Here are essential steps to constructively resolve conflicts at work. The steps can be applied to any kind of conflict between co-workers.
1: Realize that conflicts are inevitable at work
Show me a workplace without conflict and I’ll show you a workplace where no one gives a damn. Whenever people are engaged, committed and fired up, conflict and disagreement is bound to happen. This doesn’t mean you have to revel in conflict or create trouble just for the hell of it, but it does mean that when conflict happens it’s not the end of the world. Quite the contrary, it can even be the beginning of an interesting learning process. The very best and most efficient workplaces are not the ones without conflicts but those who handle conflicts constructively.
Particularly when a workplace is changing and new ideas are being dreamt up and implemented, conflict is inevitable. There can be no business change without conflict. The trick is to make sure that you also have no conflict without change, because that is the truly dangerous thing: Conflicts that go on for years with all parties refusing to budge.
The fact that you have a conflict at work does not reflect badly on you - it mostly means that you care enough to disagree strongly. That’s a good thing provided that you do something about the conflict instead of just letting it go on forever.
2: Handle conflict sooner rather than later
This is the single most important tip to successfully resolve conflicts: Do it now! It’s very tempting to wait for a conflict to blow over by itself, but it rarely does - in most cases it only gets worse with time. I refer you to this delightful cartoon by Claire Bretecher for an example.
90% of conflicts at work do not come from something that was said, but from something that wasn’t said! It’s tempting to try and smooth things over and pretend everything is normal. Don’t. That’s the most common reason why conflicts at work escalate: Nobody does anything. Everyone’s waiting for the other guy to pull himself together and “just admit he’s wrong, dammit”. It may be unpleasant to tackle the issue here and now but believe me, it gets even more unpleasant after the conflict has stewed for a good long while.
3: Ask!
In the early stages of a conflict the most powerful tool to resolve it is simple: Ask! If somebody has done something that made you angry, if you don’t understand somebody’s viewpoint, if you don’t understand their actions - ask!
Do it nicely. “Say, I was wondering why you did ‘X’ yesterday” or “I’ve noticed that you often do ‘Y’. Why is that?” are good examples. “Why the hell do you always have to ‘Z’!” is less constructive :o)
Sometimes there’s a perfectly good reason why that person does what he does, and a potential conflict evaporates right there. Also: Never assume that people do what they do to annoy you or spite you. People typically have a good reason to do the things they do, even the things that really get on your nerves. Never assume bad faith on anyone else’s part. Instead: Ask!
For the rest of them just click here.
Hear Susan Wise on 101.5 LITE FM and LiteMiami.com weekdays 5:00-10:00 a.m. ET
E-Mail Susan
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment