Susan and Howard

Let the wedding plans begin! Save the date 10-04-08!

Ladies to propose

WOMEN ALLOWED TO PROPOSE!

What?! Allowed? Wow. Talk about "old school". A woman, a lady, may
ask a man to dance, or for a date, and she may also ask for his hand in
marriage. It will not take away her femininity, or her dignity. Why should it?

There's nothing wrong with women asking. Unless of course, you are among
the many different groups of people who do see that as very un-lady-like.

The legend has it that in the year 1288, in Scotland, it was made legal for
women to propose to men in a Leap Year only. If he declines, he must
provide her with a silk dress, or a pair of gloves. There was a fine for the
guy if he said no! That's so unfair. I am so thankful that is not the case
today.

The legend spread around the world and soon there were many Leap Year
Balls and Leap Year Dances. Some were being held so the women may
ask the man to dance. And some were specifically for the woman to ask
him for his hand in marriage.

Leap Day and the events because of Leap Day, are often mistaken for
Sadie Hawkins Day, but that is in November. The only similarity is in the
fact that the woman has the opportunity to do the asking. February 29 is
NOT Sadie Hawkins Day. It is Leap Year Day, or simply, Leap Day.

In the late 1800s and early 1900s, there were many postcards depicting
women asking, even begging, the man to marry her. The postcard on the
bottom right is a perfect example of the woman asking for his hand. She
has gone straight to the man's father to ask him.

Well, here in the early part of the second millennium, it is more of a
romantic idea than law. There are many people wanting to ask, or even
get married in a Leap Year.

Oprah's Big Give

Oprah Winfrey wants to help people in need and aims to achieve that with her do-gooding new reality show, Oprah's Big Give.

"Big Give is fun, entertaining, emotional, inspiring and intense," she told TV Guide.

"It's always fun for me to be able to give and to watch people's reactions. I love a great surprise. There are many moments that will leave you in tears of joy."

Oprah adds: "I wouldn't be involved with anything that was going to humiliate or dehumanise or make anybody feel bad.

"When we decided to do a series, we knew that we had to create something that was different, a new kind of television, a new kind of idea."

The competition, which premieres on Sunday March 2, sees 10 contestants run around America to help make strangers' dreams come true, with the wads of cash they are given.

The person deemed "the biggest giver" wins one million US dollars.

Oprah's Big Give is filled with stars - Jamie Oliver, Malaak Compton-Rock (wife of comedian Chris) and NFL player Tony Gonzalez sit on the judging panel, while the presenter's celebrity friends, including Jennifer Aniston, Donald Trump and John Travolta, lend a hand.

Teach kids to give

Five Great Ways To Teach Your Child About Philanthropy
by Rebecca Lucia, Charity Navigator



It is never too early to instill philanthropy in a child; yet, teaching them that it is better to give than to receive can be a difficult task. Children should learn that philanthropy is not just for adults or for the wealthy, but that anyone making an attempt to better society is a philanthropist. Here are five great ways to teach your child about philanthropy and charity. These ideas are easy and straightforward and can be as simple or elaborate as you make them.
· Spend time with your child by going through their winter clothes from last year. Any item that was lightly used and no longer fits should be placed in a pile to donate to a reputable local clothing drive. You can teach your child that another child will be able to use this clothing to keep themselves warm this winter.
· Go through the cabinets with your child and collect canned fruits and vegetables or other non-perishable items that can be donated to a local food bank or pantry. You could also go to the store and have your child pick out food items for your donation. Explain to your child that your donation will prevent other people from going hungry.
· Take your child to the local toy store and have them pick out an item for a less fortunate child. Many programs that work with children, including shelters and mental health centers, accept new toys year-round.
· Teach your child about charities and the services that they provide. Help him find a cause that is meaningful to him and make a donation in his name. If your child receives an allowance, encourage her to donate a portion of her allowance to the charity of her choice. Many children are eager to help other children in need, but don't understand how to help.
· Volunteering is a fantastic way to get your child involved in philanthropy. The opportunities available expand as your children get older, but there are plenty of chances for children of all ages to help. For example, your little ones can help visit seniors in nursing homes, your adolescents can join an environmental group to clean up a dirty beach, and your teenagers can serve as mentors or tutors at after-school programs.
It is important to remember that the spirit of philanthropy is not about what or how much you give but rather about the feeling that you are helping others in need. You can use our Advanced Search to create a list of charities that match your child's interests or that are located near your home.

