Don’t say this on a first date
By Lisa Lombardi
I once went on a first (and last) date with a guy who broke the ice by telling me that he had been deported from England on drug charges and often spent time in a mental institution. There was more — something about a scheme to steal money from his wealthy parents — but I was hardly listening by that point. All I could think was: “Why are you telling me this?!”
Because, truth is, most of us know what you should never say on a first date. Words like “electroshock,” “contagious rash” and “felony” jump to mind. But what about the more subtle subjects you’re best not broaching right off the bat? We polled both experts and real men and women about the other deal-breakers—those topics so deadly they guarantee there won’t be a date #2.
Here, five subjects usually thought to be acceptable, but in truth are likely to scare off a potential love:
Deal-breaker #1: Your romantic past
Here’s the problem with bringing up your former flame (let’s call him Brad): If you trash Brad, it sounds like you’re not over him. If you talk him up, it sounds like you’re not over him. And if you mention that you’re still in touch with the guy, what your date hears is, “You’re OK for free steak, but if Brad is drunk and calls me at 3 a.m., I am so there.”
Guys are just as likely as women to make this first date faux pas, as Maria Amor of San Diego found out. “I went out with a guy who had a broken leg, so we had to hang out at his apartment. I asked him what he did all day and he said he played Xbox—a gift from his ex-girlfriend!” Maria recalls. “Then he went on about how she was so supportive during tough situations (meanwhile, I’m fluffing the pillow under his feet!). I had to sit there and listen to how wonderful that girl was. Right then I decided I would be his ‘pillow-fluffer’ no more.”
Jill Kleiner’s date never got a clue, either. “He kept telling me all the great places he went with his ex-girlfriend,” says the Stirling, New Jersey, resident. “All night I had to hear about all the fantastic things they used to do together.” So Jill just happened to be “busy” when he asked her out a second time. Jill’s (wisely) holding out for a guy who wants to plot future adventures—with her.
Deal-breaker #2: Talking about kids
Want to scare the bejeezus out of your first date? Say this word: Baby. Or this one: Pregnant. Or these two: Biological clock. In fact, there are only three times you should ever bring up kiddos when out with a new guy: If you have one, if he has one, or if one’s screaming so loudly you need to leave the restaurant.
“There’s no such thing as small talk about kids; it’s always a loaded subject,” says Laura Leu, the sex and relationship expert at Stuff Magazine. Chris Suttile, a single guy in Chicago, says amen to that. “I barely know what I’m doing after lunch, let alone next week,” he says. “Kids = pressure, pressure, pressure... and pressure = no second date."
Heck, once you’ve got a few great dates under your belt, you can mention that you love buying your niece clothes at BabyGap. By that point, he’ll be comfortable and know it means that you’re a proud aunt, not that you’re planning on having your own baby ASAP.
Deal-breaker #3: Using pet names
So you and he are really hitting it off—by the time your entrees arrive, you can’t take your eyes off each other and you’re finishing each other’s sentences. It may feel like you’re an old married couple, but better not say, “How’s your tuna, Pookie?” unless Pookie is what’s printed on his driver’s license.
Less creative terms of endearment are also no-no’s, according to Mike Adams of Chicago. “On one date, by the end of dinner, I was being called "sweetie" and "honey"—repeatedly,” he says. “I’m all for pet names once you know someone, but never on a first date. It makes you feel trapped in a relationship that hasn’t even begun and probably just crash-landed before leaving the gate.”
Deal-breaker #4: Lusty story-telling
Christina Gregory of New York City just about fell off her chair when her date—a successful, seemingly mild-mannered guy—informed her he enjoys “sensual massages” on his lunch break. “I thought, ‘That’s it—I’m never going on another date again!’”
But it’s not just the freaky stuff that sends a potential suitor packing. “You shouldn’t talk about sex at all on a first date,” says Toni Coleman, Ph.D., a relationship expert based in Arlington, Virginia. That includes: What you’ve done in the past, what your friends are doing, and what you’re willing to do later tonight. Why? It’s too much, too soon—you risk making your date uncomfortable, Coleman explains. And believe it or not, he may be more skeeved than stoked to hear about your sexual prowess, says Leu. “Girls sometimes say provocative things the first night out with a guy because they think it makes them look sexy, but it can make them seem somewhat trashy.”
Deal-breaker #5: Talking about your pets
You say, “I have a cat.”He thinks, “That’s cool.”You say, “You have to meet Mr. Fluffum! I hope he likes you—he gets very jealous of other men! He does this thing where he sleeps on my tummy—it’s sooo cute!”He thinks: “Did she just call her cat Mr. Fluffum?!”
Unless you met your date at the dog run or a PETA rally, it’s best to keep conversations about furry friends to a minimum, says Charlotte Reed, a pet expert in New York. “Trust me, your date will think you are crazy if you say too much,” she says. Part of the problem is it’s hard to talk about your precious little Fido without talking in a squeaky baby voice—which sounds certifiable to everyone but you and Fido. And amazingly cute/heroic/gifted pet stories don’t translate well (we know, you had to be there!).
Plus, first dates are all about looking for subtle signs of weirdness—or not-so-subtle signs, such as teaching your cat to use the toilet. Pet talk can land you in the “rather odd” category before you have a chance to show what a cool person you really are. Bottom line: Let your new sweetie discover the magic of Mr. Fluffum in his or her own sweet time.
Lisa Lombardi is a New York-based writer and editor. Her work has appeared in Redbook, Child, Marie Claire, and Cosmopolitan. Her cat’s name is not Mr. Fluffum.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
All it takes is just one puff
Just a single drag on a cigarette may drag a teen into smoking addiction, a new study suggests.
Researchers say almost a third of kids interviewed who tried smoking said their first cigarette brought them a feeling of relaxation -- and two-thirds of those kids went on to become smokers. Another factor that appeared to somewhat up the risk for dependence was having seen an ad with Joe Camel -- the Camel cigarette brand's mascot between 1987 and 1997, the study found. Psychological factors -- such as being depressed and having a novelty-seeking personality -- also boosted the likelihood of addiction.
Researchers say almost a third of kids interviewed who tried smoking said their first cigarette brought them a feeling of relaxation -- and two-thirds of those kids went on to become smokers. Another factor that appeared to somewhat up the risk for dependence was having seen an ad with Joe Camel -- the Camel cigarette brand's mascot between 1987 and 1997, the study found. Psychological factors -- such as being depressed and having a novelty-seeking personality -- also boosted the likelihood of addiction.
Cholesterol and pregnant women
While lower cholesterol is generally considered a good thing, new research suggests that very low cholesterol levels in pregnant women may harm the health of the fetus.
Expectant mothers whose total cholesterol levels were under 159 milligrams per deciliter (mg/dL) gave birth -- on average -- to babies weighing about one-third of a pound less than babies born to mothers whose cholesterol levels exceeded 159 mg/dL, the researchers found. Additionally, 12.7 percent of white women with low cholesterol levels gave birth prematurely, compared to just five percent of those with higher cholesterol levels. No such association was found in black women, however.
Expectant mothers whose total cholesterol levels were under 159 milligrams per deciliter (mg/dL) gave birth -- on average -- to babies weighing about one-third of a pound less than babies born to mothers whose cholesterol levels exceeded 159 mg/dL, the researchers found. Additionally, 12.7 percent of white women with low cholesterol levels gave birth prematurely, compared to just five percent of those with higher cholesterol levels. No such association was found in black women, however.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
It's more than just hot fashes!
Menopause, the hormonal change in a woman's body in which her menstrual cycle stops, can happen as early as before age 40, but most often occurs in women between age 45 and 55.
The Foundation for Better Health Care lists these common symptoms of menopause: Missed period for at least 12 months, with no cause other than menopause. Abnormal periods for you, such as spotting, different cycles or a different flow. Vaginal dryness. Changes in weight, difficulty sleeping, night sweats and hot flashes. Difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, depression and moodiness. Osteoporosis. Pain or burning during urination, or loss or weakened bladder control.
The Foundation for Better Health Care lists these common symptoms of menopause: Missed period for at least 12 months, with no cause other than menopause. Abnormal periods for you, such as spotting, different cycles or a different flow. Vaginal dryness. Changes in weight, difficulty sleeping, night sweats and hot flashes. Difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, depression and moodiness. Osteoporosis. Pain or burning during urination, or loss or weakened bladder control.
How to tell a real offer from a scam
If your commute’s got you fried, the idea of a work-from-home is tempting.
However, lots of these offers are designed to COST you money - not make it. So, courtesy of the website About.com, here’s how to tell a real offer from a scam:
Find out how you’ll be paid. Some ‘jobs’ get you to work for nothing. For example, you post ads on internet bulletin boards, but you don’t earn anything until someone signs up. If that doesn’t happen, you’re out of luck.
If an offer guarantees you’ll get rich quick, leave it alone. Anything that sounds too good to be true is a financial trap.
They ask you to send money. Legitimate employers don't charge fees to hire you. They also don’t sell you information, software or kits to get you started.
Let someone else read the offer. Some scams are hard to detect. For example, you might receive a detailed contract that asks for banking information so your check can be direct deposited, but once they get your info, they drain your account and disappear. So let someone else take a second look at it.
Do your research. Look for the company on the Better Business and Federal Trade Commission websites. Also, try sites like ‘moneymakingmommies.com’ that list legitimate offers.
However, lots of these offers are designed to COST you money - not make it. So, courtesy of the website About.com, here’s how to tell a real offer from a scam:
Find out how you’ll be paid. Some ‘jobs’ get you to work for nothing. For example, you post ads on internet bulletin boards, but you don’t earn anything until someone signs up. If that doesn’t happen, you’re out of luck.
If an offer guarantees you’ll get rich quick, leave it alone. Anything that sounds too good to be true is a financial trap.
They ask you to send money. Legitimate employers don't charge fees to hire you. They also don’t sell you information, software or kits to get you started.
Let someone else read the offer. Some scams are hard to detect. For example, you might receive a detailed contract that asks for banking information so your check can be direct deposited, but once they get your info, they drain your account and disappear. So let someone else take a second look at it.
Do your research. Look for the company on the Better Business and Federal Trade Commission websites. Also, try sites like ‘moneymakingmommies.com’ that list legitimate offers.
5 Precious papers to hang on to
With some important documents, there's nothing like the original. Life will be easier if you keep these safe in your files.
1. The new-car sticker Also known as the "Monroney label," after the U.S. senator who advocated its creation in 1958, the window sticker on a new car is full of valuable data that can help you with:
Insurance claims
Recalls and
Enhancing the vehicle's future sale or trade-in value
2. Your tax returns -- all of them You can ditch all the supporting documentation after seven years, but the tax returns themselves should stay with you for life.
The IRS and state income tax agencies typically are limited in how long they can audit your returns -- unless they decide you didn't file for a certain year.
3. Home-improvement receipts If your home has gained more than $250,000 in value (or $500,000 for a couple), you'll want to look for ways to reduce your taxable profit when you sell. Receipts for home improvements can help you do that.
The cost of improvements can be added to your tax basis -- essentially, the price you originally paid for your home. That, in turn, can reduce your taxable profit.
4. Final account statements Collection agencies have found a new growth industry: people who have already paid their bills. Any time you make a final payment on a bill or a debt, keep the paperwork showing you've paid what you owed. Some examples include when you:
Switch cell-phone, land-line or long-distance providers
Cancel a health-club membership
Shut down utilities (such as when you move)
Close a credit card account
Pay off a loan
Complete a debt-management or debt-settlement plan
Making sure you get that last statement showing a "zero" balance and a closed account can also help you avoid getting sent to collections for ridiculously small debts.
5. Bankruptcy petition and discharge Another lively category of collections efforts is debt that's already been erased in bankruptcy court.
The legal obligation to pay a debt ends when it's discharged in bankruptcy, and collectors are supposed to cease dunning you for the bill.
1. The new-car sticker Also known as the "Monroney label," after the U.S. senator who advocated its creation in 1958, the window sticker on a new car is full of valuable data that can help you with:
Insurance claims
Recalls and
Enhancing the vehicle's future sale or trade-in value
2. Your tax returns -- all of them You can ditch all the supporting documentation after seven years, but the tax returns themselves should stay with you for life.
The IRS and state income tax agencies typically are limited in how long they can audit your returns -- unless they decide you didn't file for a certain year.
3. Home-improvement receipts If your home has gained more than $250,000 in value (or $500,000 for a couple), you'll want to look for ways to reduce your taxable profit when you sell. Receipts for home improvements can help you do that.
The cost of improvements can be added to your tax basis -- essentially, the price you originally paid for your home. That, in turn, can reduce your taxable profit.
4. Final account statements Collection agencies have found a new growth industry: people who have already paid their bills. Any time you make a final payment on a bill or a debt, keep the paperwork showing you've paid what you owed. Some examples include when you:
Switch cell-phone, land-line or long-distance providers
Cancel a health-club membership
Shut down utilities (such as when you move)
Close a credit card account
Pay off a loan
Complete a debt-management or debt-settlement plan
Making sure you get that last statement showing a "zero" balance and a closed account can also help you avoid getting sent to collections for ridiculously small debts.
5. Bankruptcy petition and discharge Another lively category of collections efforts is debt that's already been erased in bankruptcy court.
The legal obligation to pay a debt ends when it's discharged in bankruptcy, and collectors are supposed to cease dunning you for the bill.
5 most common dreams
Were you being chased last night? Did you appear naked at work again?
Lauri Loewenberg, author of “So What Did You Dream Last Night?” and founder of thedreamzone.com, helps interpret your dreams.
Falling
Since the beginning of time mankind has reported of dreaming of falling the most. First of all, it's not true that if you dream you are falling and you hit the ground you will die. I've yet to speak to any dead people who told me that's what they were dreaming at the time of their death! Falling in a dream is a red flag from your subconscious that something in your life — finances, a relationship, career, etc. — is rapidly going in the wrong direction. It means it is time to redirect the situation immediately! Falling dreams are also common for people who suffer from depression.
Being chased
When something or someone is hot on your heels in your dream, it's a good indication that you are avoiding something in waking life. When you get this dream, ask yourself, “Self, am I trying to avoid a confrontation with someone? Am I trying to get out of a responsibility or obligation? Or is there something from my past that I'm afraid might catch up with me?” Whatever the case may be, the message is the same: Stop running! Face the situation. Get it over with, otherwise the issue will continue to follow you ... and so will your “being chased” dreams.
Teeth falling out
This dream is not about your oral hygiene, so don't be calling your dentist just yet! Teeth — to your dreaming mind — are actually all about your words. If you dream your teeth are falling out, it means you need to take a good look at what you've been saying lately because you have been having loose speech! Perhaps you've been gossiping, or saying things without thinking about them first, maybe you are too blunt or you may have said something you wish you hadn't. This dream is telling you that some words have come out of your mouth that should have remained in there permanently ... like your teeth!
Back at school
This is one of those dreams that — even though you graduated 10, 20, even 50 years ago — you still continue to get. Usually, this dream is all about your job! Think about it, school is your first real job where you need to be on time, you need to be prepared and “have done your homework,” you are being tested and scrutinized, you want everyone to like you and you eventually want to move on up to the next level. Sounds a lot like the same pressures of your job now, doesn't it? You'll find yourself back in those cinder-blocked hallways, trying to find your locker, realizing you forgot about your test or even noticing you've nothing on but your Nikes, when you've got some sort of pressure or scrutiny at your job.
