The Cover Hog
A spouse who unwittingly claims all blankets and sources of warmth for him -- or herself, not to mention the entire bed.
How to Deal: Try to wake your cover hog and he won't respond. Try to reclaim some covers and you're faced with her sudden super-human strength to hold tight. Don't be left out in the cold. Either make the bed with three blankets (one shared and one for each of you) or switch positions. If the offender always rolls to the left with the goods, that's where you need to sleep, so the hoglet doesn't pull the blanket out from under you.
The Night Owl
A TV-watching, book reading, lights-on menace to your sleep. He or she has been known to putter around the house making too much noise.
How to Deal: It's hard to keep a bird from flying, but this one needs limits. Once you close your eyes, your owl should be allowed to read or watch the tube for a limited time frame. Then it's really time for sleep. Any outside-the-bedroom activities must be kept to a minimum and the vacated side of the bed must be filled with supportive pillows that at least mimic a warm body.
The Hyena
A mate who won't shut up … even during REM sleep. It's bothersome on numerous levels -- most of all because you wind up looking like a jerk for complaining that you didn't get any shuteye.
How to Deal: Slipping the hyena a sleeping pill is not an option (though we admit, we're often tempted). Gently nudging the hyena is allowed, as it can rouse the humming, wheezing, jabbering animal for temporary relief. For more aid, try earplugs or a white noise machine. Hey, it's that or the couch.
The Octopus
A hands-on touchy feeler who invades the coveted bed-space of their innocent, unsuspecting mate.
How to Deal: Sometimes a cuddle is just that. Your mate needs affection and you should provide it. But it doesn't have to last forever. Even if you require your space, start the night off with five minutes of close hugs, a massage, or a little hand-holding. The prize: The other person falls asleep and eventually you can roll them over and reclaim your space again, you champion, you.
The Stink Bug
This partner finds great joy in creating smelly situations under the covers (more often the male). The victim is often unaware and tricked into bed.
How to Deal: Have a good laugh and then grow up. Unless there's a medical issue behind the rumblings (or a spicy meal), ask that all gas be passed before entering the bedroom and an effort be made to send the blast to the other side of the room. Keep air freshener handy.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Mirror health behavior
Husband see, husband do, and vice versa, a study has found. Researchers say that if one spouse adopts a new health behavior, the other is likely to do the same. So if one spouse exercises, quits smoking or drinking, or gets a flu shot, the other spouse is likely to follow suit.
The changes in the health habits were most noticeable when it came to smoking and drinking. Smokers were 5 times more likely to quit smoking if their spouse quit. Drinkers were also 5 times more likely to quit drinking alcohol if their partner didn't drink.
Keep in mind the opposite is also true. A spouse can mirror destructive behaviors as well.
The changes in the health habits were most noticeable when it came to smoking and drinking. Smokers were 5 times more likely to quit smoking if their spouse quit. Drinkers were also 5 times more likely to quit drinking alcohol if their partner didn't drink.
Keep in mind the opposite is also true. A spouse can mirror destructive behaviors as well.
6 Marriage Myths
6 surprising marriage myths
Dale Atkins shares smart, practical advice on separating fact from fiction
By Dr. Dale Atkins
For most people, the picture of a perfect marriage is a white picket fence and eternal happiness. But just how to achieve that bliss is subject to wide debate: Do babies really bring you closer? Should you be concerned if you’re not having much sex? How much should you tell your spouse? Psychologist Dale Atkins, author of “Sanity Savers,” helps separate the marriage myths from reality.
Your spouse is your best friend
If you think this way, you'll be in for a big disappointment. Over the years, you definitely develop an amazing friendship with the person you are married to. But it doesn't necessarily start off that way. You develop that respect because you have your own life and your own interests and you support each other through illness, bad times, and death. That is what the basis of the friendship is about.
A best friend is someone you go to the movies with, that you have a lot in common with. But you need someone who you can go through life with, depending and relying on — and that takes time. And you may not tell your spouse everything, but it doesn't mean you are not close.
Don't go to bed angry
When you are lying next to someone and you are seething anger, it's not good. The best thing is to table things so you don't feel like you want to murder the person sleeping next to you. Remind yourself of all the positive things about this person and hopefully you will have a fresh eye in the morning. If you are that angry with somebody, you might not hear what they are saying anyway. It becomes unproductive.
Is there a problem if one of you sleeps on the couch? Well, it might be a problem if one of you doesn't! As long as you are not running away, then you are all right. But if you need time to think, that's one thing. If it becomes weeks at a time, it's a problem.
Don’t worry if you don't have sex
On the one hand, people are so busy, that sex becomes something else you have to do. But it should be a way to unwind, to be playful together. It doesn't have to be a whole romantic evening, it can be a quickie. The myth is that you are going to want to have sex every night, and that is just not what happens.
People are different, and marriages — good marriages — are based on lots of different factors Some people have really good marriages and make love a lot, and some make less. Most people who have really good marriages make love. They do it in ways that are important to each of them. So if you are not having sex, it is something to examine.
The balance definitely changes as you get older. But you have to be careful that you are getting what you need. You don't want to get into a boring pattern where you are no longer interested in your mate or want to share your life with them.
Babies bring you closer
Babies can bring you closer in many ways. But it's so hard on the body and the mind and the emotions — people are exhausted, and constantly questioning whether they are doing it right Usually the woman feels she is doing way more than her share and is very resentful and disappointed in her partner, but most of it initially is hormones. A woman's body goes nuts. There are wonderful moments of parenting children together, but it's important to maintain and really nurture your marriage when you have new children in it.
Most people put most of their energy into their kids. If you can afford child care, get someone to baby-sit and go out to dinner. Or rent a movie and cuddle up together — don't go on your respective BlackBerries. For some people, nighttime is the only time they have to do laundry or clean the house. But try to take an hour, and be sure to focus on talking about something other than the baby.