Haggle with your kids

Parents report that arguments with children over discipline, homework, or chores account for more than all work related stressors combined. Although many parents have learned to breathe deeply and manage their stress, many of us feel drained and worn out after a day of arguments over clothes, snacks, chores, TV, and sibling conflict. One parenting seminar participant said “When I hear my daughter come home, sometimes I go in the bathroom and close the door. I can’t stand the arguments.”

Workplace and marital stress make things worse and when parents argue with each other, they are three times more likely to have conflict with their children.

Extreme or Prolonged stress can damage the heart, weaken the immune system, impair memory, and disrupt the development of children. Stress may be a contributor to our epidemic of obesity—a high level of cortisol, a hormone released during prolonged stress, leads to increased fat production in the body.

What can you do to manage conflicts more effectively with less stress? Negotiate.

Date night ideas

(Heather Long)


Having a date night is an ideal way to spend time with your spouse when you both seem to be running in opposite directions all day long. All the self-help and marriage tips guides suggest a 'date night' especially after a couple becomes parents. Unfortunately, setting up a date night takes Special Forces planning, a designated drop zone and a minimum of three separate times for deployment.

You just never know what's going to come up and it always seems to happen on the one night you plan to spend some quiet time together. Your daughter gets the sniffles. Your sister has a crisis. You just picked up a new project that has to be turned around in 24 hours. You're exhausted and as much as you want to do something, neither of you can keep your eyes open.

There's always something.

So here's some new ideas for spicing up a spontaneous date night because you never know when you'll get a few hours to yourself.

Movie Marathon from the Year You Met

Sometimes you can't decide on a movie to watch and haggling over a title can take away precious minutes from your time together. Rather than haggle, Google movies made the year you met. Pick two titles from the first ten you find. You may get some stinkers or you may find some gems - either way, you get something to watch that you can either shred with humor or enjoy!

Movie Marathon from the Years You Were Born

This is a similar theme to the idea about, but it falls in line with watching a movie you may have never seen. For example, I was born in 1972 - that was the year Nixon got into trouble. Digging up movies from 72 gives us a chance to see how the world looked before we were out of diapers!

Make Up Your Own Trivia Questions

This one takes a little planning. Sit down with about a dozen note cards and write down some trivia questions about yourself and add some multiple-choice answers. Then roll the dice and play the game with and against each other. You get a chance to know your partner better and test your own knowledge. It can be as fun or serious as you like.

Play Dress Up - Have a Formal Dinner at Home

This one is a particular favorite of mine. Once upon a time and in some circles today it is traditional to get dressed up in formals before a meal. Take the time to have a formal dinner. Set up a couple of tapered candles and enjoy a 'formal' meal together. Even if you aren't into the pomp and circumstance, try to get into the mood. Role-play - you might find yourself having a good time in spite of yourself and it's definitely a way to escape from the every day.

Play Hooky

Every once and a while, my husband and I just blow off some responsibilities or work for a couple of hours and take off to go somewhere together. We may go to the bookstore, the mall or just for a drive. It can be nice to feel a little bad and play hooky from life while our kiddo is at Pre-K. Two weeks ago, we went out to the movies on a Friday morning at 9 a.m. Not everyone may be able to do this, but if you get the chance - enjoy the thrill!

Celebrate marriage

1. Tell him you love him
Spill your most loving thoughts. "We tend to get caught up in complaining — he doesn't say this or do that — but it's so important to affirm out loud what a great guy he is, and why you fell in love with him, and love him so much today," says Gloria Richfield, Ph.D. Next time he cracks you up, pipe up about how incredible it is to be married to a guy with such a terrific sense of humor; or first thing in the morning, before your feet touch the floor, let him hear that whatever the workday holds can't faze you, since you know you'll see him that night.