Spouse cheating on you
Unless you have a really good reason to suspect your mate of getting his or her pleasures elsewhere, I wouldn't start snooping through his or her drawers and pockets just yet! The cheating dream happens when your mate is spending too much time and attention on something that does not involve you. Usually the culprit is work. But it could also be the XBox or too much time with friends, etc. Whatever the case may be, this dream shows that you are feeling “cheated” out of your time with your sweetie. Let this dream be a wake-up call to you that the two of you need to find more quality time together.
3 easy steps to figuring out what your dreams mean
It's important to figure out what your dreams are telling you. They are intuition — the part of ourselves that knows what's best, they warn us, they inspire us, they let us know when we are going off track. So never dismiss them by saying “it's only a dream.” They have the answers you need right now for your life.
Sum it up into a movie title to give you that ah-ha moment.
Figure out the main conflict of the dream. How would you describe the main conflict of the dream? Are you trying to get away from something? Are you trying to find something? Are you fighting something?
Compare that conflict in the dream to your real-life day before the dream. That could give you clues. If you dreamt of running from a monster Tuesday day night, what happened Tuesday?
Ways to remember your dreams
Most important step is when you wake up in the morning, don't move from the position you woke up in. That's the position you were dreaming in. You will disconnect your memory from the dream.
Don't think about what you have to do today. Quiet your mind, and let the dream come back to you. You have 90 seconds before that dream fades away.
Whatever you remember, even if all you remember is a tiny piece, write it down. Dreaming happens in the same part of our brain where short-term memory is stored and if you don't write it down it will be gone after breakfast.
Lauri Loewenberg, author of “So What Did You Dream Last Night?” and founder of thedreamzone.com, helps interpret your dreams.
Falling
Since the beginning of time mankind has reported of dreaming of falling the most. First of all, it's not true that if you dream you are falling and you hit the ground you will die. I've yet to speak to any dead people who told me that's what they were dreaming at the time of their death! Falling in a dream is a red flag from your subconscious that something in your life — finances, a relationship, career, etc. — is rapidly going in the wrong direction. It means it is time to redirect the situation immediately! Falling dreams are also common for people who suffer from depression.
Being chased
When something or someone is hot on your heels in your dream, it's a good indication that you are avoiding something in waking life. When you get this dream, ask yourself, “Self, am I trying to avoid a confrontation with someone? Am I trying to get out of a responsibility or obligation? Or is there something from my past that I'm afraid might catch up with me?” Whatever the case may be, the message is the same: Stop running! Face the situation. Get it over with, otherwise the issue will continue to follow you ... and so will your “being chased” dreams.
Teeth falling out
This dream is not about your oral hygiene, so don't be calling your dentist just yet! Teeth — to your dreaming mind — are actually all about your words. If you dream your teeth are falling out, it means you need to take a good look at what you've been saying lately because you have been having loose speech! Perhaps you've been gossiping, or saying things without thinking about them first, maybe you are too blunt or you may have said something you wish you hadn't. This dream is telling you that some words have come out of your mouth that should have remained in there permanently ... like your teeth!
Back at school
This is one of those dreams that — even though you graduated 10, 20, even 50 years ago — you still continue to get. Usually, this dream is all about your job! Think about it, school is your first real job where you need to be on time, you need to be prepared and “have done your homework,” you are being tested and scrutinized, you want everyone to like you and you eventually want to move on up to the next level. Sounds a lot like the same pressures of your job now, doesn't it? You'll find yourself back in those cinder-blocked hallways, trying to find your locker, realizing you forgot about your test or even noticing you've nothing on but your Nikes, when you've got some sort of pressure or scrutiny at your job.
Spouse cheating on you
Unless you have a really good reason to suspect your mate of getting his or her pleasures elsewhere, I wouldn't start snooping through his or her drawers and pockets just yet! The cheating dream happens when your mate is spending too much time and attention on something that does not involve you. Usually the culprit is work. But it could also be the XBox or too much time with friends, etc. Whatever the case may be, this dream shows that you are feeling “cheated” out of your time with your sweetie. Let this dream be a wake-up call to you that the two of you need to find more quality time together.
