Making Lust Last

Rekindling Passion for the Husband You Still Love
By Keith Ablow, M.D.

Here are 5 ways to put the X back in married sex!

Luckily, with so much passion locked inside us, there's a lot to unlock. It's just a matter of finding the right key. For most couples, being married makes being passionate together more difficult, not less. Admitting this is happening is the first step toward making it stop. You can change your sex life this week. Pick one item from this five-point plan and try it out. Have your husband pick another for next week. You'll be on your way to married sex that works.

1. Assume you don't know everything about each other sexually.
2. Offer up an emotionally safe way to explore each other's fantasies.
3. To make sex less intimidating, turn it into a game. Ask your partner to tell you three of his fantasies, and you get to choose one to act out. Then it's his turn -- you tell him three of yours, and he selects one.
4. Provide examples. In order for your spouse to believe that you want to hear his real fantasies, you'll have to prove it by giving a believable example.
5. Give real-life routine a rest. Monotony (not to be confused with monogamy) is the enemy of passion. In order to see your mate as the prince, and for him to see you as the princess, it helps to set the stage and put on the right costume. Tell him to meet you at a restaurant for a date. Dress to impress each other.

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