2. Talk about the future
All new couples love to daydream about the future — the places you'll go, the parties you'll throw, the house you'll renovate — but that habit tends to fall by the wayside when you're in a long-standing union. To get that sense of anticipation going again, and make sure the coming years have the highlights you're hoping for, visualize the future together. Plan a romantic vacation, a wilderness adventure or something closer to home, like putting a Jacuzzi in your bathroom — and make it happen.

3. Give "just-because" gifts
Instead of going for big-ticket items on "real holidays," a writer and mom of three in California and her husband, Bill, give gifts when the appropriate occasion strikes, calendar be damned. "When I noticed that I was bored silly with seeing him in the same suit everyday, I took him shopping for a new one, and when he saw that a writer's conference was coming to a college near us, he signed me up to help my journalism career along," she says. "Those kinds of gifts make us feel connected, like we're looking out for each other all year long."


Oh, but there's more.

Take a year off

By MSN Money staff



Could anything sound more wonderful and less realistic? Yet thousands of people just like you do it every year.

Maybe you want to travel, go back to school, spend quality time with your family, volunteer or pursue a hobby full time. Not many employers will foot the bill, but an increasing number will welcome you back once you're refreshed.

Yes, you are probably going to end up with less money a year from now, five years from now and 20 years from now. The goal is for you to plan your time off in advance, make sure you can swing your finances so you don't have money worries while you are supposed to be de-stressing and not find yourself saying, "I wish I had never taken that time off -- it just wasn't worth it," at any point in the future.

It sounds great in theory, but how do you pull it off and keep your financial goals -- such as a secure retirement -- on track? Here's how.

Look better nude

Look Better Naked
By Martica Heaner, M.A., M.Ed., for MSN Health & Fitness
Freelance


If you’re a pajama kind of woman longing to flash some flesh, we’ve got a plan that will get you uncovered and ready for lace—or nothing at all! This body-firming routine is designed to reach all the parts your clothing won’t. But this is no average toning workout. We’ve added an extra fat blast —three-minute, calorie-burning cardio intervals between every strength move.

To expedite the transformation of your soon-to-be exposed areas, follow a nutritious, portion-controlled eating plan and include at least 30 minutes of cardio work on days that you don’t perform this routine. If you are new to exercise, listen to your body’s signals and lower the intensity or duration of your workout accordingly. By coupling firming moves for your butt, abs, legs, arms, chest, back and shoulders with calorie-burning fat blasts, you will create sexy curves. Get ready to go from flannel to fabulous!

HOW TO DO IT:

• Choose a weight that is heavy enough to challenge your target muscles, but not so heavy that your joints feel strained. Start with dumbbells that are at least 5 to 8 pounds and gradually work up to using 6 to 20 pounds, depending on the exercise.

• Wear sneakers, but do not use weights during the fat blasts. If needed, modify the high-impact movements, such as the jumps, and make them lower impact by performing the same movement without jumping. Move for three minutes (or less if you are just starting) and try not to pause between exercises. Of course, if you feel tired or out of breath, slow down.

• Start with one complete circuit: Perform each three-minute Fat Blast, followed by eight to 12 repetitions of each firming move. Move quickly when performing each strength move, but do not swing the weights—if you can swing them, your weight is too light. Once you’ve cycled through all six exercises, repeat the circuit for a total of two to three cycles.

• Do this workout two to three times a week on non-consecutive days.

• Modify this workout to match your fitness level. Follow the recommended moves, or adapt them as needed to make them easier or more challenging.

Oscar fashion

The hot color at the Oscars was blending in with the carpet...RED!

Stormy weather could not stop Hollywood's stars from dazzling the Oscars red carpet on Sunday, where the celebratory red dress was as popular as ever.

Presenter Dame Helen Mirren wore a red duchess satin dress with a pleated bodice and silver beaded sleeves with diamante clutch. Jimmy Choo red platforms completed a perfect ensemble.