Don’t fight in front of the kids
It all depends on how you define "fight." It can be very frightening to observe parents going at it. You have to be civil with each other. But if you fight fair, you can be teaching your children how to have a disagreement respectfully. Most people don't fight fair; they call each other names, they diminish each other. And most children don't know what to do and they mimic it. If you know how to fight and can fight fair, then very often you then have to make up in front of the kids as well. Let them see that this is a process — so they see how mom and dad get along.
You have a responsibility as a parent to teach your children how to interact with other people in difficult times and good times. We spend a lot of time teaching them please and thank you, but we don't give them any lesson at all about how you fight, disagree, how you can agree to disagree, because generally we all get too hot-headed.
If you learn how to fight civilly, I would say you'll fight less. You will learn how to come to solutions rather than fight.
Don’t take your spouse for granted
If you can't rely on them, who can you rely on? Of course, don't treat them like an old shoe. That is really very important when you build trust in a relationship, that you can rely on the person but you don't take advantage of their love and their commitment. You still consider them and treat them very specially.
You want to feel secure in your relationship but at the same time, you have to show them how much you count on them and rely on them. Nobody wants to be taken for granted — everyone wants to be appreciated. You have to let the person know they are appreciated. Don't assume they know you appreciate them — even if you say "Thank you" or "I don't know how to do it without you." Let them know they are the person you want to be with, and you have to remind yourself why you are with them. Remove yourself from seeing the dirty T-shirts ... the weight gain ... sometimes it's hard to focus on what's positive and remind yourself what a great person they are.
Dale Atkins shares smart, practical advice on separating fact from fiction
By Dr. Dale Atkins
For most people, the picture of a perfect marriage is a white picket fence and eternal happiness. But just how to achieve that bliss is subject to wide debate: Do babies really bring you closer? Should you be concerned if you’re not having much sex? How much should you tell your spouse? Psychologist Dale Atkins, author of “Sanity Savers,” helps separate the marriage myths from reality.
Your spouse is your best friend
If you think this way, you'll be in for a big disappointment. Over the years, you definitely develop an amazing friendship with the person you are married to. But it doesn't necessarily start off that way. You develop that respect because you have your own life and your own interests and you support each other through illness, bad times, and death. That is what the basis of the friendship is about.
A best friend is someone you go to the movies with, that you have a lot in common with. But you need someone who you can go through life with, depending and relying on — and that takes time. And you may not tell your spouse everything, but it doesn't mean you are not close.
Don't go to bed angry
When you are lying next to someone and you are seething anger, it's not good. The best thing is to table things so you don't feel like you want to murder the person sleeping next to you. Remind yourself of all the positive things about this person and hopefully you will have a fresh eye in the morning. If you are that angry with somebody, you might not hear what they are saying anyway. It becomes unproductive.
Is there a problem if one of you sleeps on the couch? Well, it might be a problem if one of you doesn't! As long as you are not running away, then you are all right. But if you need time to think, that's one thing. If it becomes weeks at a time, it's a problem.
Don’t worry if you don't have sex
On the one hand, people are so busy, that sex becomes something else you have to do. But it should be a way to unwind, to be playful together. It doesn't have to be a whole romantic evening, it can be a quickie. The myth is that you are going to want to have sex every night, and that is just not what happens.
People are different, and marriages — good marriages — are based on lots of different factors Some people have really good marriages and make love a lot, and some make less. Most people who have really good marriages make love. They do it in ways that are important to each of them. So if you are not having sex, it is something to examine.
The balance definitely changes as you get older. But you have to be careful that you are getting what you need. You don't want to get into a boring pattern where you are no longer interested in your mate or want to share your life with them.
Babies bring you closer
Babies can bring you closer in many ways. But it's so hard on the body and the mind and the emotions — people are exhausted, and constantly questioning whether they are doing it right Usually the woman feels she is doing way more than her share and is very resentful and disappointed in her partner, but most of it initially is hormones. A woman's body goes nuts. There are wonderful moments of parenting children together, but it's important to maintain and really nurture your marriage when you have new children in it.
Most people put most of their energy into their kids. If you can afford child care, get someone to baby-sit and go out to dinner. Or rent a movie and cuddle up together — don't go on your respective BlackBerries. For some people, nighttime is the only time they have to do laundry or clean the house. But try to take an hour, and be sure to focus on talking about something other than the baby.
Don’t fight in front of the kids
It all depends on how you define "fight." It can be very frightening to observe parents going at it. You have to be civil with each other. But if you fight fair, you can be teaching your children how to have a disagreement respectfully. Most people don't fight fair; they call each other names, they diminish each other. And most children don't know what to do and they mimic it. If you know how to fight and can fight fair, then very often you then have to make up in front of the kids as well. Let them see that this is a process — so they see how mom and dad get along.
You have a responsibility as a parent to teach your children how to interact with other people in difficult times and good times. We spend a lot of time teaching them please and thank you, but we don't give them any lesson at all about how you fight, disagree, how you can agree to disagree, because generally we all get too hot-headed.
If you learn how to fight civilly, I would say you'll fight less. You will learn how to come to solutions rather than fight.
Don’t take your spouse for granted
If you can't rely on them, who can you rely on? Of course, don't treat them like an old shoe. That is really very important when you build trust in a relationship, that you can rely on the person but you don't take advantage of their love and their commitment. You still consider them and treat them very specially.
You want to feel secure in your relationship but at the same time, you have to show them how much you count on them and rely on them. Nobody wants to be taken for granted — everyone wants to be appreciated. You have to let the person know they are appreciated. Don't assume they know you appreciate them — even if you say "Thank you" or "I don't know how to do it without you." Let them know they are the person you want to be with, and you have to remind yourself why you are with them. Remove yourself from seeing the dirty T-shirts ... the weight gain ... sometimes it's hard to focus on what's positive and remind yourself what a great person they are.
More than pillow talk
5 important talking rules for couples
Relationship expert Ian Kerner on communicating better with your partner
By Ian Kerner
Successful relationships need to always be moving forward — and positive communication is the fuel that keeps them going. Ian Kerner, author and relationship counselor, shares common communication mistakes that could leave your relationship running on empty:
Confronting instead of communicating
In any long-term relationship, it’s easy to get stuck in a negative pattern of confrontation, but this isn’t just a relationship issue, it’s a health issue. Confrontation naturally triggers the brain’s “fight or flight” response, and most men respond by fighting, which raises heart rate, increases blood pressure and plays a role in chronic stress and heart disease. In women, the opposite reaction, flight, can be just as harmful: This self-silencing and bottling-up of emotions leads to stress, anxiety, depression and a cascade of unhealthy behaviors. Our “fight or flight” responses are naturally hard-wired into our brains, and often hijack our emotions before we have a chance to communicate rationally and lovingly.
So next time you find yourself wanting to fight or take flight, instead just take a deep breath, and let those gut responses pass through. Then start talking.
Coaching instead of cheering
From dealing with money to managing a household to keeping a family running, it’s all too easy to get stuck in a pattern of “coaching” each other, when what we really need is a little praise from our partner. Too often, we feel like it’s us against the world, and knowing our partner is on our team and believes in us can make all the difference. No one’s telling you to pick up a pair of pom-poms, but if your face is constantly scrunched up like an umpire’s, it’s time to introduce some praise into the game. Praise is mutually beneficial. The receiver feels acknowledged and supported and the giver feels connected and empathetic. A little bit of praise can quickly change your relationship outlook from negative to positive. So go find one thing about your partner that you can praise.
Saying too much
When it comes to communicating, sometimes you need to know when not to talk. This is especially true when your impulse is to say something negative to your partner. Research shows that the difference between those relationships that succeed and those that fail is the ability of a couple to stay in the 5-to-1 zone: five positive interactions to every negative one. Of course you can’t go through life tallying every interaction, but you absolutely can know whether you’re fundamentally in positive or negative territory and start swinging the pendulum back to where it belongs.
Saying too little
At the end of the day, it’s easy to feel that communication is a chore, that talking to your partner is boring or routine and that there’s nothing new under the sun to possibly talk about. When you’re feeling this way (when you’re nodding and half-listening and have no real interest in how your partner’s day went), you’re in serious danger of getting too detached and disconnected, and becoming vulnerable to things like infidelity, depression and indifference.
If you feel like communicating with your partner is boring or uninteresting, then this is a time to create new things to talk about. Try to do at least one new thing together. Use this new connection to set the foundation for a process of relationship renewal and expansion. That sense of novelty drives dopamine activity, which plays a key role in both desire and pleasure but also enables us to idealize the qualities in our partner we find most appealing. At the start of a relationship, dopamine activity enables us to see our mate with a “rose-colored tint” that filters out the negative. (How often do those quirky habits and eccentricities that we first adored in our partner eventually become the very things that annoy us?)
By re-investing our relationship with a sense of newness, however, we trigger that dopamine rush that allows us to surf on a hormonal wave of good feeling. And finding ways to remain focused on the positive without getting too bent out of shape about those irritating little things we once adored is critical to ongoing relationship success.
Talking when you should be touching
There’s more to communication than just using your mouth. Sometimes a simple touch takes us where words cannot go. Studies show that even a 20-second hug raises oxytocin levels in both men and women — oxytocin is the “cuddle hormone” — it helps us to feel calm and connected to our partner. According to the New Scientist, “Oxytocin also boosts trust, which is an important step in developing a loving relationship.” British scientist Andreas Meyer-Lindenberg and his team at the National Institute of Mental Health found that oxytocin release “reduced activity in the amygdala, a part of the brain that signals fear, and therefore helped them to bond to another person.”
So when words fail you, go for that 20-second hug. It may be just the fuel you need to fill up your tank for the relationship-road ahead.
Relationship expert Ian Kerner on communicating better with your partner
By Ian Kerner
Successful relationships need to always be moving forward — and positive communication is the fuel that keeps them going. Ian Kerner, author and relationship counselor, shares common communication mistakes that could leave your relationship running on empty:
Confronting instead of communicating
In any long-term relationship, it’s easy to get stuck in a negative pattern of confrontation, but this isn’t just a relationship issue, it’s a health issue. Confrontation naturally triggers the brain’s “fight or flight” response, and most men respond by fighting, which raises heart rate, increases blood pressure and plays a role in chronic stress and heart disease. In women, the opposite reaction, flight, can be just as harmful: This self-silencing and bottling-up of emotions leads to stress, anxiety, depression and a cascade of unhealthy behaviors. Our “fight or flight” responses are naturally hard-wired into our brains, and often hijack our emotions before we have a chance to communicate rationally and lovingly.
So next time you find yourself wanting to fight or take flight, instead just take a deep breath, and let those gut responses pass through. Then start talking.
Coaching instead of cheering
From dealing with money to managing a household to keeping a family running, it’s all too easy to get stuck in a pattern of “coaching” each other, when what we really need is a little praise from our partner. Too often, we feel like it’s us against the world, and knowing our partner is on our team and believes in us can make all the difference. No one’s telling you to pick up a pair of pom-poms, but if your face is constantly scrunched up like an umpire’s, it’s time to introduce some praise into the game. Praise is mutually beneficial. The receiver feels acknowledged and supported and the giver feels connected and empathetic. A little bit of praise can quickly change your relationship outlook from negative to positive. So go find one thing about your partner that you can praise.
Saying too much
When it comes to communicating, sometimes you need to know when not to talk. This is especially true when your impulse is to say something negative to your partner. Research shows that the difference between those relationships that succeed and those that fail is the ability of a couple to stay in the 5-to-1 zone: five positive interactions to every negative one. Of course you can’t go through life tallying every interaction, but you absolutely can know whether you’re fundamentally in positive or negative territory and start swinging the pendulum back to where it belongs.
Saying too little
At the end of the day, it’s easy to feel that communication is a chore, that talking to your partner is boring or routine and that there’s nothing new under the sun to possibly talk about. When you’re feeling this way (when you’re nodding and half-listening and have no real interest in how your partner’s day went), you’re in serious danger of getting too detached and disconnected, and becoming vulnerable to things like infidelity, depression and indifference.
