Even the most outwardly confident person has moments of self-doubt when they don’t feel at their best – but for some people the feeling of low confidence can be an almost permanent one.
Confidence is affected by many factors – including our own feelings of self-worth or perceived degree of success. If you’re lacking in these areas then you should check out the following top ways to boost your confidence – which will have you feeling able to tackle any given situation!
Get a new image
It doesn’t matter whether you are male or female – what you look like will always affect your confidence. Your everyday appearance – including what clothes you’re wearing, how your hair looks and what make-up you’re wearing – will make a massive difference to how you feel. All of us know how much our confidence can be knocked when having a bad hair day, or by having unsightly spots appear overnight smack bang in the middle of our faces!
It’s well worth investing in your appearance with new clothes or a new hairstyle, as this will really boost your confidence. Wear some colors that cheer you up and make you feel good about yourself, or go for a smarter option if you think this will make you feel more confident.
Get a new job
It might be your job that is causing you to lack confidence. If you’re in a place where you’re constantly undermined or lacking a challenge, then your confidence is hardly going to be sky high. If that’s the case, then it’s probably time to move on and find a more challenging role.
Look for that job out there that you really want, and then apply for it – rather than constantly thinking about going for it and then doing nothing. If you get the job then you’ll feel extremely uplifted and much more confident. Admittedly, there is always a risk that your level of confidence will go down if you don’t get the job, but don’t let that bother you; instead, be proud of the fact that you tried – and then try again.
List your good points
Write out a list of all the things that you are good at, to act as reminder to yourself that you are least good at some things! Then, when you’re feeling that your confidence is on the wane, take the list out, read it, and add something new to it. If you’re struggling to think of things to add to your list, then it’s possible you’re missing the obvious or being too harsh on yourself.
It’s also worth remembering some of the things you have achieved so far in your life. They don’t have to be earth-shattering achievements, but could still be something to be proud of – such as passing your driving test, raising a family, getting fit, or successfully saving up for a vacation.
Work on your small talk
Some people really struggle in social situations such as parties because they feel they lack the confidence to engage in small talk with people they do not know. They constantly avoid these situations and therefore their confidence does not improve – and nor does their circle of friends.
Our advice is: if you get invited somewhere, make sure you go! The more social situations you get in, the more comfortable you’ll feel making small talk to people you’ve only just met. Remember: most people probably feel the same way, and will probably be so relieved when you break the ice that they’ll open up and talk to you in kind.
Mix with positive people
Being around positive people will rub off on you and will get you in a positive frame of mind – as well as brimming with confidence! If you’re surrounded by happy, smiling faces and laughter, then isn’t that going to be infectious?
Being positive is all in the mind – so you have to make yourself think positively. But if there are positive people around giving you advice, building you up, and pushing you in the right direction, then thinking positively will come more easily and your confidence will naturally increase as a result. So, if you are aware that the people you mix with tend to bring you down a lot, then do something about it by getting some new friends.
Get fit and eat healthily
Your body shape and weight can have a major impact on your confidence levels – although we’re not saying that everyone who is overweight, underweight or needs to tone up is always lacking in confidence, of course. But getting more exercise and following a healthier diet will boost your sense of well-being – and this in turn will have a positive effect on your confidence.
Getting fitter and eating more healthily will definitely make a difference to your confidence levels – no matter how much or little you improve. Remember the saying ‘healthy body, healthy mind’? Well, it’s true!
Be assertive
Assertiveness breeds confidence in yourself and gains the confidence of others around you. If you take control of a situation, you will gain confidence from that, and any positive feedback you get from others will surely help with your levels of confidence too.
Being assertive doesn’t have to mean being rude or bossy. You could start by making yourself stand tall so that people take notice of you and your oozing confidence. Then decide that each day it’s going to be you that makes everyday decisions at home and in the workplace, rather than waiting to be told what to do or being passive.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Half full or half empty
How you respond to life's ups and downs can say a great deal about your personality. Is every setback just further proof that the world is out to get you? Can you roll with the punches, or do you punch back? Find out whether you may be too negative — or trying too hard to stay positive, no matter what — with this quiz.
I took the quiz and it told me my glass is Half-full!
Here is what else it said:
You try to look on the bright side, and optimism is a skill you've cultivated to help you weather life's rough spots. All the same, you know it's okay to admit when you're angry or hurt. You're neither blindly positive, nor prone to dwell on slights and injuries, and your generally positive outlook helps prepare you to take risks without being held back by bitterness or a fear of failure. Believe it or not, some scientists have theorized that there is an evolutionary advantage to optimism: Human beings may be programmed to view the world as just slightly better than it actually is, in order to recognize clearly any real threats to our well-being and handle them appropriately. Your ability to rise above negative thinking while remaining realistic about temporary setbacks is a great strength.
I took the quiz and it told me my glass is Half-full!
Here is what else it said:
You try to look on the bright side, and optimism is a skill you've cultivated to help you weather life's rough spots. All the same, you know it's okay to admit when you're angry or hurt. You're neither blindly positive, nor prone to dwell on slights and injuries, and your generally positive outlook helps prepare you to take risks without being held back by bitterness or a fear of failure. Believe it or not, some scientists have theorized that there is an evolutionary advantage to optimism: Human beings may be programmed to view the world as just slightly better than it actually is, in order to recognize clearly any real threats to our well-being and handle them appropriately. Your ability to rise above negative thinking while remaining realistic about temporary setbacks is a great strength.
Bat chat
How much do you know about Egyptian fruit bats?
Find out about the bats and more as the Museum of Discovery & Science celebrates Earth Day on Saturday and Sunday. This hands-on, family event has lots of interactive demonstrations, games and animal encounters.
Among the events: Robert Krampf presents FPL's Energy Whys & Lighting Shows at 1:30, 2:30 and 3:30 p.m. Saturday. Join the ''Bat Chat'' at 12:30 and 4:30 p.m. both days. And check out the solar-powered race car developed by South Plantation High School students from noon-4 p.m. Saturday. There's also a lineup of IMAX nature films.
The museum, at 401 SW Second St. in Fort Lauderdale, is open from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Monday-Saturday and noon-6 p.m. Sunday. Earth Day activities are included in exhibit admission, which is $10, $8 for children (ages 2-12), $9 seniors. A general admission ticket includes exhibits plus one, 45-minute IMAX film; it's $15, $12 children, $14 seniors. For more information, call 954-467-6637 or visit www.mods.org.
Find out about the bats and more as the Museum of Discovery & Science celebrates Earth Day on Saturday and Sunday. This hands-on, family event has lots of interactive demonstrations, games and animal encounters.
Among the events: Robert Krampf presents FPL's Energy Whys & Lighting Shows at 1:30, 2:30 and 3:30 p.m. Saturday. Join the ''Bat Chat'' at 12:30 and 4:30 p.m. both days. And check out the solar-powered race car developed by South Plantation High School students from noon-4 p.m. Saturday. There's also a lineup of IMAX nature films.
The museum, at 401 SW Second St. in Fort Lauderdale, is open from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Monday-Saturday and noon-6 p.m. Sunday. Earth Day activities are included in exhibit admission, which is $10, $8 for children (ages 2-12), $9 seniors. A general admission ticket includes exhibits plus one, 45-minute IMAX film; it's $15, $12 children, $14 seniors. For more information, call 954-467-6637 or visit www.mods.org.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Make chores fun
Make Chores More Fun
(Ann Matturro Gault)
Chores and fun in the same breath? You bet. Here, 9 ideas for getting kids to beat you at the cleaning game.
1. Hide treats, stickers, or pennies in, on, or under knickknacks, then ask your child to dust. She gets to enjoy the rewards only when everything is dusted.
2. Post individual lists of chores kids can do (one for each child in your family). Whenever your child accomplishes a task, have her mark it with a sticker. Whoever has the most stickers at the end of the week gets the Helper of the Week award.
