HOW TO DATE GREAT IN 2008
(Match.com)
Dare to have spares Dating is a numbers game, so ignore the old rule that says, 'A nice person only dates one at a time.' The more you date, the better the odds of finding someone wonderful who's worth weeding out from the pack. Plus, a full social calendar and lack of instant availability brings out the hard-to-get reaction in the opposite sex without actually having to play a game!"
Roll up the rugs Throw a 'widening your net of possibilities' party. Love matches often come from your network of friends, colleagues and family. Invite everyone you know and ask them to bring at least one single person, or even a couple. The love of your life -- or at least his or her cousin -- just might walk through your door.
Be captivated Finding and sustaining love is like acquiring a piece of art. We should wait to be struck and captivated. But all too often we walk around with our pre-crafted 'frame' or idea of whom we belong with -- desperately trying to fit someone into it. So in 2008, throw away your mental checklist of what you're looking for and keep a truly open mind --you might be surprised at who truly clicks with you.
Get a planner Set dating goals. Writing things down helps you to achieve your goals. Think short- and long-term. Maybe it's one date a week or meeting three new people a month. Either way, write it down and make it happen.
Risk embarrassment Don't be afraid of going out on a limb. You don't want to appear desperate, but at some point one of you has to give up waiting three days to call the other person back and pretending you're too aloof to fall in love. Why not you? A corny gesture -- writing a note telling how happy you are when you see him or cooking a meal -- can make him think it's time to take things beyond the stage of dates you aren't sure are actually dates.
Play the odds The quickest way to meet prospective dates is to hang out in places where the odds are in your favor. For women, that means sports bars or the driving range. For guys, try DSW (or any other gigantic shoe warehouse). These places are crawling with women, especially on early Friday evenings and Saturdays. Just ask the nearest unattached female to help you pick out a new pair of shoes. See where it goes from there.
Listen up One of the most engaging ways to get people to feel close to you is by being a good listener. Why do you think people love to go to their hairdresser? Good listening requires paying close attention, asking for details, and then echoing back the important points of the conversation. If you take the time to listen to someone, he or she will feel like you really care.
Get some class Sign up for one thing you're interested in that involves a group meeting on a regular basis. I recommend ones that focus on your own interests: Yoga, cooking or kayaking class, a gardening group, a political campaign, or a co-ed sports league or team. In no time, you'll have a wider circle of friends, and when you meet a prospect, you'll already have some idea of that person's character and personality. This will prevent you from wasting a lot of time on a loser.
Give good sense Have a romance with life! Tap into your senses, and you'll come alive with positive energy. Really taste your food and savor your wine; enjoy your music and the sounds of nature; feel the sun or the breeze on your skin and smell the aromas around you. When you get in the habit of living life like this, others are drawn to your passion and enthusiasm.
Hear Susan Wise on 101.5 LITE FM and LiteMiami.com weekdays 5:00-10:00 a.m. ET
E-Mail Susan
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
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