If you feel like communicating with your partner is boring or uninteresting, then this is a time to create new things to talk about. Try to do at least one new thing together. Use this new connection to set the foundation for a process of relationship renewal and expansion. That sense of novelty drives dopamine activity, which plays a key role in both desire and pleasure but also enables us to idealize the qualities in our partner we find most appealing. At the start of a relationship, dopamine activity enables us to see our mate with a “rose-colored tint” that filters out the negative. (How often do those quirky habits and eccentricities that we first adored in our partner eventually become the very things that annoy us?)
By re-investing our relationship with a sense of newness, however, we trigger that dopamine rush that allows us to surf on a hormonal wave of good feeling. And finding ways to remain focused on the positive without getting too bent out of shape about those irritating little things we once adored is critical to ongoing relationship success.
Talking when you should be touching
There’s more to communication than just using your mouth. Sometimes a simple touch takes us where words cannot go. Studies show that even a 20-second hug raises oxytocin levels in both men and women — oxytocin is the “cuddle hormone” — it helps us to feel calm and connected to our partner. According to the New Scientist, “Oxytocin also boosts trust, which is an important step in developing a loving relationship.” British scientist Andreas Meyer-Lindenberg and his team at the National Institute of Mental Health found that oxytocin release “reduced activity in the amygdala, a part of the brain that signals fear, and therefore helped them to bond to another person.”
So when words fail you, go for that 20-second hug. It may be just the fuel you need to fill up your tank for the relationship-road ahead.
Women sleep better alone
How'd you sleep last night?
Many men seem to be looking for that special someone to share their life with... someone to do those couple-like things with, like cuddling on the couch, walking in the park and spooning in bed until you both fall asleep.
But how's all this spooning in bed affecting your quality of sleep? A recent study published in the journal Sleep and Biological Rhythms found that men actually sleep more soundly than women when they share a bed with their partner. Women are having rougher nights mostly because men are more likely to be snorers, which is causing 23%of American couples to sleep in separate sacks.
Researchers also suggest that women might be lighter sleepers due to their historic roles in caring for infants.
Many men seem to be looking for that special someone to share their life with... someone to do those couple-like things with, like cuddling on the couch, walking in the park and spooning in bed until you both fall asleep.
But how's all this spooning in bed affecting your quality of sleep? A recent study published in the journal Sleep and Biological Rhythms found that men actually sleep more soundly than women when they share a bed with their partner. Women are having rougher nights mostly because men are more likely to be snorers, which is causing 23%of American couples to sleep in separate sacks.
Researchers also suggest that women might be lighter sleepers due to their historic roles in caring for infants.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Wedding bells for me!
I want to share some romantic news with you. Last Friday my sweetheart, Howard told me to "pack a bag"....I had no idea where we were going. But eventually I found myself at a romantic restaurant in the Keys having a intimate dinner with the love of my life. Then...it was off to our secret romantic hideaway where he proposed!!!
That's right, we're getting married. I can't stop smiling. We are thinking about an October wedding. So, if you have any advice for me please respond to my blog. We have a lot of planning to do.
Am I too old to wear white? : )
That's right, we're getting married. I can't stop smiling. We are thinking about an October wedding. So, if you have any advice for me please respond to my blog. We have a lot of planning to do.
Am I too old to wear white? : )
Get organized
Looking down your list of New Year's resolutions, you're bound to come across 'Get better organized.' The Web has a few ingenious -- and free -- programs ready to help bring order to your daily life.
> Gather items you plan to store. Sort by decorations, wrapping paper, bows, holiday dishes, towels, cards, etc.
> Determine what you will and won't want to use next year. Put all items that will be discarded in a box. Then decide whether they can be given to a nonprofit or sold at a garage sale. If you have decorations that your children will be taking, now's the time to send them on their way. Discard broken decorations or items that can't be recycled.
> Determine a place to store holiday decorations. If the amount of stuff exceeds the amount of space, it's time to make a decision. Are you willing to expand the storage space for the holiday items? If not, it might be time to cut back even more on what you have.
> Decide what storage containers to use. First choice is to reuse the containers or packages the items came in. If not, ask the following questions: Do you prefer clear containers so you can easily see what is in the container or do you prefer the season-colored containers? Which is best for your storage situation? What size containers will fit in your storage area? What type of labels are best to list the items on the outside of the container? Yes, each container needs to be labeled with a list of contents. Perhaps its time to purchase a label maker to make the task more fun.
> Buy storage containers for specific items. There are special containers for bulbs, trees, wreaths, lighting, wrapping paper, dishes and almost anything else you have. But remember to sort and purge before you buy any new containers.
> Study your storage space. Decide if you need shelves or if existing shelves should be readjusted. Shelves with wheels allow you to easily move items.
> Pack the containers and put them away. Like things go into the same container, and don't forget the label so you know what is in each container. Store heavy boxes on the bottom and lighter items on the top shelves.
Click here for more tips.
> Gather items you plan to store. Sort by decorations, wrapping paper, bows, holiday dishes, towels, cards, etc.
> Determine what you will and won't want to use next year. Put all items that will be discarded in a box. Then decide whether they can be given to a nonprofit or sold at a garage sale. If you have decorations that your children will be taking, now's the time to send them on their way. Discard broken decorations or items that can't be recycled.
> Determine a place to store holiday decorations. If the amount of stuff exceeds the amount of space, it's time to make a decision. Are you willing to expand the storage space for the holiday items? If not, it might be time to cut back even more on what you have.
> Decide what storage containers to use. First choice is to reuse the containers or packages the items came in. If not, ask the following questions: Do you prefer clear containers so you can easily see what is in the container or do you prefer the season-colored containers? Which is best for your storage situation? What size containers will fit in your storage area? What type of labels are best to list the items on the outside of the container? Yes, each container needs to be labeled with a list of contents. Perhaps its time to purchase a label maker to make the task more fun.
> Buy storage containers for specific items. There are special containers for bulbs, trees, wreaths, lighting, wrapping paper, dishes and almost anything else you have. But remember to sort and purge before you buy any new containers.
> Study your storage space. Decide if you need shelves or if existing shelves should be readjusted. Shelves with wheels allow you to easily move items.
> Pack the containers and put them away. Like things go into the same container, and don't forget the label so you know what is in each container. Store heavy boxes on the bottom and lighter items on the top shelves.
Click here for more tips.
Vacation ills
It may not be the eggnog, the endless holiday music or even the pounds of sugar cookies that are making you ill. It may be the same thing that seems to set you back when you finally head for a weekend of winter sports or jet off for a week on the beach: You're off work.
Ad Vingerhoets, an associate professor of clinical health psychology at Tilburg University in the Netherlands, calls it "leisure sickness." Just when you take a break from your busy schedule to enjoy a little relaxation, your leisure time becomes anything but — full of aches and pains, cold- and flulike symptoms and other health complaints.
Bummer. Read the whole story.
Ad Vingerhoets, an associate professor of clinical health psychology at Tilburg University in the Netherlands, calls it "leisure sickness." Just when you take a break from your busy schedule to enjoy a little relaxation, your leisure time becomes anything but — full of aches and pains, cold- and flulike symptoms and other health complaints.
Bummer. Read the whole story.
Monday, December 31, 2007
"Auld Lang Syne" lyrics
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld lang syne? And days of auld lang syne, my dear,
And days of auld lang syne.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld lang syne?
We twa hae run aboot the braes
And pu'd the gowans fine.
We've wandered mony a weary foot,
Sin' auld lang syne.
Sin' auld lang syne, my dear,
Sin' auld lang syne,
We've wandered mony a weary foot,
Sin' auld ang syne.
We twa hae sported i' the burn,
From morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roared
Sin' auld lang syne.
Sin' auld lang syne, my dear,
Sin' auld lang syne.
But seas between us braid hae roared
Sin' auld lang syne.
And ther's a hand, my trusty friend,
And gie's a hand o' thine;
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld lang syne? And days of auld lang syne, my dear,
And days of auld lang syne.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld lang syne?
We twa hae run aboot the braes
And pu'd the gowans fine.
We've wandered mony a weary foot,
Sin' auld lang syne.
Sin' auld lang syne, my dear,
Sin' auld lang syne,
We've wandered mony a weary foot,
Sin' auld ang syne.
We twa hae sported i' the burn,
From morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roared
Sin' auld lang syne.
Sin' auld lang syne, my dear,
Sin' auld lang syne.
But seas between us braid hae roared
Sin' auld lang syne.
And ther's a hand, my trusty friend,
And gie's a hand o' thine;
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
New Years Eve parties
New Year's Eve is almost here, and as always Miami and South Florida have some of the hottest party tickets in town, it just depends on how much money you're willing to dish out.
MIAMI-DADE:
Bayfront Park New Year's Eve, Downtown Miami:
Dubbed the largest free party in South Florida, Bayfront Park in Downtown Miami is hosting free party with the salsa band Grammy Award Winning "Conjunto Progresso" with the Cuban Son. Also performing are South Florida favorites Iko-Iko, and Betty Padgett & Elements of Funk. Gates open at 7p.m. and a fireworks show on Biscayne Bay will top the festivities at midnight.
The Cameo, South Beach:
Actor Chace Crawford will be making a special appearance at this bastion of Miami Beach nightlife; there will be plenty of dancing involved, and VIP tables available.
The 5th, South Beach:
Gerry Kelly and friends invite you to a night of dancing with DJ Victor Calderone. For more info: www.thefifth.com
Lewis Black, The Fillmore, Miami Beach:
If you're looking for comedy in South Beach, you can check out Lewis Black at the Fillmore Miami Beach, Jackie Gleason Theater. 9.p.m. Click Here For More Info.
Venetian Carnival, Touch Restaurant, South Beach:
Touch Restaurant on Lincoln Road is hosting a "New Year's Without Grief". Starting at 7p.m. The entertainment promises to be as extravagant as the food, with models and performers thematically dressed, interacting with guests, live musicians and sexy dancers through the venue, plus a DJ. 910 Lincoln Road, (305) 532-8003.
Mansion Nightclub, Miami Beach:
If you have the spare $200 and the inkling to party as a VIP, you can do it with December Playboy cover girl Kim Kardashian. If you want to be an ultra-VIP, $6,000 will get you an 8 person VIP table in front of the stage. Tickets: www.theopiumgroup.com or 305-531-5535
Privé, NYE Hosted by Nick Cannon, Miami Beach:
The SOBE club known for its VIP's and visiting celebrities will throw a party hosted by Nick Cannon. This party will cost you a pretty penny, and you will have to reserve in advance: www.theopiumgroup.com
King Mango Strut Parade, Coconut Grove:
If you're boss is being a meanie and not giving you the holiday off, you can celebrate early by laughing it off at Coconut Grove's King Mango Strut Parade on Sunday, December 30th. This year's grand marshals are the Chongalicious Girls made famous by their YouTube video. 2-5P.M. Starts at Commodore Plaza and Main Highway. A pre-show starts at noon.
Space Miami, Downtown Miami:
The world famous nightclub is having a Casino Royale themed party, lasting 24-hours. Music by Space's staple DJ's Oscar G. and Ivanno Bellini, among others. Doors open at 9p.m. www.clubspace.com
Spam Allstars at Studio A, Downtown Miami:
If you're looking for a real Miami musical treat, this is the place, DJ Spam and the Spam Allstars will be playing at Studio A. Also idie band Awesome New Republic and ArtOfficial will be performing. The price tag won't hurt your pocket: $15 in advance, $20 at the door. 60 NE 11th Street, Miami. www.studioamiami.com
BROWARD:
Downtown Countdown, Ft. Lauderdale:
The City of Ft. Lauderdale has their free celebration in the Downtown area, along SW 2nd Street, between SW 2nd Avenue and 4th Avenue. The celebration will have activities for the whole family including an "early countdown" for children at 7 p.m. when the ball will be lit. Live musical acts start at 9.p.m. and continue till 3 a.m. A lit ball drop and fireworks will mark the New Year. For more information, call the event hotline at 954-828-5363.