3. Play "Go Fish" with a basket of clean socks. Divide the socks among the players, leaving a pile to draw from. Each player, in turn, holds up a sock and asks another player if he has the mate. If not, the asking player must take a sock from the top of the draw pile. When finished, the player with the most pairs wins.
4. Turn any socks that stay single into child-friendly dust mitts. Insert child's hand into clean but dampened sock and use it to remove dust from houseplants and furniture.
5. Have a scavenger hunt. Make a list of everyday items (newspapers, magazine, shoes, etc.). Set a timer for 5 minutes, then have kids collect stray items throughout the house. The winner is the child who picks up the most (and returns them to their rightful spots).
6. After dinner, do a "10-Minute Tidy." Set a timer and have family members scatter through the house putting away the day's clutter.
7. Appoint someone to be Inspector D. Clutter. Armed with a laundry basket and plastic police badge from the dress-up box, this person roams the house and puts stray belongings into clutter "jail" (the basket). To set an item free, its owner (Mom and Dad included!) must do a chore.
8. Turn a bucket into a personalized cleaning caddy. Use permanent marker to write your child's name on it and have him decorate its with other drawings. Store supplies such as sponge, dustrag and roll of paper towels, etc.
9. Show them the money? Some experts believe allowance should be reserved for teenagers. School-aged children will easily get behind the idea that chores are something you do as a member of the family — not for money. They'll be excited just to show off their skill at completing a task."
(Ann Matturro Gault)
Chores and fun in the same breath? You bet. Here, 9 ideas for getting kids to beat you at the cleaning game.
1. Hide treats, stickers, or pennies in, on, or under knickknacks, then ask your child to dust. She gets to enjoy the rewards only when everything is dusted.
2. Post individual lists of chores kids can do (one for each child in your family). Whenever your child accomplishes a task, have her mark it with a sticker. Whoever has the most stickers at the end of the week gets the Helper of the Week award.
3. Play "Go Fish" with a basket of clean socks. Divide the socks among the players, leaving a pile to draw from. Each player, in turn, holds up a sock and asks another player if he has the mate. If not, the asking player must take a sock from the top of the draw pile. When finished, the player with the most pairs wins.
4. Turn any socks that stay single into child-friendly dust mitts. Insert child's hand into clean but dampened sock and use it to remove dust from houseplants and furniture.
5. Have a scavenger hunt. Make a list of everyday items (newspapers, magazine, shoes, etc.). Set a timer for 5 minutes, then have kids collect stray items throughout the house. The winner is the child who picks up the most (and returns them to their rightful spots).
6. After dinner, do a "10-Minute Tidy." Set a timer and have family members scatter through the house putting away the day's clutter.
7. Appoint someone to be Inspector D. Clutter. Armed with a laundry basket and plastic police badge from the dress-up box, this person roams the house and puts stray belongings into clutter "jail" (the basket). To set an item free, its owner (Mom and Dad included!) must do a chore.
8. Turn a bucket into a personalized cleaning caddy. Use permanent marker to write your child's name on it and have him decorate its with other drawings. Store supplies such as sponge, dustrag and roll of paper towels, etc.
9. Show them the money? Some experts believe allowance should be reserved for teenagers. School-aged children will easily get behind the idea that chores are something you do as a member of the family — not for money. They'll be excited just to show off their skill at completing a task."
Prevent cleaning
5 Ways to Prevent House Cleaning Slavery
By Rhonda White
Eliminate the house cleaning drudgery with these easy 5 tips... If you hate "cleaning day" put an end to it by marking it off your calendar. There's an easier way to maintain a clean house than slaving away over dust and dirt. Follow these 5 quick tips to ease your house cleaning burden:
1. Change your expectations. Many of us fantasize about having the perfect, spotless house. With that illusion, we often expect ourselves to maintain a perfect home inside and out by working ourselves frantically. It's almost as if we feel our home is a mere reflection of ourselves as to how successful we are as a homemaker. While it's a worthy goal to keep a clean house, our desire to portray ourselves as "superwoman" will soon bring us to exhaustion. You have to examine your priorities and determine where housecleaning will fit on that list. We know that it's definitely not going to be toward the top if we have a husband, children, a job and other required activites. Get a good focus on what should be a reasonably "clean enough" house, and schedule accordingly and let go the "little" things that are not really necessary.
2. Buy colors that hide dirt and materials that resist wear. If you're like me you're always on the lookout to save another buck or two. However, when you're talking about a lifetime of work involved with upkeep, opt for better quality that will last much longer. When furniture, carpet and appliances are well-used and worn, no matter how much you clean, everything appears more dingy giving the sense that it's not so clean. It's impossible to wash away scrapes, scratches and set in stains. Choose your colors carefully as well. White carpet and white furniture may be alot of upkeep for those with children. Try darker, mixed colors and blends that appear to keep the eye busy looking at the designs and shades rather than looking for dust and dirt.
3. Buy some cleaning supplies and tools to make your job easier. There's nothing like trying to dig a well without a shovel. Invest in some cleaning supplies and tools that will make your job of cleaning easier and save you tons of time. I'm not one to go to the extreme on buying every new cleaning gadget on the market. Some work and some are just for looks. You need to decide what tasks need to be done at your home and find the best tools and supplies to accomplish that. My two favorite gadgets are the Swiffer duster and Mr. Clean's Magic eraser. The Swiffer duster has extendable handles to reach up or down to dust without stretching and bending. The duster slides between grooves and objects saving myself lots of time and work. The magic eraser cleans my walls, refrigerator door and other hard-to-clean surfaces making them look almost new again.
4. Clean messes and spills while they're still fresh. This seems so simple, yet, many of us think we'll just clean up that mess later when we have more time...and then it takes twice as long to clean up a mess that's dried or settled in. So, take this common sense advice seriously and you'll save yourself lots of cleanup time later. While we're on this topic, don't be afraid to call out for help from your children. It's good to teach your children to help work together as a family to accomplish tasks that need to be done. Little ones that make messes can be taught to help clean up their own messes. Invest a little time in teaching simple tasks like these and you'll save lots of time and effort in house cleaning.
5. Create a daily schedule to maintain cleanliness. I hate wasting a whole day away on cleaning. I would rather schedule 30 minutes each day to clean the bathroom up, pick up some stray items laying around and clean a few dirty spots along the way. You can also schedule one day to focus on floors, one for dusting and polishing the furniture and one for laundry and ironing, etc. There's no need to get it done all in one day if you can schedule a little bit each day. Get most of your cleaning done throughout the week and make your Saturdays a real day off!
By Rhonda White
Eliminate the house cleaning drudgery with these easy 5 tips... If you hate "cleaning day" put an end to it by marking it off your calendar. There's an easier way to maintain a clean house than slaving away over dust and dirt. Follow these 5 quick tips to ease your house cleaning burden:
1. Change your expectations. Many of us fantasize about having the perfect, spotless house. With that illusion, we often expect ourselves to maintain a perfect home inside and out by working ourselves frantically. It's almost as if we feel our home is a mere reflection of ourselves as to how successful we are as a homemaker. While it's a worthy goal to keep a clean house, our desire to portray ourselves as "superwoman" will soon bring us to exhaustion. You have to examine your priorities and determine where housecleaning will fit on that list. We know that it's definitely not going to be toward the top if we have a husband, children, a job and other required activites. Get a good focus on what should be a reasonably "clean enough" house, and schedule accordingly and let go the "little" things that are not really necessary.
2. Buy colors that hide dirt and materials that resist wear. If you're like me you're always on the lookout to save another buck or two. However, when you're talking about a lifetime of work involved with upkeep, opt for better quality that will last much longer. When furniture, carpet and appliances are well-used and worn, no matter how much you clean, everything appears more dingy giving the sense that it's not so clean. It's impossible to wash away scrapes, scratches and set in stains. Choose your colors carefully as well. White carpet and white furniture may be alot of upkeep for those with children. Try darker, mixed colors and blends that appear to keep the eye busy looking at the designs and shades rather than looking for dust and dirt.
3. Buy some cleaning supplies and tools to make your job easier. There's nothing like trying to dig a well without a shovel. Invest in some cleaning supplies and tools that will make your job of cleaning easier and save you tons of time. I'm not one to go to the extreme on buying every new cleaning gadget on the market. Some work and some are just for looks. You need to decide what tasks need to be done at your home and find the best tools and supplies to accomplish that. My two favorite gadgets are the Swiffer duster and Mr. Clean's Magic eraser. The Swiffer duster has extendable handles to reach up or down to dust without stretching and bending. The duster slides between grooves and objects saving myself lots of time and work. The magic eraser cleans my walls, refrigerator door and other hard-to-clean surfaces making them look almost new again.
4. Clean messes and spills while they're still fresh. This seems so simple, yet, many of us think we'll just clean up that mess later when we have more time...and then it takes twice as long to clean up a mess that's dried or settled in. So, take this common sense advice seriously and you'll save yourself lots of cleanup time later. While we're on this topic, don't be afraid to call out for help from your children. It's good to teach your children to help work together as a family to accomplish tasks that need to be done. Little ones that make messes can be taught to help clean up their own messes. Invest a little time in teaching simple tasks like these and you'll save lots of time and effort in house cleaning.
5. Create a daily schedule to maintain cleanliness. I hate wasting a whole day away on cleaning. I would rather schedule 30 minutes each day to clean the bathroom up, pick up some stray items laying around and clean a few dirty spots along the way. You can also schedule one day to focus on floors, one for dusting and polishing the furniture and one for laundry and ironing, etc. There's no need to get it done all in one day if you can schedule a little bit each day. Get most of your cleaning done throughout the week and make your Saturdays a real day off!
The dirt on dirt
What is House Dirt Composed Of?
(Geyser Vacuum Center)
The dirt in most people’s homes comes from three primary sources, two of which are unpleasant and one of which causes allergies. The allergen is pet dander. Cat fur is notoriously bad for causing a buildup of what we think of as dust and dirt. That is because the particles in cat dander are very tiny, and vacuuming along, especially without a HEPA filter, will not get cat fur out of your carpet. Even if you don’t have a pet, the dander is so fine that it may float into your house, or you may have picked it up from a co-worker with a pooch.
The second source of dirt is what causes the problem for most vacuum cleaners. It is bits of crushed rock. While we don’t often think of rock getting into our homes, it gets in fairly easily. You may have a rock on your shoe. One may have gotten into your son’s book bag. Your daughter may have had one caught in her hair from playing outdoors. Most of this gravel is very small, and you may not pay much attention to it. As you walk over it, the rock gets crushed and becomes sand. This sand then grinds into your carpet and becomes a buildup of dirt over time. Waiting longer to clean your carpets means that you are permitting more dirt to pile on top of each other. The dirt becomes compacted in your carpet and then begins to harden, making it even harder to remove.
The third component of dirt and dust is human skin. Some estimates are that human skin amounts to 80 percent of the dust and dirt residue in people’s homes. Even at much smaller percentages, human skin that has sloughed off through daily life makes up a good portion of the dirt in our homes. Getting rid of the dirt in your home will mean that you have vacuumed up these skin cells. Human skin is very light, which means that it floats. It often settles on bookshelves, furniture, and mantles instead of the floor. When you dust, however, you are pushing some of the dust onto the carpet, where it combines with the pet dander and rock already forming a layer of dirt.
These three components are not the only components of dirt. If you baked cookies, bits of flour and sugar may have gotten into the air. They become part of the dirt in your home when they land on the ground and are crushed into the flooring. Thinking about dirt and how it affects our health and our environment should be encouragement to clean often. Allowing the dirt to build up in your home means permitting allergens into your house. You are risking your immediate health the longer you leave dirt in the floors.
Cleaning more often also is better for your appliances because they don’t have to work as hard to get rid of two days’ worth of dirt instead of two weeks’ worth of it.
(Geyser Vacuum Center)
The dirt in most people’s homes comes from three primary sources, two of which are unpleasant and one of which causes allergies. The allergen is pet dander. Cat fur is notoriously bad for causing a buildup of what we think of as dust and dirt. That is because the particles in cat dander are very tiny, and vacuuming along, especially without a HEPA filter, will not get cat fur out of your carpet. Even if you don’t have a pet, the dander is so fine that it may float into your house, or you may have picked it up from a co-worker with a pooch.
The second source of dirt is what causes the problem for most vacuum cleaners. It is bits of crushed rock. While we don’t often think of rock getting into our homes, it gets in fairly easily. You may have a rock on your shoe. One may have gotten into your son’s book bag. Your daughter may have had one caught in her hair from playing outdoors. Most of this gravel is very small, and you may not pay much attention to it. As you walk over it, the rock gets crushed and becomes sand. This sand then grinds into your carpet and becomes a buildup of dirt over time. Waiting longer to clean your carpets means that you are permitting more dirt to pile on top of each other. The dirt becomes compacted in your carpet and then begins to harden, making it even harder to remove.
The third component of dirt and dust is human skin. Some estimates are that human skin amounts to 80 percent of the dust and dirt residue in people’s homes. Even at much smaller percentages, human skin that has sloughed off through daily life makes up a good portion of the dirt in our homes. Getting rid of the dirt in your home will mean that you have vacuumed up these skin cells. Human skin is very light, which means that it floats. It often settles on bookshelves, furniture, and mantles instead of the floor. When you dust, however, you are pushing some of the dust onto the carpet, where it combines with the pet dander and rock already forming a layer of dirt.
These three components are not the only components of dirt. If you baked cookies, bits of flour and sugar may have gotten into the air. They become part of the dirt in your home when they land on the ground and are crushed into the flooring. Thinking about dirt and how it affects our health and our environment should be encouragement to clean often. Allowing the dirt to build up in your home means permitting allergens into your house. You are risking your immediate health the longer you leave dirt in the floors.
Cleaning more often also is better for your appliances because they don’t have to work as hard to get rid of two days’ worth of dirt instead of two weeks’ worth of it.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Fit to be bride
Fit Bride 12 Week Fitness Plan - A personalized Fitness Plan that helps you get in the Ultimate Buff Bride Shape for your all-important Wedding Day.
If you are looking to tone up, burn fat and get in shape for your Special Day, then get ready for the Perfect Fit Bride Training Plan.
If you are looking to tone up, burn fat and get in shape for your Special Day, then get ready for the Perfect Fit Bride Training Plan.
Spring knot
Spring Wedding Myths Busted
By Kate Wood
Spring is the time of year most often associated with weddings, so you might feel there are even more expectations about what kind you should have. But we're here as always to tell you that the kind of wedding you should have is the kind that works for you! We've broken down some of the most common assumptions about spring weddings to help you make your own rules.
Myth #1: You must use pastel colors
Though some spring brides embrace the colors traditionally associated with the season, others cringe at Easter egg-inspired hues. If you find yourself in the latter category, go with a color scheme that fits your style best. Pulling off an unexpected palette gives your wedding an element of surprise that will wow your guests. If you want to go with a seasonally appropriate but still unconventional choice, take the pastels up a few notches and go with brighter hues like hot orange, acid green, and magenta.
Myth #2: You have to have flowers everywhere
On the one hand, spring is a bride's bonanza for flowers -- a huge variety of blooms are in season and easy to get. But if flowers aren't your thing, there are lots of options for creating interesting and unusual decor. One way is to incorporate other kinds of natural elements into your centerpieces: Think moss, wheatgrass, river rocks, or herbs. While these will still evoke a spring-like feel of freshness and rebirth, there's not a flower in sight. Want something more dramatic? Towering, blooming branches like cherry blossoms, quince, or dogwood look modern and incorporate some flowers without being in-your-face. Best of all, they look great anywhere -- whether on the altar or on your reception tables.