Also in red was Katherine Heigl in a dress by Escada and Anne Hathaway looked stunning in an off-the-shoulder red chiffon draped dress with floral accents complementing her flawless pale skin and dark hair.

Heidi Klum arrived with her husband, Seal, wearing a stunning red silk satin dress by John Galliano haute couture with the signature Dior structured neckline framing her perfect cheekbones.

She designed the jewelry herself with chandelier earrings of rubies and pink sapphires and complementary cuff and ring with Jimmy Choo satin peep-toed platform shoes dyed the perfect shade of red to match the dress.

Also in Galliano for Dior was Cameron Diaz in a summery blush-colored strapless gown with cross-draped detail at the waist.

The classic black dress was again a favorite this year with Jennifer Garner in a black strapless Oscar de la Renta, with Van Cleef and Arpels jewelry and presenter Hilary Swank chose an off the shoulder Atelier Versace gown covered with lace and tulle.

Penelope Cruz looked perfect in a Chanel strapless midnight blue dress with feathered details, draped at the waist and best supporting actress nominee Laura Linney also chose a black strapless taffeta dress.

Nicole Kidman wore a perfectly simple black satin dress with sweet-heart neckline and soft empire-style drapes all but masking her pregnancy.

Also in black was best supporting actress winner Tilda Swinton who wore a daring one-sleeved number which seemed to suit her quirky style and nominee Ellen Page chose a rather plain black tiered crepe dress with single straps.

As always, there were those who broke with tradition including Kelly Preston wearing a saffron chiffon Roberto Cavalli pleated dress and presenter Rene Zellweger in a silver heavily beaded strapless dress with daring side slit by Carolina Herrera.

Saoirse Ronan, nominated for her role in Atonement, wore an emerald green dress in honor of her native Ireland, designed especially for her by Alberta Ferretti.

Marion Cotillard, winner of the Best Actress award, showed a unique style in a mermaid inspired halter-neck dress by Jean Paul Gaultier with silvery scales and appropriately fish-tail like sweeping train.

Her side-swept dark hair in a classic fifties style seemed out of step with the dress.

Diablo Cody, winner of the award for best original screenplay, sported a leopard print chiffon by Dior with beaded shoulder detail.

In one of the few knee-length dresses of the evening was Julie Christie in Ruby red shot silk taffeta pleated dress with elbow-length gloves and an extraordinary 100,000-dollar Lana Marks clutch accented with precious stones ­ a princess cut ruby and purple sapphires.

Get all the Oscar buzz.

Career advice

Is a *career move* something you’re determined to do? According to the experts from a survey by /*Money*/ magazine, recruiters typically target mid-career changers. Why? At a certain age (30’s & 40’s primarily) 32% of the people surveyed are motivated to doing whatever it takes to make the change happen, whether it’s relocation, additional schooling, or certification. So it you’ve decided changing jobs or careers is in your future, here are some tips to convince a hiring manager that you’re right for the job:

First, *show your commitment.** * This might mean taking classes in your chosen field, joining an industry organization, or moonlighting in that
industry- even on a volunteer basis.

Next, *take some baby steps.* If you're a lawyer itching to become a travel writer, work as a writer for a legal publication first. Once you’ve got some writing experience under your belt, you can work toward taking those skills into the industry you *really* want.

*Focus on your transferable skills.* Strong interpersonal communication?
Moving a project along an established timeline, and within budget? Those are the things to highlight in an interview.

*Learn the lingo, *because every industry has their own specialized language that doesn’t apply elsewhere, whether you’re in radio, manufacturing, or finance. You can learn by reading relevant trade publications and job postings, doing Internet searches, and attending seminars or speeches.

Finally, while you’re out there, *start networking.* Over 80% of job seekers say that their network of family, friends, and colleagues has helped them get a new job.

Best impression

According to media strategist Roger Ailes, *you have 7 seconds to make a good impression on someone.* And, according to Yale University psychology professor Marianne LaFrance, *90% of a first impression is based on appearance, posture, facial expressions, and tone of voice. *So here’s how to put your best foot- or smile- forward:

First, *your handshake speaks volumes! *According to the Yale study, people who make eye contact while offering a handshake that’s firm, dry, and vigorous – as opposed to clammy, limp, and wimpy – not only make a better impression, but make people believe you possess the qualities associated with your grip.