Ocean Dance Hollywood Beach, South of Johnson Street:
The annual OceanDance features Wylliams/Henry Danse Theatre of Kansas City, Mo. Performing at 9:30 p.m., followed by a laser light show simulating fireworks. General admission is free. Fore VIP information call 954-921-3274, www.artandculturecenter.org
Blue Martini, Ft. Lauderdale:
The party features live music. You can reserve a table on the patio, or get VIP seating , including complimentary dinner buffet and champagne at midnight. Doors open at 8p.m. 2432 E. Sunrise Blvd., No. 1008, Fort Lauderdale, 954-653-2583
Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Hollywood:
You can go cheap or start with empty pockets for the New Year with all the variety the Seminole entertainment complex offers. From a dinner with live music or you can simply buy yourself a spot on the dance floor, and later enjoy the fireworks over their lake. Seminole Paradise, 1 Seminole Way (off U.S. 441 north of Stirling Road), near Hollywood. For info call: 954-583-8335.
Comedian Robert Schimmel, Ft. Lauderdale:
This American Comedy Awards Best Stand-Up Male Comic will make you laugh at the Parker Playhouse. NE Eighth St., Fort Lauderdale; 954-462-0222 or www.parkerplayhouse.com
Isle Casino & Racing at Pompano Park, Pompano Beach:
The Ruby Baker Band performs at the Fling Bar, and there will be a balloon drop, party favors and a New Year's sweepstakes. No cover. 9p.m.-1a.m. 777 Isle of Capri Circle, Pompano Beach 954-972-2000.
Rosey Baby, Lauderhill:
This New Orleans-style restaurant is also celebrating its 18th anniversary. The Joe Friday Band will perform at 9p.m. They offer reserved and non-reserved seating to eat. Includes midnight champagne toast. 4587 N. University Drive, Lauderhill: 954-749-5627
Scandals Saloon, Wilton Manors:
If you like country and you're gay or gay friendly, this is the place to go. No cover, cash prize and a balloon drop. 9 a.m.-3 a.m. 3073 NE Sixth Ave, 954- 567-2432.
Seminole Casino, Coconut Creek:
You can enjoy dinner at the Sunset Grill or buffet at Fresh Harvest for $29.95. After midnight, Nectar Lounge offers a party with entertainment by Alisha, the Cover Girls and C&C Music Factory. No cover. 954- 977-6700.
MIAMI-DADE:
Bayfront Park New Year's Eve, Downtown Miami:
Dubbed the largest free party in South Florida, Bayfront Park in Downtown Miami is hosting free party with the salsa band Grammy Award Winning "Conjunto Progresso" with the Cuban Son. Also performing are South Florida favorites Iko-Iko, and Betty Padgett & Elements of Funk. Gates open at 7p.m. and a fireworks show on Biscayne Bay will top the festivities at midnight.
The Cameo, South Beach:
Actor Chace Crawford will be making a special appearance at this bastion of Miami Beach nightlife; there will be plenty of dancing involved, and VIP tables available.
The 5th, South Beach:
Gerry Kelly and friends invite you to a night of dancing with DJ Victor Calderone. For more info: www.thefifth.com
Lewis Black, The Fillmore, Miami Beach:
If you're looking for comedy in South Beach, you can check out Lewis Black at the Fillmore Miami Beach, Jackie Gleason Theater. 9.p.m. Click Here For More Info.
Venetian Carnival, Touch Restaurant, South Beach:
Touch Restaurant on Lincoln Road is hosting a "New Year's Without Grief". Starting at 7p.m. The entertainment promises to be as extravagant as the food, with models and performers thematically dressed, interacting with guests, live musicians and sexy dancers through the venue, plus a DJ. 910 Lincoln Road, (305) 532-8003.
Mansion Nightclub, Miami Beach:
If you have the spare $200 and the inkling to party as a VIP, you can do it with December Playboy cover girl Kim Kardashian. If you want to be an ultra-VIP, $6,000 will get you an 8 person VIP table in front of the stage. Tickets: www.theopiumgroup.com or 305-531-5535
Privé, NYE Hosted by Nick Cannon, Miami Beach:
The SOBE club known for its VIP's and visiting celebrities will throw a party hosted by Nick Cannon. This party will cost you a pretty penny, and you will have to reserve in advance: www.theopiumgroup.com
King Mango Strut Parade, Coconut Grove:
If you're boss is being a meanie and not giving you the holiday off, you can celebrate early by laughing it off at Coconut Grove's King Mango Strut Parade on Sunday, December 30th. This year's grand marshals are the Chongalicious Girls made famous by their YouTube video. 2-5P.M. Starts at Commodore Plaza and Main Highway. A pre-show starts at noon.
Space Miami, Downtown Miami:
The world famous nightclub is having a Casino Royale themed party, lasting 24-hours. Music by Space's staple DJ's Oscar G. and Ivanno Bellini, among others. Doors open at 9p.m. www.clubspace.com
Spam Allstars at Studio A, Downtown Miami:
If you're looking for a real Miami musical treat, this is the place, DJ Spam and the Spam Allstars will be playing at Studio A. Also idie band Awesome New Republic and ArtOfficial will be performing. The price tag won't hurt your pocket: $15 in advance, $20 at the door. 60 NE 11th Street, Miami. www.studioamiami.com
BROWARD:
Downtown Countdown, Ft. Lauderdale:
The City of Ft. Lauderdale has their free celebration in the Downtown area, along SW 2nd Street, between SW 2nd Avenue and 4th Avenue. The celebration will have activities for the whole family including an "early countdown" for children at 7 p.m. when the ball will be lit. Live musical acts start at 9.p.m. and continue till 3 a.m. A lit ball drop and fireworks will mark the New Year. For more information, call the event hotline at 954-828-5363.