Myth #3: You have to have a daytime wedding
Dreaming of an evening affair? Don't let the season stop you. Some associate spring with a brunch reception. Brunches are beautiful, but they're not the best option if you want to have an all-out dance party. Though the days are getting longer, you can still wait until sunset (or even later) for your ceremony. If you want a daytime wedding -- particularly outdoors -- go ahead and take advantage of the fair weather. Spring's milder temperatures make a midday wedding much more comfortable than it would be in the heat of summer.
Myth #4: You have to stay inside
We know, we know -- April showers. While in many places early spring (in other words, March) can be unpredictable, don't rule out an outdoor wedding for the entire season. The elements will be a factor in an outdoor celebration at any time of year, but rather than giving up on going al fresco, just plan ahead. When you're looking at ceremony and reception sites, ask what other couples had done as a rain plan and whether any changes needed to be made. Get the details on those other spaces so if you're planning to have 200 guests, you won't choose a site where the indoor space can only hold 120. Another option: Reserve a just-in-case tent.
Myth #5: Your attire should be informal
The weather's warmer so hemlines can be higher. Sure, your bridesmaids won't have to worry about freezing in tea-length dresses, but it doesn't mean you have to have them. If floor-length is more your style, that's just fine. Same goes for your gown and the guys' attire. Though a light-colored linen suit would be perfectly apropos for some springtime affairs, if a classic tux better suits the tone of your wedding, go for it. No matter what time of year you're marrying in, the main thing that's important is comfort -- so if you love the look of satin dresses but are worried your maids will be melting, choose a similar style in a more forgiving fabric like a silk blend.
By Kate Wood
Spring is the time of year most often associated with weddings, so you might feel there are even more expectations about what kind you should have. But we're here as always to tell you that the kind of wedding you should have is the kind that works for you! We've broken down some of the most common assumptions about spring weddings to help you make your own rules.
Myth #1: You must use pastel colors
Though some spring brides embrace the colors traditionally associated with the season, others cringe at Easter egg-inspired hues. If you find yourself in the latter category, go with a color scheme that fits your style best. Pulling off an unexpected palette gives your wedding an element of surprise that will wow your guests. If you want to go with a seasonally appropriate but still unconventional choice, take the pastels up a few notches and go with brighter hues like hot orange, acid green, and magenta.
Myth #2: You have to have flowers everywhere
On the one hand, spring is a bride's bonanza for flowers -- a huge variety of blooms are in season and easy to get. But if flowers aren't your thing, there are lots of options for creating interesting and unusual decor. One way is to incorporate other kinds of natural elements into your centerpieces: Think moss, wheatgrass, river rocks, or herbs. While these will still evoke a spring-like feel of freshness and rebirth, there's not a flower in sight. Want something more dramatic? Towering, blooming branches like cherry blossoms, quince, or dogwood look modern and incorporate some flowers without being in-your-face. Best of all, they look great anywhere -- whether on the altar or on your reception tables.
Myth #3: You have to have a daytime wedding
Dreaming of an evening affair? Don't let the season stop you. Some associate spring with a brunch reception. Brunches are beautiful, but they're not the best option if you want to have an all-out dance party. Though the days are getting longer, you can still wait until sunset (or even later) for your ceremony. If you want a daytime wedding -- particularly outdoors -- go ahead and take advantage of the fair weather. Spring's milder temperatures make a midday wedding much more comfortable than it would be in the heat of summer.
Myth #4: You have to stay inside
We know, we know -- April showers. While in many places early spring (in other words, March) can be unpredictable, don't rule out an outdoor wedding for the entire season. The elements will be a factor in an outdoor celebration at any time of year, but rather than giving up on going al fresco, just plan ahead. When you're looking at ceremony and reception sites, ask what other couples had done as a rain plan and whether any changes needed to be made. Get the details on those other spaces so if you're planning to have 200 guests, you won't choose a site where the indoor space can only hold 120. Another option: Reserve a just-in-case tent.
Myth #5: Your attire should be informal
The weather's warmer so hemlines can be higher. Sure, your bridesmaids won't have to worry about freezing in tea-length dresses, but it doesn't mean you have to have them. If floor-length is more your style, that's just fine. Same goes for your gown and the guys' attire. Though a light-colored linen suit would be perfectly apropos for some springtime affairs, if a classic tux better suits the tone of your wedding, go for it. No matter what time of year you're marrying in, the main thing that's important is comfort -- so if you love the look of satin dresses but are worried your maids will be melting, choose a similar style in a more forgiving fabric like a silk blend.
Survive her wedding
How to Survive Your Best Friend's Wedding
By Diane Vadino
Your best friend's wedding: Just because it's the happiest day of her life doesn't mean it has to be the happiest day of yours. Don't be disturbed if, mixed with all that genuine excitement, you feel just the subtlest, quietest tinges of, well, take your pick: jealousy? Loneliness? Anxiety?
When my best friend got married a few years ago, I experienced every one of those emotions—plus, let's see, depression, terror, and confusion. None of that meant I didn't love my best friend—I did, and I do; I just wasn't quite prepared to give up so much of her time and attention. (I forgive her other commitments; she forgives my neuroses and selfishness.)
Obviously there are loads of women who can handle their best friend's wedding without a smidgen of self-doubt or soul-searching. For the rest—and, I would argue, the majority—of us, there are a few ways to navigate these uncharted, rose petal-strewn waters.
Don't feel guilty
Few things dominate a conversation like plans for an upcoming wedding. If you're feeling like your hopes, dreams, anxieties and crushes—more or less the substance of your discussions for as long as you've known each other—will suddenly take second (or third, or fourth) place to wedding deejays and gift registries, you're probably right. The unfortunate truth: You will get less of her attention. You will be required to care, deeply and endlessly, about the shade and silhouette of the bridesmaids' dresses—which, inevitably, will suit none of the bridesmaids. And you will be asked to do all of this with a smile on your face. Of course, because you're her best friend, you're going to do it all—but don't beat yourself up if that smile is just the teensiest bit forced. A wedding is one of life's more demanding endeavors, and it's natural to feel a bit put out by unexpected responsibilities, especially as your best friend—your rock—is likely less emotionally available than ever before. It doesn't make you a love-hating, anti-wedding monster—just human.
Resist the urge to romanticize
Yes, weddings are wonderful, life-defining events—but a lot of hard work goes into making that fairy tale come true, even for just a few hours. There are two sides to that coin: Expect a certain level of stress and irritability on your best friend's behalf—perhaps in an amount that's inversely proportional to how much work she anticipated in the beginning. At the same time, don't wander into the same trap yourself: An expensively decorated reception hall is hardly a guarantee of a lifetime of happiness. She isn't buying a one-way ticket on the express train to bliss, while you loiter around Lonelyville: Marriages are work. And just because your best friend has decided that marriage is right for her, it's certainly not a one-size-fits-all cure for the occasional Friday night spent doing laundry.
Don't take it out on him—either of them
In a perfect world, you'll already feel like your best friend's fiancé is part of your extended family. If not, hopefully your issues with him are relatively superficial: Chances are, he's as in awe of the wedding machine as you are, which could, happily, find you in the unlikely similar position of keeping your best friend—and his fiancée—solidly grounded. The big question, of course, is how to handle reservations that go beyond garden-variety gripes: If you feel like he's in a position to deliver real pain, either physical or emotional, you owe it to your friend to suck it up and speak your mind. It might not be pretty, but there's more to being a best friend than splitting two halves of a BFF necklace.
Meanwhile, if you're seeing someone but not quite at the ring-shopping stage, resist the urge to start unfairly contrasting the two relationships. While a certain amount of self-aware stock-taking is good for the soul, the run-up to a wedding is an emotionally charged time, and it's unfair to everyone to start demanding—either of yourself or of him—proof that he's the one. Take advantage of him as a refuge, an island of calm. But don't catch wedding fever and then submit your man to an unexpected—and probably unfair—sizing-up.
