Tips to stay in love

HOW TO STAY CRAZY IN LOVE WITH A MAN (Redbook)

Watch Him Do What He Does Best: Grab the kids and go see him make that three-point shot at his weekly pickup basketball game, or when he's in fix-it mode, admire his prowess with power tools. The point is, observing your guy doing his thing -- and doing it well, whatever it is -- will leave you thinking: He's good, and he's mine.

Daydream Together: Remember when you used to talk for hours about your pie-in-the-sky dreams and deepest desires? Now your most passionate conversations revolve around parent-teacher conferences and carpooling schedules. Well, it's time to dream big -- as a couple -- again. It assumes that you two have a future together, and that bonds you.

Make Love in Strange Places: Not to worry -- we're not talking about phone booths or the crosstown bus. But how about sending the kids to a sitter and make whoopie someplace surprising -- in the kitchen, the shower, even the backyard after dark?

Declare a Short-Term Separation: That absence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder stuff may sound sappy, but it's true. To build time-outs into your marriage, look for opportunities to be apart for a bit: a visit to a relative, an overnight at a girlfriend's house, a Girl Scouts camping trip with the kids. Just a day apart can stir up those feelings of longing.

Do Something Out of Character: Are you a total city girl? Suggest a camping weekend. Are you a bookworm? Hit a karaoke bar; he'll be amazed at your nerve. Even something as simple as a getting up an hour earlier to have breakfast with your mate (if you're typically a night owl) can be a welcome change of pace. There's a danger in familiarity. Changing any patterns and doing things unexpectedly is a great way to keep love alive.

Read to Each Other: There's something so bonding, even sexy, about getting engrossed in a story together -- or just hearing your guy read lines from Shakespeare, a scary mystery or the latest best-seller. His voice, after all, is undoubtedly a big part of your history, as in those long phone conversations from your dating days and his first declaration of passion. Hearing him read aloud can make you feel crazy in love once again.

Know the Code: Go ahead -- be the only two people in the world in on a secret. By sharing code words or signals, you'll crank up your chemistry level. Some couples have a set of special insider expressions and gestures that they use to stay connected when they're in public: a sideways glance, a barely perceptible smile, a finger rubbed against a cheek.

Pursue Instant Gratification: Adopt a right-here, right-now mind-set -- at least occasionally. For instance, if you're thinking of your guy, call him now. Appreciate him? Hug him this instant. Want to make love? Track him down and do it as soon as humanly possible -- or at least let him know the steamy thoughts that are running through your head.

Celebrate Each Other: Showing your pride in him will give him that strong, confident, "I'm the man" feeling, and it'll remind him how lucky he is to have his number-one fan by his side. (It'll also make him more likely to look for ways to show his love and admiration for you, too.) You don't have to rent a billboard to make a statement; you can celebrate, say, by sending him a card when he aces a big work project. Or when he finally meets his goal of running a 10K race, call up friends and relatives (while he's within earshot) to brag about him.