Ocean Dance Hollywood Beach, South of Johnson Street:
The annual OceanDance features Wylliams/Henry Danse Theatre of Kansas City, Mo. Performing at 9:30 p.m., followed by a laser light show simulating fireworks. General admission is free. Fore VIP information call 954-921-3274, www.artandculturecenter.org
Blue Martini, Ft. Lauderdale:
The party features live music. You can reserve a table on the patio, or get VIP seating , including complimentary dinner buffet and champagne at midnight. Doors open at 8p.m. 2432 E. Sunrise Blvd., No. 1008, Fort Lauderdale, 954-653-2583
Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Hollywood:
You can go cheap or start with empty pockets for the New Year with all the variety the Seminole entertainment complex offers. From a dinner with live music or you can simply buy yourself a spot on the dance floor, and later enjoy the fireworks over their lake. Seminole Paradise, 1 Seminole Way (off U.S. 441 north of Stirling Road), near Hollywood. For info call: 954-583-8335.
Comedian Robert Schimmel, Ft. Lauderdale:
This American Comedy Awards Best Stand-Up Male Comic will make you laugh at the Parker Playhouse. NE Eighth St., Fort Lauderdale; 954-462-0222 or www.parkerplayhouse.com
Isle Casino & Racing at Pompano Park, Pompano Beach:
The Ruby Baker Band performs at the Fling Bar, and there will be a balloon drop, party favors and a New Year's sweepstakes. No cover. 9p.m.-1a.m. 777 Isle of Capri Circle, Pompano Beach 954-972-2000.
Rosey Baby, Lauderhill:
This New Orleans-style restaurant is also celebrating its 18th anniversary. The Joe Friday Band will perform at 9p.m. They offer reserved and non-reserved seating to eat. Includes midnight champagne toast. 4587 N. University Drive, Lauderhill: 954-749-5627
Scandals Saloon, Wilton Manors:
If you like country and you're gay or gay friendly, this is the place to go. No cover, cash prize and a balloon drop. 9 a.m.-3 a.m. 3073 NE Sixth Ave, 954- 567-2432.
Seminole Casino, Coconut Creek:
You can enjoy dinner at the Sunset Grill or buffet at Fresh Harvest for $29.95. After midnight, Nectar Lounge offers a party with entertainment by Alisha, the Cover Girls and C&C Music Factory. No cover. 954- 977-6700.
Watch your mouth tonight
All the chomping you do while celebrating tonight might go right to "waist."
That's the fit fact from a nutrition expert who says a handful of chips contains 155 calories, which will take you 40 minutes to walk off.
Other problematic party foods:
Mini hot dogs, which come stocked with 290 calories per five, and will take 75 minutes to walk off.
Party mix, which, at 240 calories a cup, will have you pounding the pavement for 62 minutes.
A single cracker with salami and cheese contains 160 calories and will take 45 minutes to burn.
But it's not all bad news, especially for posh partiers.
Champagne is the lesser of the evils, only 105 calories per five-ounce glass, while caviar has only 40 calories per tablespoon.
Now, go... enjoy , be responsible and have a Happy New Year!!
That's the fit fact from a nutrition expert who says a handful of chips contains 155 calories, which will take you 40 minutes to walk off.
Other problematic party foods:
Mini hot dogs, which come stocked with 290 calories per five, and will take 75 minutes to walk off.
Party mix, which, at 240 calories a cup, will have you pounding the pavement for 62 minutes.
A single cracker with salami and cheese contains 160 calories and will take 45 minutes to burn.
But it's not all bad news, especially for posh partiers.
Champagne is the lesser of the evils, only 105 calories per five-ounce glass, while caviar has only 40 calories per tablespoon.
Now, go... enjoy , be responsible and have a Happy New Year!!
Unhappy returns?
10 Tips: Happy returns after the holidays
Don't want that ill-fitting sweater? Check the return policy
By Laura T. Coffey
Whether it’s an unappealing bauble from your Aunt Lucy or an ill-fitting sweater from your grandparents, unwanted gifts may send you running back to retailers after the holidays.
If you do attempt to return a few duds this year, you’re bound to encounter some store policies that will make you smile – and others that will make you grit your teeth and wish you never bothered. The following tips can help you play the returns game successfully or decide in advance to avoid the game altogether.
1. Pray for a gift receipt. Hopefully the person who gave you your third George Foreman Grill included a gift receipt that has the price embedded in its bar code. If you’re armed with the name of the retailer and this unmistakable proof of purchase, rejoice! You’re well on your way to avoiding potential headaches and run-arounds. Without a receipt, though, you might not be able to return the item at all. (More on this in Tip #3.)
2. Engage in tactful reconnaissance if necessary. Didn’t get a gift receipt from your friend or loved one? Then it’s time to do some sleuth work and figure out where the purchase was made. If you’re positive that you won’t hurt the gift giver’s feelings, simply explain that you need to return the item for whatever reason. But if hurt feelings are a concern, try these questions on for size: “Oh my goodness! Where on Earth did you find this?” “This is so unique – where did you get it?” “Where did you do your holiday shopping this year?”
3. Read the return policy online. Once you know the name of the retailer, you can read up on its specific rules and regulations from the comfort of your own home. Just visit the store’s Web site and tool around until you find the policy for returns and exchanges. Be on the lookout for answers to these sorts of questions: Does the retailer provide extra time for consumers to return or exchange unwanted holiday gifts? Or do its return policies become even more draconian around this time of year? (Some stores will only let you pursue returns for seven days after the holidays.) What will the store do for you if you don’t have a gift receipt? If the item was purchased online, who has to pay the return shipping costs? Can shipping costs be avoided altogether if you return the item at a brick-and-mortar store? Is that even allowed?
4. Go easy with the scissors. If you even suspect that you might not want to keep a certain gift, avoid cutting off any tags or throwing away any packaging or accompanying manuals. Otherwise, you might void the store’s return policy or trigger hefty restocking fees. In fact, when it comes to certain kinds of electronics goods, computers and computer accessories, many stores charge a fee if you attempt to return merchandise after the box has been opened.
5. Brace yourself. Here’s yet another detail to clarify: Just how big of a restocking fee might apply? Be aware that it can be as high as 15 percent of the purchase price – and depending on the item, that can equal hundreds of dollars. Sears, for example, charges such a 15 percent restocking fee on certain appliances, tools, sporting goods, automotive items and lawn and garden items that are not returned in their original boxes with all of their original packaging intact.
