Toasting the couple

Cheers! Making The Perfect Wedding Toast

(Michael Kabel)

Making a toast is not like making a speech, where you have an extended amount of time to get your point across. Instead, the toast is like an elegant little summary of your feelings for the bride or groom (or both.)

Your strongest advantage when making a toast is that, unlike a speech or presentation, you don't have to win the crowd over to your side. They already share your feelings about the new couple. Instead, think of the toast as a way to inscribe your own simple but lovely words onto the already-lovely evening of the rehearsal dinner or reception.

The best toasts are pretty but don't take a lot of time and energy getting their point across. They're not necessarily funny, either. Don't try to write a script. Ever heard someone read from a script verbatim off the page? It sounds bizarre, doesn't it, almost like a robot. "We... are... proud... to... celebrate... this wedding."

You don't want to come across stiff or over-rehearsed. Quite the opposite, you want to come across like you're on the verge of getting swept away by emotion. Write down a few ideas you'd like to say in the toast, but don't write everything out. Keep the list in your head and don't think about whether it sounds "official" or not.

Practice your toast as if telling a story to the audience. Imagine yourself telling someone a story. How would you arrange the details? How would the story make sense in your mind as you related it? The best toasts begin with a short, brief story and then expand into the salutation, or wish for a happy future. As you prepare your toast, think about what details are appropriate and which ones are visual enough to keep your audience's attention. Don't get cute, and don't try to be funny.

There's a temptation to try to charm the crowd by adding sentimental details or wowing them with a funny joke or good-natured ribbing. Unless you're a professional comedian, don't bother with either tactic. If something is funny, the audience will sense that. Don't try to force humor, and don't get sappy when the bride and groom already feel on the spot.

Don't look like the Statue of Liberty. Don't hold your glass up the whole time you're speaking. Instead, call for attention by tapping your water glass with a spoon or fork. Near the end of your toast, hold the glass up. You don't have to chug a lug, either: a few sips is sufficient. If the audience applauds - and they well might - don't take a bow or do anything ostentatious. Just nod and say thanks as you sit down.