you acknowledge their underlying feelings without trying to contradict or deny them, experts advise. To say, "You don't really hate me" or "I'm not being unfair" flies in the face of their own perceptions and feelings at that moment. At the same time, we do our kids a favor by helping them realize that erupting angrily and personally during an argument isn't appropriate.

Air Grievances

The timing of follow-up discussions is also important. You don't want to wait too long! Try to gauge how long it takes for your child -- and you -- to return to some kind of emotional equilibrium. "I know I can approach my son after a blowup when I hear him humming in his room," observes Sheila, eight-year-old Jonah's mom. "If he's still angry, he's conspicuously silent."

Once you sit down to talk, forget personal feelings and think of the discussion as a fact-finding mission. "I focus on asking questions and listening," says Lila, mother of eleven-year-old Marta. "I want to get her talking about what's bothering her, what I did that made her so angry. I have to work extra hard at not being defensive when she accuses me of purposely trying to ruin her life by not letting her go to the mall, though she knew she shouldn't go -- she had a test the next day. But I just nod. From her perspective, it was my fault. I can explain my view at a later time."

Lila has also learned that if she interrupts her daughter during a gripe session, Marta, like most kids, ends up feeling frustrated all over again.

Ask for Their Ideas

Swing into action only after your child has aired the entire list of grievances, advises Lila. She asks, "What can we do to make sure we don't have this fight again?" By asking your child to come up with a specific solution, you're putting the ball in her court. Not only does she feel you value her opinion, but she has the challenge of coming up with something that will make her feel better.

Remember, too, that our kids' gripes are sometimes justified. Parents do promise to buy something and then renege, impose unrealistic expectations, or blame the kids for something they didn't do.

Usually our children's requests for a change prove easy to comply with. Evelyn's seven-year-old son complained that he hated it when she talked on the phone after dinner because he wanted her to be available for help when he did his homework. She realized she could make her calls later and rearranged her schedule to accommodate his wishes.

End With Love

It's also comforting for kids to hear that we all have feelings of intense anger, even hatred, but that these are natural and don't last long. "Even when I'm angry at you I still love you," I told my sons when they were little, and they still repeat this back to me after our fights. I see that they feel reassured. Violent emotions leave everyone feeling tempest-tossed, and kids of all ages need to be reminded that once the storm abates, they'll find themselves in a harbor where they are safe and loved.

Don't hit the snooze button!

Whats the first thing you do every morning...smack the snooze button? Well you may want to reconsider and just get your tookus outta bed. STOP hitting the snooze button on your alarm clock!

Experts say your body needs a full 90 minutes to finish a whole sleep cycle, so those 9 minute sleep fragments are doing nothing for your body. In fact, an hour of drifting in and out of sleep does less for your body than just 15 minutes of steady rest. Be perkier; more awake!

A calmer commute

Stop and go, bumper to bumper, an accident has the road all backed up or simply the always present ladder in the road.

Does your morning commute have you getting to the office already stressed out? Here's how to have a calmer commute- on metro rail or a bus, for example. A new study indicated that passengers who keep themselves busy with a puzzle or a book feel less aggravated than those who rely on others for entertainment, possibly because engaging yourself distracts you from commuting frustrations.Work on that sodoku! You'll be the smartest person in the room, and also the calmest.

Black and Blue? When to see a doctor.

Bruises are common in children, and most heal on their own.

Some bruises, however, may require examination by a doctor. These symptoms should be evaluated by a physician: Bruising often or easily, without a known injury or cause. Significant or increased pain or swelling around a bruise. Inability to move a limb or a joint. Injury or bruising to an eye. Signs that a bone may be broken.

Always check with your doctor.

A site for teen girls

A place for your teen girl to surf:

A website for junior and senior high school girls offering a variety of interesting sections, including book reviews by girls, technology info, fashion, sports, food, news events of interest to girls, and more. A large "downtown" area contains mostly advertisements, but much of the rest of the site offers interesting content. Check it out at girlzone.com.