6. Know when a trip to the store may be fruitless. Many stores will not allow you to return gift certificates, gift cards, grocery products, gourmet gift baskets, plants, bedding or linens that have been opened, software that’s been opened, undergarments or bathing suits. Granted, you might be able to return some of these items, so it pays to check the store’s return and exchange policy. Just be sure to check first in order to avoid unnecessary frustration.
7. Have you been blacklisted? Here’s another little surprise you might encounter this year: More and more retailers are blocking shoppers deemed to be “serial returners” from returning items at all. The return limits vary from store to store, but they might come into play if you’ve tried to make more than three returns within 45 days or five returns within 90 days. If you’ve mistakenly or unfairly landed on one of these “serial returner” lists, ask to speak with the store’s manager about getting the situation rectified.
8. Take a deep breath. It’s common for retailers to direct all shoppers seeking returns to one central counter – where they might be forced to wait as long as 30 minutes for assistance. If you really want to return an item, walk into the store psychologically prepared to wait patiently in line and persevere. For tips on how to time your trip so as to avoid crowds, you can read my past “10 Tips” column on that subject.
9. Be determined. Approach the return desk with confidence about your mission. If the store clerk turns down your request for a refund or exchange, ask to speak with the store manager. Be aware that most companies allow their managers to make exceptions to the usual return policy.
10. Be nice. Store clerks and other customer-service employees endure a tremendous amount of rude and shoddy treatment from customers – and the long hours they’ve likely had to work in recent weeks may have left them exhausted. Bearing this in mind, remember that a smile and good manners can defuse a potentially unpleasant situation and help you as you negotiate your refund or exchange.
Don't want that ill-fitting sweater? Check the return policy
By Laura T. Coffey
Whether it’s an unappealing bauble from your Aunt Lucy or an ill-fitting sweater from your grandparents, unwanted gifts may send you running back to retailers after the holidays.
If you do attempt to return a few duds this year, you’re bound to encounter some store policies that will make you smile – and others that will make you grit your teeth and wish you never bothered. The following tips can help you play the returns game successfully or decide in advance to avoid the game altogether.
1. Pray for a gift receipt. Hopefully the person who gave you your third George Foreman Grill included a gift receipt that has the price embedded in its bar code. If you’re armed with the name of the retailer and this unmistakable proof of purchase, rejoice! You’re well on your way to avoiding potential headaches and run-arounds. Without a receipt, though, you might not be able to return the item at all. (More on this in Tip #3.)
2. Engage in tactful reconnaissance if necessary. Didn’t get a gift receipt from your friend or loved one? Then it’s time to do some sleuth work and figure out where the purchase was made. If you’re positive that you won’t hurt the gift giver’s feelings, simply explain that you need to return the item for whatever reason. But if hurt feelings are a concern, try these questions on for size: “Oh my goodness! Where on Earth did you find this?” “This is so unique – where did you get it?” “Where did you do your holiday shopping this year?”
3. Read the return policy online. Once you know the name of the retailer, you can read up on its specific rules and regulations from the comfort of your own home. Just visit the store’s Web site and tool around until you find the policy for returns and exchanges. Be on the lookout for answers to these sorts of questions: Does the retailer provide extra time for consumers to return or exchange unwanted holiday gifts? Or do its return policies become even more draconian around this time of year? (Some stores will only let you pursue returns for seven days after the holidays.) What will the store do for you if you don’t have a gift receipt? If the item was purchased online, who has to pay the return shipping costs? Can shipping costs be avoided altogether if you return the item at a brick-and-mortar store? Is that even allowed?
4. Go easy with the scissors. If you even suspect that you might not want to keep a certain gift, avoid cutting off any tags or throwing away any packaging or accompanying manuals. Otherwise, you might void the store’s return policy or trigger hefty restocking fees. In fact, when it comes to certain kinds of electronics goods, computers and computer accessories, many stores charge a fee if you attempt to return merchandise after the box has been opened.
5. Brace yourself. Here’s yet another detail to clarify: Just how big of a restocking fee might apply? Be aware that it can be as high as 15 percent of the purchase price – and depending on the item, that can equal hundreds of dollars. Sears, for example, charges such a 15 percent restocking fee on certain appliances, tools, sporting goods, automotive items and lawn and garden items that are not returned in their original boxes with all of their original packaging intact.
6. Know when a trip to the store may be fruitless. Many stores will not allow you to return gift certificates, gift cards, grocery products, gourmet gift baskets, plants, bedding or linens that have been opened, software that’s been opened, undergarments or bathing suits. Granted, you might be able to return some of these items, so it pays to check the store’s return and exchange policy. Just be sure to check first in order to avoid unnecessary frustration.
7. Have you been blacklisted? Here’s another little surprise you might encounter this year: More and more retailers are blocking shoppers deemed to be “serial returners” from returning items at all. The return limits vary from store to store, but they might come into play if you’ve tried to make more than three returns within 45 days or five returns within 90 days. If you’ve mistakenly or unfairly landed on one of these “serial returner” lists, ask to speak with the store’s manager about getting the situation rectified.
8. Take a deep breath. It’s common for retailers to direct all shoppers seeking returns to one central counter – where they might be forced to wait as long as 30 minutes for assistance. If you really want to return an item, walk into the store psychologically prepared to wait patiently in line and persevere. For tips on how to time your trip so as to avoid crowds, you can read my past “10 Tips” column on that subject.
9. Be determined. Approach the return desk with confidence about your mission. If the store clerk turns down your request for a refund or exchange, ask to speak with the store manager. Be aware that most companies allow their managers to make exceptions to the usual return policy.
10. Be nice. Store clerks and other customer-service employees endure a tremendous amount of rude and shoddy treatment from customers – and the long hours they’ve likely had to work in recent weeks may have left them exhausted. Bearing this in mind, remember that a smile and good manners can defuse a potentially unpleasant situation and help you as you negotiate your refund or exchange.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