Next- *fix your hair!**** Sound like your mother when she was getting you out the door to school? Turns out, as most always, that Mom knew what she was harping...I mean, talking about!

This one’s a little more for the women, but listen up, too, men! When you meet someone new, your hair style will get noticed more than your facial features. Long hair says, "My looks are important to me". Short hair says, "I’m confident and successful". And shoulder length hair says, "I’m intelligent and level-headed".

Ready to go? The countdown’s on! 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, and ...1! You’re hired!

The Razzies

We know who had the best movie of the year but what about the worst? The Razzies awards are out.

Eddie & Lindsay Both Achieve Trifectas of Trash, Lohan's KILLED ME Cops New RAZZIE® Record

Murphy & Lohan All But Shut Out Competition
at 28th Worst Film Awards


Many a RAZZIE® record was broken at this weekend's 28th Annual Golden Raspberry Awards, which dis-honor Worst Achievements in Film. Lindsay Lohan and Eddie Murphy, each starring in one of 2007's Worst Picture nominees, both managed the unenviable feat of securing three of the gold spray-painted, $4.89 trophies apiece. Murphy became the first performer ever to win three of the four Worst Acting trophies in a single year — all for his multiple roles in the film everyone assumes cost him last year's Best Supporting Actor Oscar® for DREAMGIRLS. As the nerdy title character in NORBIT, Eddie was named Worst Actor. Painted orange and sporting about four pounds of Latex, Murphy was also chosen Worst Supporting Actor for his ethnically insensitive portrayal of "Mr. Wong." And, in a wig and sporting about 400-pounds of Latex, Murphy took the trophy as Worst Supporting Actress for his portrayal of the foul-mouthed, ill-tempered harpy Rasputia in the same film. Playing two characters who may (or may not) have been twins in I KNOW WHO KILLED ME, Lohan equaled Eddie's triple "achievement." Nominated individually for each of her characters, Lindsay "won" a pair of Worst Actress statuettes when she received the same number of votes for both roles. And, for a scene in which she appears opposite herself at the film's finale, Lohan was also RAZZed as the year's Worst Screen Couple. The film itself, with a less-than-grand total of 8 "wins" from its 9 nominations, broke the long-standing record for most RAZZIES® "won" by a single film. SHOWGIRLS and BATTLEFIELD EARTH, each with 7 "wins," had previously been the champions. In addition to Lindsay's twinsy "wins," KILLED ME copped the awards as Worst Picture, Worst Director, Worst Screenplay, Worst Excuse for a Horror Movie and Worst Remake or Rip-Off (where it competed as both a rip-off of the HOSTEL and SAW teen-torture-porn movies and an oddball remake of the 1960s sitcom THE PATTY DUKE SHOW).


The lone "winner" not associated with either KILLED ME or NORBIT still had something to do with Eddie Murphy. An Eddie-Murphy-Sequel-without-Eddie-Murphy, the pooping, belching, vomiting, cacophonous kiddy "comedy" DADDY DAY CAMP was crowned Worst Prequel or Sequel.

Food and wine fest

Live cooking demonstrations, famous stars and lots of fun at the South Beach Food and Wine Festival. It runs through Sunday. Get all the details.

Sending sick kids to school

(cbs4)

It is something most every parent has to go through. When a child gets sick, should mom and dad decide to keep that sick child home from school or daycare?

It's a tough decision that often has parents, doctors and child care providers disagreeing about which symptoms warrant keeping a child home. If both parents work, the decision becomes even more difficult.

Stay at home mom Lucy Burks decided to keep her son Jack home from school when he wasn't feeling well and she told CBS4's Liv Davalos that many working parents don't do the right thing.

"It does become a problem because the classroom is like a breeding ground it can spread like wildfire," said Burks.

Mom Beatriz Wagman agrees it's frustrating.