If you're single ...
The world is your oyster. While marriage offers myriad benefits, so can the single life—the excitement and endless possibility of where life could take you next. A dear friend's wedding can stir up all kinds of submerged emotions—and, crucially, a sense that life is, indeed, moving forward, whether you're ready for it or not. There are few better times to honestly ask yourself if you're content to continue on your current path—and if not, how best to change it. Always dreamed of moving to Africa? Opening a restaurant? Buying an apartment? None of those require a life partner—and personally, I've consistently witnessed an amazing synergy: When even longtime single people pursue their most deeply held ambitions, their excitement and confidence is palpable—especially to potential paramours.
Enjoy it
Fingers crossed, your best friend is only going to get married once—and while it may feel like the world's gone all topsy-turvy, have faith that it'll straighten out soon enough. She deserves her time in the spotlight, even if you're looking forward to quieter days, when the topics of conversation can be, once more, evenly divided. Just remember: More likely than not, she'll get her chance to return the favor, after you've taken all possible opportunities to wring every last bit of fun out of pre-wedding life. As for my best friend, she'll be repeating her vows next month, and though it took a bit of practice (and several years' worth of perspective), I'll be there to support her—at last, with a completely genuine smile on my face.
By Diane Vadino
Your best friend's wedding: Just because it's the happiest day of her life doesn't mean it has to be the happiest day of yours. Don't be disturbed if, mixed with all that genuine excitement, you feel just the subtlest, quietest tinges of, well, take your pick: jealousy? Loneliness? Anxiety?
When my best friend got married a few years ago, I experienced every one of those emotions—plus, let's see, depression, terror, and confusion. None of that meant I didn't love my best friend—I did, and I do; I just wasn't quite prepared to give up so much of her time and attention. (I forgive her other commitments; she forgives my neuroses and selfishness.)
Obviously there are loads of women who can handle their best friend's wedding without a smidgen of self-doubt or soul-searching. For the rest—and, I would argue, the majority—of us, there are a few ways to navigate these uncharted, rose petal-strewn waters.
Don't feel guilty
Few things dominate a conversation like plans for an upcoming wedding. If you're feeling like your hopes, dreams, anxieties and crushes—more or less the substance of your discussions for as long as you've known each other—will suddenly take second (or third, or fourth) place to wedding deejays and gift registries, you're probably right. The unfortunate truth: You will get less of her attention. You will be required to care, deeply and endlessly, about the shade and silhouette of the bridesmaids' dresses—which, inevitably, will suit none of the bridesmaids. And you will be asked to do all of this with a smile on your face. Of course, because you're her best friend, you're going to do it all—but don't beat yourself up if that smile is just the teensiest bit forced. A wedding is one of life's more demanding endeavors, and it's natural to feel a bit put out by unexpected responsibilities, especially as your best friend—your rock—is likely less emotionally available than ever before. It doesn't make you a love-hating, anti-wedding monster—just human.
Resist the urge to romanticize
Yes, weddings are wonderful, life-defining events—but a lot of hard work goes into making that fairy tale come true, even for just a few hours. There are two sides to that coin: Expect a certain level of stress and irritability on your best friend's behalf—perhaps in an amount that's inversely proportional to how much work she anticipated in the beginning. At the same time, don't wander into the same trap yourself: An expensively decorated reception hall is hardly a guarantee of a lifetime of happiness. She isn't buying a one-way ticket on the express train to bliss, while you loiter around Lonelyville: Marriages are work. And just because your best friend has decided that marriage is right for her, it's certainly not a one-size-fits-all cure for the occasional Friday night spent doing laundry.
Don't take it out on him—either of them
In a perfect world, you'll already feel like your best friend's fiancé is part of your extended family. If not, hopefully your issues with him are relatively superficial: Chances are, he's as in awe of the wedding machine as you are, which could, happily, find you in the unlikely similar position of keeping your best friend—and his fiancée—solidly grounded. The big question, of course, is how to handle reservations that go beyond garden-variety gripes: If you feel like he's in a position to deliver real pain, either physical or emotional, you owe it to your friend to suck it up and speak your mind. It might not be pretty, but there's more to being a best friend than splitting two halves of a BFF necklace.
Meanwhile, if you're seeing someone but not quite at the ring-shopping stage, resist the urge to start unfairly contrasting the two relationships. While a certain amount of self-aware stock-taking is good for the soul, the run-up to a wedding is an emotionally charged time, and it's unfair to everyone to start demanding—either of yourself or of him—proof that he's the one. Take advantage of him as a refuge, an island of calm. But don't catch wedding fever and then submit your man to an unexpected—and probably unfair—sizing-up.
If you're single ...
The world is your oyster. While marriage offers myriad benefits, so can the single life—the excitement and endless possibility of where life could take you next. A dear friend's wedding can stir up all kinds of submerged emotions—and, crucially, a sense that life is, indeed, moving forward, whether you're ready for it or not. There are few better times to honestly ask yourself if you're content to continue on your current path—and if not, how best to change it. Always dreamed of moving to Africa? Opening a restaurant? Buying an apartment? None of those require a life partner—and personally, I've consistently witnessed an amazing synergy: When even longtime single people pursue their most deeply held ambitions, their excitement and confidence is palpable—especially to potential paramours.
Enjoy it
Fingers crossed, your best friend is only going to get married once—and while it may feel like the world's gone all topsy-turvy, have faith that it'll straighten out soon enough. She deserves her time in the spotlight, even if you're looking forward to quieter days, when the topics of conversation can be, once more, evenly divided. Just remember: More likely than not, she'll get her chance to return the favor, after you've taken all possible opportunities to wring every last bit of fun out of pre-wedding life. As for my best friend, she'll be repeating her vows next month, and though it took a bit of practice (and several years' worth of perspective), I'll be there to support her—at last, with a completely genuine smile on my face.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Let your hair down
After a long hard day at work, you have to make time for yourself. Here are some great ways to pamper yourself and just let your hair down and relax.
Shortcuts for mom
Go Ahead -- Eat Out.
You have been working all day, either at home with your kids or at the office. At the end of the day, you are ready for someone else to step up and take care of you for a change. But instead of throwing yourself on the sofa with your feet up, reality sets in and you have to think about dinner. The simplest option, of course, is going out to eat or getting take-out. But for some reason after doing it habitually, we feel guilty, as if we are cheating, or doing something unhealthy. Here are some tips for enjoying restaurant food without the guilt.
• Drink a glass of water when you arrive at a restaurant. Sometimes people confuse thirst for hunger.
• Skip the soda and save your sugar intake for something really special (did anyone say chocolate?)
• Eat Smart. Did you know that while super-sized options save you money, they nearly double your fat and calories?
• Get your dressing on the side, so you can use what you need without drowning your food.
• Order appetizer portions instead of entrees. By controlling your portion size, you can prevent yourself from over eating. Or, if you order an entrée, ask for a “to-go” box and pack up half the meal before you start eating. Out of sight, out of mind.
• Remember – restaurant food tastes good for a reason…lots of butter and salt! With that in mind, consider avoiding cream sauces and gravies if you are watching your waist-line.
• Choose healthy carbs, such as whole grain bread, brown rice or whole wheat pasta.
• Your mama always told you to eat your veggies. Well, she’s right (of course).
• Look beyond the Kid’s Menu. Appetizers from the “regular menu” should have plenty of delicious options for kids that will expand their palates and help them to eat healthier.
• Your kids are watching what you eat. Be sure to set a good example.
If you are feeling guilty for eating out so much, give yourself a break. You are not alone. The average family eats out 29% of the time, where they spend 44% of their food budget. Cut yourself some slack. Go ahead and eat out, just make good choices.
Click here for more shortcuts!
