Bad bedroom behavior

The Cover Hog

A spouse who unwittingly claims all blankets and sources of warmth for him -- or herself, not to mention the entire bed.

How to Deal: Try to wake your cover hog and he won't respond. Try to reclaim some covers and you're faced with her sudden super-human strength to hold tight. Don't be left out in the cold. Either make the bed with three blankets (one shared and one for each of you) or switch positions. If the offender always rolls to the left with the goods, that's where you need to sleep, so the hoglet doesn't pull the blanket out from under you.

The Night Owl

A TV-watching, book reading, lights-on menace to your sleep. He or she has been known to putter around the house making too much noise.

How to Deal: It's hard to keep a bird from flying, but this one needs limits. Once you close your eyes, your owl should be allowed to read or watch the tube for a limited time frame. Then it's really time for sleep. Any outside-the-bedroom activities must be kept to a minimum and the vacated side of the bed must be filled with supportive pillows that at least mimic a warm body.

The Hyena
A mate who won't shut up … even during REM sleep. It's bothersome on numerous levels -- most of all because you wind up looking like a jerk for complaining that you didn't get any shuteye.

How to Deal: Slipping the hyena a sleeping pill is not an option (though we admit, we're often tempted). Gently nudging the hyena is allowed, as it can rouse the humming, wheezing, jabbering animal for temporary relief. For more aid, try earplugs or a white noise machine. Hey, it's that or the couch.

The Octopus

A hands-on touchy feeler who invades the coveted bed-space of their innocent, unsuspecting mate.

How to Deal: Sometimes a cuddle is just that. Your mate needs affection and you should provide it. But it doesn't have to last forever. Even if you require your space, start the night off with five minutes of close hugs, a massage, or a little hand-holding. The prize: The other person falls asleep and eventually you can roll them over and reclaim your space again, you champion, you.

The Stink Bug

This partner finds great joy in creating smelly situations under the covers (more often the male). The victim is often unaware and tricked into bed.

How to Deal: Have a good laugh and then grow up. Unless there's a medical issue behind the rumblings (or a spicy meal), ask that all gas be passed before entering the bedroom and an effort be made to send the blast to the other side of the room. Keep air freshener handy.