"It's very frustrating. You follow the rules and other parents send their kids sick," said Wagman.

So just what are the rules?

That's a tricky question because some schools and daycares may not see eye to eye on this topic.

Here's a pretty standard list of symptoms that should keep a child home:


A fever of 100 degrees or more
Diarrhea or vomiting
A rash with a fever
Anything contagious like pink eye or chicken pox
If your child has a mild cold without a fever, it's usually okay to take him or her to school.

Pediatrician Dr. Philip Floyed warns parents need to be vigilant during flu season. He suggests parents assess their child each morning to make sure they're not coming down with something.

"Looking sick is a child who doesn't want to eat, is unprepared to face the day," said Floyed.

Parents who can't miss another day of work should have a back up plan for child care such as a support system like grandma to babysit.

They should also look into providers who offer "sick child" daycare which are places where you can take your mildly sick child while you go to work.

Doctor's agree prevention is always the best medicine.

Make sure your children and their providers practice good hygiene. Frequent hand washing especially during cold and flu season can't hurt either.

Personality thief

That guy or gal you met on Match.com or MySpace who you were drawn to by the quirky humor and sparkling intelligence displayed in their personal profile could turn out in reality to be a personality stealer who ripped off that "About Me" section from someone else. In a article last week called "The Cut-and-Paste Personality," the Wall Street Journal reported that a growing number of people who are either too unimaginative, too boring or too lazy to come up with an interesting personal profile of their own are stealing them from other people. The Post reported that a search on MySpace turned up more than 700 recent comments accusing other people of stealing headlines, user names, songs, background designs and entire profiles. And even if that profile that caught your eye isn't stolen, it still may not have been written by that person, as there are many services and people out there who are paid to write engaging personal profiles for online daters.

Personality and health

Five personality "types" are linked to specific health concerns. How a patient views life is frequently the first place a doctor looks to gain diagnostic insight.

Find out if you're at risk.

Date like a dude

WOMEN -- HOW TO DATE LIKE A MAN

(Marie Claire)

OWN THE ROOM: When you walk into a place, act like you know where the hell you're going, even if you don't. Everyone will wonder who you are and why you're there, but they'll never think you're useless and confused.
EYE YOUR PREY: Got your eye on someone? Good. Don't shy away. Look him straight in the eye and think, "You should be attached to my lips by now, why aren't you?" Trust me, he'll read your thoughts like they're projected above your head on a widescreen.
FAKE INTEREST: Look. No one cares about what anyone else has to say. They just don't. But what you have to do is pretend that you do. Ask about their life, their job, their parents, anything to keep them talking. Because the more fake interest you show in them, the easier it is to disarm them. Guys are used to talking about themselves, as are we all, but if you actually fake an interest, they kind of don't know what to do.
TAKE CONTROL: You're at the bar, you're talking with him, it's been hours, and still nothing has happened. Do us all a favor. Kiss the idiot. For one thing, he's not going to not appreciate it. For another, if you don't do it, someone else will.
SEX IS ALWAYS ON THE MENU: Do you want sex? Because men do. And that's pretty much all they want from you until they get to know you and your sense of humor and how you put on your shoes in that cute way that no one else does.
NEVER EXCHANGE ALL YOUR INFORMATION: This is so incredibly important. Give him your name. Give him a fake cell number. In this age of the Internet, anyone can find you if they want to, but, that being said, it doesn't mean you should hand out your cell phone number to every last guy you happen to sleep with. Tell him what you do for a living, but don't tell him where you work.
CALLING IS OPTIONAL: So you've had sex. Good for you! Guess what? You never have to talk to each other ever again if you don't want to. Know why? It's not required to talk after sex. If you had a good time but you don't want to date him, don't call him.


Like they say, "what's good for the goose is also good for the gander."

Here comes trouble

Dealing with Problem Bridesmaids

Erin Hill

They're supposed to be there for you through gown fittings, crazy in-laws, and crazier grooms to be. But sometimes, even your best support systems can buckle under the strain. From bridesmaid dress distress to gripes about expenses, keeping a bridal party happy can be as demanding as the wedding planning itself. Every bride needs to know how to manage blasts from her bemoaning bridesmaids. Here are our top bridesmaid troubles and tips for avoiding bridal party beefs.