You have been working all day, either at home with your kids or at the office. At the end of the day, you are ready for someone else to step up and take care of you for a change. But instead of throwing yourself on the sofa with your feet up, reality sets in and you have to think about dinner. The simplest option, of course, is going out to eat or getting take-out. But for some reason after doing it habitually, we feel guilty, as if we are cheating, or doing something unhealthy. Here are some tips for enjoying restaurant food without the guilt.
• Drink a glass of water when you arrive at a restaurant. Sometimes people confuse thirst for hunger.
• Skip the soda and save your sugar intake for something really special (did anyone say chocolate?)
• Eat Smart. Did you know that while super-sized options save you money, they nearly double your fat and calories?
• Get your dressing on the side, so you can use what you need without drowning your food.
• Order appetizer portions instead of entrees. By controlling your portion size, you can prevent yourself from over eating. Or, if you order an entrée, ask for a “to-go” box and pack up half the meal before you start eating. Out of sight, out of mind.
• Remember – restaurant food tastes good for a reason…lots of butter and salt! With that in mind, consider avoiding cream sauces and gravies if you are watching your waist-line.
• Choose healthy carbs, such as whole grain bread, brown rice or whole wheat pasta.
• Your mama always told you to eat your veggies. Well, she’s right (of course).
• Look beyond the Kid’s Menu. Appetizers from the “regular menu” should have plenty of delicious options for kids that will expand their palates and help them to eat healthier.
• Your kids are watching what you eat. Be sure to set a good example.
If you are feeling guilty for eating out so much, give yourself a break. You are not alone. The average family eats out 29% of the time, where they spend 44% of their food budget. Cut yourself some slack. Go ahead and eat out, just make good choices.
Click here for more shortcuts!
Best hair over 40
By Lois Joy Johnson
Over 40 Hair: The Long and the Short
The conventional wisdom for hair after 40 is that a well-mannered middle length works for everyone. We beg to differ. Your sexiest hair length may be a lot longer -- or shorter -- than you thought.
No matter how great you look, if you're over 40, your hair isn't what it used to be. Hormonal changes (especially at menopause), years of chemical processing and heat styling, even dieting and smoking, can contribute to skimpier volume, a receding hairline, broken wisps around the face, and a widening part. The gradual decline of estrogen slows hair growth; it also reduces production of collagen, so hair becomes drier and more brittle and loses shine. Gray hair -- whether you color it or not -- has a coarser texture.
You can fake healthier-looking hair in the short term -- and boost hair health in the long term -- with the right products and care. What you need now, no matter what your hair's length: low-sudsing, detergent-free shampoos that are loaded with humectants; rich, nourishing conditioners; protein-based masques; concentrated silicone or botanical serums to reduce frizz and add shine; non-drying mousses and styling sprays; creams to create a body-building base for blow-drying; light, leave-in conditioners for smoothness, silkiness, and manageability.
Short Hair Pros and Cons
Lena Kaptein, 42, cropped her bob in 1994 at the suggestion of a hairdresser friend who said she needed a more modern look. She instantly landed an Aveda campaign and has kept her short hair since. "My bob was too much work -- and all that teasing and hairspray are so not sexy. My son, my husband, and I have the same haircut -- we all wake up looking like Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Two minutes later, with a little molding paste, I look amazing."
Short Hair Suits You If...
Short hair can work for you if you have very delicate or very large features and a fairly firm jaw, a well-shaped head, and an elegant neck. The key is proportion. The secret, according to hair guru John Frieda, is the jawline: If the bottom tip of your chin is more than 2 1/2 inches lower than the bottom of your earlobe, short hair won't look good unless you increase the length at the nape.
Short Hair Pros
You never have to worry about your hair looking messy, rain wrecking your blow-out, or (if it's really short) hat-hair. It's easy to disguise regrowth by eliminating a part or running your hands through for a choppy, tousled effect. Because it's cut frequently, short hair tends to be very healthy, even with extreme color changes.
Short Hair Traps
A cut that's too shaved at the nape looks masculine. Highlights can look spotty if cut comes after color, and skinny, discreet ones don't work as well as chunky, bold streaks do. Virgin color on a super-edgy cut can be boring -- unless it's gray. But a vibrant hair hue can act as a permanent accessory on short hair, according to color pro Brad Johns. (If you go for a bright hair color, tone down your makeup for day.)
Short Haircuts
Nicky Kunz, 53, has always had short hair; it's been gray since she stopped coloring it at 32. "I have a small face, and my features would just get lost in long hair. Every two weeks I buzz it myself, since no one else gets it right. My hair is dry, so I use leave-in moisturizers."
The Best Short Haircuts
The Cap: Shortest of all, and cropped like an adolescent boy or a Marine, this works best for very textured, tight curls and very coarse, wiry hair. Well-defined brows help, as do strong bone structure and a big dose of charisma.
Choppy: On everyone's most edgy list of "things to try someday," the ultra-short shag has a kind of rock-band/French gamine appeal. It's not for the shy. But it is perfect for those with wispy, fine hair that just goes limp when bluntly bobbed; it also suits wavy hair that has built-in body. What's key is to vary the length of some sections for an irregular look. Piece-y cuts of about 2 to 3 inches all over can be tucked behind your ear, tousled for more texture, or combed flat for a more classic look.
Bangs: Full, shaggy bangs or long, graduated bangs that can be swept to the side give short cuts the illusion of long hair that's been pulled back. If you have thin, overplucked, skimpy, or misshapen brows, short hair with long bangs gives you the extra definition you're missing. Bangs can also hide a low, small forehead. Keep them jagged, not Campbell's-Soup-kid straight, for sex appeal.
Short Hair Care
If you do one thing, use your hands and styling creams or pomades to break up the layers for a tousled, frizz-free look. Try Paul Mitchell Tea Tree Shaping Cream ($14); Kerastase Paris Lumiere Nutri-Sculpt Finishing Cream ($29).
Hide your dark or gray roots with a color-intensifying mask or shampoo that blurs regrowth and stretches the time between salon appointments. Try Goldwell Color Glow Treatment Be Blonde ($14) and Colorective Bloody Mary Shampoo ($34). Shortcuts for short cuts: try a creamy all-in-one shampoo, body wash, and conditioner, like Sephora Triple Layer Cake Hair & Body Wash ($15). Thermasilk Moisture-Infusing 2-in-1 Shampoo Plus Conditioner ($14) is perfect for shorties who shampoo daily.
If you have chemically straightened or color-treated hair, use a conditioning cream like Alberto VO5 Sheer Hairdressing ($6) every day, and a rich mask like Frederic Fekkai Technician Color Care Mask ($34) once a week.
Long Hair Pros and Cons
Lisa Berkley, 46, a longhair "lifer," gave up straightening her naturally curly hair. "I'm more bohemian than sophisticated -- we live on a farm, and I'm in jeans and tees when I'm not working. My daughter, Isabelle, is 8 and a mini-me. We love our curls loose and wild. I even enhance the curls on top with a curling iron to exaggerate the look! I give my hair even more focus with beachy highlights that mimic what the sun does."
Long Hair Suits You If...
Long hair can work for you if your hair is healthy and your cut contemporary. Unless you have a hairdresser on call, aim for a length somewhere between collarbone and cleavage. "Long hair needs to be kept healthy with regular trims and conditioning, plus yearly updates to evaluate length and cut," says Mitch Barry, whose long-haired clients include Bernadette Peters and Christie Brinkley.
Long Hair Pros
You needn't wash and style it every day. Long hair is a showcase for color (it doesn't have to look natural anymore). Oh -- and men think it's sexy.
Long Hair Traps
Too long can look weird if the proportions are wrong -- e.g., if you're a petite five-footer with a Rapunzel mane. Too big a color change can spell disaster unless you're willing to devote major time and money to maintenance. Long-hair accessories need careful editing -- especially headbands, glittery barrettes, and froufrou clips, which are as silly as microminis on a grown-up.
Long Haircuts
Except for one "disastrous" bob during pregnancy, Donna Bunte, 47, has had long hair all her life. "It makes me feel young and feminine, and my husband just adores it. It's layered now -- more contemporary looking -- but I can still pull it back when I want to."