Problem: A bridesmaid says "heck no!" to a dress you love
Solution: You love your girls partly because they're honest. Now it's all backfiring. According to them, the "perfect" bridesmaid dress is not-so-perfect -- in fact, they hate it. Our advice? If it's not to late, work out a compromise. Sure it's your wedding, but it's their self-esteem (and probably their cash, too), and you need these ladies to love you long after you become Mrs. Married. Tell them you'll pick the color and then let them choose the style. Have them all go through the same gown manufacturer so that the fabric is identical. There is no rule that the dresses need to be the same. That said, keep in mind that these things are ultimately your decision. If a bridesmaid is being unreasonable (make sure it's not you being too demanding), let her know how important your vision is and that you will work together to find a dress that will make you both happy.

Problem: You hear grumbles about expenses
Solution: Be considerate. It's likely that your maids will only wear this dress for a few hours, so don't make them hock their car to be a part of your wedding. Choose a dress that is reasonably priced -- have them tell you what reasonable is -- or work together with your party to find a dress that's both within their style and budget. Brides are not required to pay for the dresses, but if you want to spring for something pricey, consider adding it on to your own budget or paying for half. Try to mitigate expenses elsewhere too -- if they're buying the dresses, don't make them buy jewelry and shoes too.

Problem: Not all your bridesmaids are "maids"
Solution: If you have a best guy friend or male family member whom you wish to include as one of your attendants (instead of as one of his), go right ahead. The days of the all-female bridal party are over. Your guy can either match the groomsmen, or he can match your girls by wearing a tie or other accessory that incorporates the color of their dresses.

Problem: Your white wedding is turning green with envy
Solution: With all your gorgeous friends in attendance and done up to the nines, it's only natural to have fleeting feelings of insecurity wondering how you'll stack up. This is an easy one. We promise you this: There has never, in the history of all weddings, been a bridesmaid who outshines the bride. It's the nature of the white dress and the glow of a woman in love. With all eyes on you as you glide down the aisle, you're sure to be the only one in the spotlight.

Problem: Not quite measuring up
Solution: The job of a good bridesmaid is identical to that of a good friend. She should be there with encouragement, comfort, emotional support, and, at this stage of your life, a willingness to tie ribbons and help with seating charts. If one of your bridesmaids is not doing her part, it's important that you be honest (not blamey) with her and clearly communicate your needs. She may have issues too that this wedding has brought to the surface, or may think that your expectations are unreasonable. Once you've both cleared the air you should be able to move ahead. And follow the golden rule of bridesmaid management: Be sure to thank them openly and often throughout the process.

Problem: Which one of these is not like the other?
Solution: Sometimes there are pressures to ask people to be in your party who you would just rather not ask -- a family member from his side, or a college roommate who had you in her wedding. No one can force you to include these people in your party, but be aware of the hurt feelings that may result if you decide against it, and be prepared to deal with them -- especially if the person excluded is family. Mitigate hurt feelings by coming up with ways to keep people involved without asking them to be in the bridal party. For members of his family (yes, even female ones) ask them to be part of the groom's party; for old friends who just don't make the cut, have them do a ceremony reading or get them involved by asking them to help you into your dress.

Problem: Last-ditch effort
Solution: It's never easy, but sometimes when all else fails or when something explosive has happened, the only alternative is to ask a bummer bridesmaid to step down. There really is no right way to do this. Good friends will understand the decisions you have to make. People who've turned out not to be such good friends are better weeded out, anyway. Just remember the most important thing is to be honest, no matter what.

Do you fight fair

No relationship is perfect, and at some point you're going to have a confrontation with a coworker, neighbor or someone you love. Disagreements can be a way to respectfully voice your opinion and carefully consider the other person's thoughts - or they can be an all-out, name-calling fiasco. Is your fighting style fair or do your quarrels need a referee? Take this quiz to find out.