The Best Long Haircuts
Layers: Cutting long, face-framing pieces into your hair is equivalent to wearing the hot jeans that make your legs look longer and slimmer. Layers have a softening effect that flatters your features and jawline.
Parts: A side part adds sophistication. Center parts work only if you have deep, full bangs or stick-straight hair. A slightly messy, off-center part works for everyone, and helps camouflage roots.
Fringe: Not only are bangs a Botox alternative, they also add instant style, dressing the face even when hair is pulled back into a lazy chignon or ponytail.
For fine hair: Grow it no longer than shoulder- or collarbone-length, or it will look skimpy. Thickening products or volumizers will add body at the roots; a protein shampoo can help build bulk. Try Bumble and Bumble Thickening Spray ($19).
Blown straight: Heat straightening is a hair-health hazard. Minimize damage with a deep 3-minute conditioner like Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine ($4) twice a week.
Over 40 Hair: The Long and the Short
The conventional wisdom for hair after 40 is that a well-mannered middle length works for everyone. We beg to differ. Your sexiest hair length may be a lot longer -- or shorter -- than you thought.
No matter how great you look, if you're over 40, your hair isn't what it used to be. Hormonal changes (especially at menopause), years of chemical processing and heat styling, even dieting and smoking, can contribute to skimpier volume, a receding hairline, broken wisps around the face, and a widening part. The gradual decline of estrogen slows hair growth; it also reduces production of collagen, so hair becomes drier and more brittle and loses shine. Gray hair -- whether you color it or not -- has a coarser texture.
You can fake healthier-looking hair in the short term -- and boost hair health in the long term -- with the right products and care. What you need now, no matter what your hair's length: low-sudsing, detergent-free shampoos that are loaded with humectants; rich, nourishing conditioners; protein-based masques; concentrated silicone or botanical serums to reduce frizz and add shine; non-drying mousses and styling sprays; creams to create a body-building base for blow-drying; light, leave-in conditioners for smoothness, silkiness, and manageability.
Short Hair Pros and Cons
Lena Kaptein, 42, cropped her bob in 1994 at the suggestion of a hairdresser friend who said she needed a more modern look. She instantly landed an Aveda campaign and has kept her short hair since. "My bob was too much work -- and all that teasing and hairspray are so not sexy. My son, my husband, and I have the same haircut -- we all wake up looking like Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Two minutes later, with a little molding paste, I look amazing."
Short Hair Suits You If...
Short hair can work for you if you have very delicate or very large features and a fairly firm jaw, a well-shaped head, and an elegant neck. The key is proportion. The secret, according to hair guru John Frieda, is the jawline: If the bottom tip of your chin is more than 2 1/2 inches lower than the bottom of your earlobe, short hair won't look good unless you increase the length at the nape.
Short Hair Pros
You never have to worry about your hair looking messy, rain wrecking your blow-out, or (if it's really short) hat-hair. It's easy to disguise regrowth by eliminating a part or running your hands through for a choppy, tousled effect. Because it's cut frequently, short hair tends to be very healthy, even with extreme color changes.
Short Hair Traps
A cut that's too shaved at the nape looks masculine. Highlights can look spotty if cut comes after color, and skinny, discreet ones don't work as well as chunky, bold streaks do. Virgin color on a super-edgy cut can be boring -- unless it's gray. But a vibrant hair hue can act as a permanent accessory on short hair, according to color pro Brad Johns. (If you go for a bright hair color, tone down your makeup for day.)
Short Haircuts
Nicky Kunz, 53, has always had short hair; it's been gray since she stopped coloring it at 32. "I have a small face, and my features would just get lost in long hair. Every two weeks I buzz it myself, since no one else gets it right. My hair is dry, so I use leave-in moisturizers."
The Best Short Haircuts
The Cap: Shortest of all, and cropped like an adolescent boy or a Marine, this works best for very textured, tight curls and very coarse, wiry hair. Well-defined brows help, as do strong bone structure and a big dose of charisma.
Choppy: On everyone's most edgy list of "things to try someday," the ultra-short shag has a kind of rock-band/French gamine appeal. It's not for the shy. But it is perfect for those with wispy, fine hair that just goes limp when bluntly bobbed; it also suits wavy hair that has built-in body. What's key is to vary the length of some sections for an irregular look. Piece-y cuts of about 2 to 3 inches all over can be tucked behind your ear, tousled for more texture, or combed flat for a more classic look.
Bangs: Full, shaggy bangs or long, graduated bangs that can be swept to the side give short cuts the illusion of long hair that's been pulled back. If you have thin, overplucked, skimpy, or misshapen brows, short hair with long bangs gives you the extra definition you're missing. Bangs can also hide a low, small forehead. Keep them jagged, not Campbell's-Soup-kid straight, for sex appeal.
Short Hair Care
If you do one thing, use your hands and styling creams or pomades to break up the layers for a tousled, frizz-free look. Try Paul Mitchell Tea Tree Shaping Cream ($14); Kerastase Paris Lumiere Nutri-Sculpt Finishing Cream ($29).
Hide your dark or gray roots with a color-intensifying mask or shampoo that blurs regrowth and stretches the time between salon appointments. Try Goldwell Color Glow Treatment Be Blonde ($14) and Colorective Bloody Mary Shampoo ($34). Shortcuts for short cuts: try a creamy all-in-one shampoo, body wash, and conditioner, like Sephora Triple Layer Cake Hair & Body Wash ($15). Thermasilk Moisture-Infusing 2-in-1 Shampoo Plus Conditioner ($14) is perfect for shorties who shampoo daily.
If you have chemically straightened or color-treated hair, use a conditioning cream like Alberto VO5 Sheer Hairdressing ($6) every day, and a rich mask like Frederic Fekkai Technician Color Care Mask ($34) once a week.
Long Hair Pros and Cons
Lisa Berkley, 46, a longhair "lifer," gave up straightening her naturally curly hair. "I'm more bohemian than sophisticated -- we live on a farm, and I'm in jeans and tees when I'm not working. My daughter, Isabelle, is 8 and a mini-me. We love our curls loose and wild. I even enhance the curls on top with a curling iron to exaggerate the look! I give my hair even more focus with beachy highlights that mimic what the sun does."
Long Hair Suits You If...
Long hair can work for you if your hair is healthy and your cut contemporary. Unless you have a hairdresser on call, aim for a length somewhere between collarbone and cleavage. "Long hair needs to be kept healthy with regular trims and conditioning, plus yearly updates to evaluate length and cut," says Mitch Barry, whose long-haired clients include Bernadette Peters and Christie Brinkley.
Long Hair Pros
You needn't wash and style it every day. Long hair is a showcase for color (it doesn't have to look natural anymore). Oh -- and men think it's sexy.
Long Hair Traps
Too long can look weird if the proportions are wrong -- e.g., if you're a petite five-footer with a Rapunzel mane. Too big a color change can spell disaster unless you're willing to devote major time and money to maintenance. Long-hair accessories need careful editing -- especially headbands, glittery barrettes, and froufrou clips, which are as silly as microminis on a grown-up.
Long Haircuts
Except for one "disastrous" bob during pregnancy, Donna Bunte, 47, has had long hair all her life. "It makes me feel young and feminine, and my husband just adores it. It's layered now -- more contemporary looking -- but I can still pull it back when I want to."
The Best Long Haircuts
Layers: Cutting long, face-framing pieces into your hair is equivalent to wearing the hot jeans that make your legs look longer and slimmer. Layers have a softening effect that flatters your features and jawline.
Parts: A side part adds sophistication. Center parts work only if you have deep, full bangs or stick-straight hair. A slightly messy, off-center part works for everyone, and helps camouflage roots.
Fringe: Not only are bangs a Botox alternative, they also add instant style, dressing the face even when hair is pulled back into a lazy chignon or ponytail.
For fine hair: Grow it no longer than shoulder- or collarbone-length, or it will look skimpy. Thickening products or volumizers will add body at the roots; a protein shampoo can help build bulk. Try Bumble and Bumble Thickening Spray ($19).
Blown straight: Heat straightening is a hair-health hazard. Minimize damage with a deep 3-minute conditioner like Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine ($4) twice a week.
Monday, April 14, 2008
No stress taxes
People like to quip that the only two givens in life are death and taxes, and it goes without saying that stress is a big part of both. This is understandable, at least as far as taxes are concerned.
Fortunately, taxes don’t have to be a major source of stress. (Really!) Here are some steps you can take to minimize tax stress for now and the future:
Know What You’re Doing
If you understand the process, doing your taxes is much easier. There are even some online resources that can help make the whole process much easier.
Start Early
Don’t save doing your taxes until the last minute. That only multiplies the stress you’ll feel! Set yourself a deadline for getting things done that’s at least a week or two earlier than your actual deadline. Even if you’re using a C.P.A., try having your portion of the work prepared before your C.P.A. needs it. The sooner you get it done, the less time you spend with the thought of taxes occupying your mind.
Take Baby Steps
If your tax situation is complicated, it might be best to break up the job into smaller parts, and tackle a little bit each night over the course of a week rather than taking up a whole chunk of a weekend day. So, unless you’re the type who needs some serious pressure to stay motivated to reach a goal, I recommend that you set a schedule for yourself and work for either a set amount of time or tackle a specific part of the job each night until it’s done.
Make It Fun
You don’t need to be working in a ‘library’ environment; you can set a fun mood in your workspace and the job may be more enjoyable. Put on some nice music, put out some candles, prepare some snacks, and just do it. You’ll still be doing taxes, but it can be a more sensual, relaxed experience.
Reward Yourself:
Once you’ve completed what you need to do for your taxes, reward yourself for a job well done by doing something you enjoy, or trying something new.
.
Professional Help
Unless your tax situation is very simple, you might want to reduce the stress of taxes by using a C.P.A. to prepare your taxes. While this doesn’t completely eliminate the work you need to do, it does reduce stress by minimizing your workload, and it’s reassuring to have someone who knows exactly what they’re doing in charge of the process. Depending on your situation, the expense of going with a C.P.A. may be offset or completely eclipsed by the money you save in deductions they can recommend and you may have missed.
Minimizing Next Year’s Stress:
If you maintain an organized system for keeping track of your tax records as they accrue throughout the year, you can make next year’s tax preparation process much easier. You may even experience less stress throughout the year knowing how much easier you’ll be making things for yourself.
Fortunately, taxes don’t have to be a major source of stress. (Really!) Here are some steps you can take to minimize tax stress for now and the future:
Know What You’re Doing
If you understand the process, doing your taxes is much easier. There are even some online resources that can help make the whole process much easier.
Start Early
Don’t save doing your taxes until the last minute. That only multiplies the stress you’ll feel! Set yourself a deadline for getting things done that’s at least a week or two earlier than your actual deadline. Even if you’re using a C.P.A., try having your portion of the work prepared before your C.P.A. needs it. The sooner you get it done, the less time you spend with the thought of taxes occupying your mind.
Take Baby Steps
If your tax situation is complicated, it might be best to break up the job into smaller parts, and tackle a little bit each night over the course of a week rather than taking up a whole chunk of a weekend day. So, unless you’re the type who needs some serious pressure to stay motivated to reach a goal, I recommend that you set a schedule for yourself and work for either a set amount of time or tackle a specific part of the job each night until it’s done.
Make It Fun
You don’t need to be working in a ‘library’ environment; you can set a fun mood in your workspace and the job may be more enjoyable. Put on some nice music, put out some candles, prepare some snacks, and just do it. You’ll still be doing taxes, but it can be a more sensual, relaxed experience.
Reward Yourself:
Once you’ve completed what you need to do for your taxes, reward yourself for a job well done by doing something you enjoy, or trying something new.
.
Professional Help
Unless your tax situation is very simple, you might want to reduce the stress of taxes by using a C.P.A. to prepare your taxes. While this doesn’t completely eliminate the work you need to do, it does reduce stress by minimizing your workload, and it’s reassuring to have someone who knows exactly what they’re doing in charge of the process. Depending on your situation, the expense of going with a C.P.A. may be offset or completely eclipsed by the money you save in deductions they can recommend and you may have missed.
Minimizing Next Year’s Stress:
If you maintain an organized system for keeping track of your tax records as they accrue throughout the year, you can make next year’s tax preparation process much easier. You may even experience less stress throughout the year knowing how much easier you’ll be making things for yourself.
Get your extension
April 15 Filing Deadline Approaching; Filing Extension, Last-Minute Reminders Available
April 15 is the deadline for filing a federal tax return. But not everybody can meet that deadline. If you need more time to get your paperwork in, make sure you file a Form 4868, Automatic Extension of Time to File, with the IRS by the April 15 deadline and you'll get an automatic six-month extension of time to file. The extension gives you until Oct. 15 to file the tax return.
Remember, a delay in filing your tax return will also delay your receipt of your economic stimulus payment, if you qualify to receive one, since payments are based on the tax return.
Note that an extension of time to file is not an extension of time to pay. You should pay any taxes you owe by April 15; otherwise, the outstanding tax balance will accrue interest and possibly penalties, increasing the total amount you will owe. If you can't pay the full amount that you owe by April 15, pay as much as you can to minimize the interest and penalty charges.
With the deadline approaching, our last-minute reminders may be helpful.
And visit 1040 Central, your one-stop shop for all your tax information needs.
April 15 is the deadline for filing a federal tax return. But not everybody can meet that deadline. If you need more time to get your paperwork in, make sure you file a Form 4868, Automatic Extension of Time to File, with the IRS by the April 15 deadline and you'll get an automatic six-month extension of time to file. The extension gives you until Oct. 15 to file the tax return.
Remember, a delay in filing your tax return will also delay your receipt of your economic stimulus payment, if you qualify to receive one, since payments are based on the tax return.
Note that an extension of time to file is not an extension of time to pay. You should pay any taxes you owe by April 15; otherwise, the outstanding tax balance will accrue interest and possibly penalties, increasing the total amount you will owe. If you can't pay the full amount that you owe by April 15, pay as much as you can to minimize the interest and penalty charges.
With the deadline approaching, our last-minute reminders may be helpful.
And visit 1040 Central, your one-stop shop for all your tax information needs.
Tax Facts
Tax Cheaters
Thirteen percent of Americans believe cheating on income taxes is acceptable, down from 17% in
2003 according to an IRS survey. Who do you know that cheats on taxes?
1. A friend (53%) 3. A co-worker (15%)
2. A family member (25%)
__________________________________
Have You Filed Your Taxes Yet?
You have until midnight tomorrow night to file your income tax return for 2007, but according to a TD
Ameritrade survey, only 11% of Americans wait until the last day to do their taxes. The survey found
that the more Americans earn, the earlier they file. When we file our taxes:
· 40% file their taxes in March or early April.
· 25% file “right away.”
· 17% file in February.
· 11% file on April 15th.
· 7% file after the April 15th deadline.
Thirteen percent of Americans believe cheating on income taxes is acceptable, down from 17% in
2003 according to an IRS survey. Who do you know that cheats on taxes?
1. A friend (53%) 3. A co-worker (15%)
2. A family member (25%)
__________________________________
Have You Filed Your Taxes Yet?
You have until midnight tomorrow night to file your income tax return for 2007, but according to a TD
Ameritrade survey, only 11% of Americans wait until the last day to do their taxes. The survey found
that the more Americans earn, the earlier they file. When we file our taxes:
· 40% file their taxes in March or early April.
· 25% file “right away.”
· 17% file in February.
· 11% file on April 15th.
· 7% file after the April 15th deadline.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