3 easy steps to figuring out what your dreams mean
It's important to figure out what your dreams are telling you. They are intuition — the part of ourselves that knows what's best, they warn us, they inspire us, they let us know when we are going off track. So never dismiss them by saying “it's only a dream.” They have the answers you need right now for your life.
Sum it up into a movie title to give you that ah-ha moment.
Figure out the main conflict of the dream. How would you describe the main conflict of the dream? Are you trying to get away from something? Are you trying to find something? Are you fighting something?
Compare that conflict in the dream to your real-life day before the dream. That could give you clues. If you dreamt of running from a monster Tuesday day night, what happened Tuesday?
Ways to remember your dreams
Most important step is when you wake up in the morning, don't move from the position you woke up in. That's the position you were dreaming in. You will disconnect your memory from the dream.
Don't think about what you have to do today. Quiet your mind, and let the dream come back to you. You have 90 seconds before that dream fades away.
Whatever you remember, even if all you remember is a tiny piece, write it down. Dreaming happens in the same part of our brain where short-term memory is stored and if you don't write it down it will be gone after breakfast.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Get kids to help with housework
How Kids Can Help with Chores
Author: Diane Laney Fitzpatrick
Tired of being the maid in your own house? Get the whole family involved by turning housework into fun and games.
If you’re like most parents, you would like your children to help with housework, but it’s not easy. You bribe, cajole, beg and threaten and then end up doing the work yourself.If you’ve tried complicated reward systems and linking allowances to chores, but you now want simpler ways to get your kids to pitch in, help is on the way!Here are 13 surefire ways to get your kids to help with housework.
Get a feather duster. Despite the myriad of cleaning products, a feather duster is all you need to remove dust from your furniture and tables. Given something fluffy, your kids will love to dust for you.
Let them spray and wipe. Kids love spray bottles. Let them handle all the counters and surfaces that can be sprayed and wiped with a paper towel. Let them do some easy-to-reach windows, too. You may have to go over them again, but you’ll be surprised how well a child can do windows.
Your kids can so put away their clothes! Get different colored bins with handles for your children. As you fold laundry, put clothes in each child’s bin. On their way to bed each night, they can take up their bin and put away their laundry. On their way down each morning, they can bring down the empty bin. (These are a great place to put anything else you find around the house that belongs in your child’s bedroom.)
Make a game out of the most boring jobs. Divide up the socks between two children and have them play a “matching game” similar to Go Fish. When they get a match, they can fold the pair together and throw it in the “ocean” pile.
Hide a quarter in a cluttered room that your kids will find when the room is cleaned up. Finders keepers with the quarter.
Divide and conquer. When cleaning up an extra cluttered toy room or playroom, divide the room up into sections by running a strip of masking tape on the floor, from wall to wall, sectioning off the room. Assign each child a section to pick up.
Create a job jar. For really big jobs (like large playrooms and basements), jot down different jobs on slips of paper, fold them and put them in a jar or cap. Have your children pick a slip and do whatever is on the paper. Vary the jobs to keep it interesting. “Pick up anything Barbie and put it in the Barbie house.” “Clean up the corner between the windows.”
Dress for the occasion. Pass out aprons and painter caps and play Maid and Mister Fix-It.
Designate a kids’ cleaning day treat, something you all get to do when the chores are done. Run through the sprinkler. Bring out the bubbles. Eat Jello cubes. Drink juice in wine glasses.
Play delivery person. Put various things that need to be put away into a large basket with a handle. Have one of your children be the delivery person and put everything in its place.
Host a “Folding Party.” Divide laundry onto each child’s chair at the kitchen table. (You can divide up easy pieces to the younger ones, larger pieces to the oldest.) When all the children are finished folding the laundry on their chairs and putting it away, they get to sit down and have refreshments! (One Mom got into the spirit by sending her children invitations to her folding party. Her young son sent an RSVP saying he was very sorry, he couldn’t make it!)
Kids love charts! Make a simple chart of different chores and have your kids put a sticker under their name whenever they do a job for you.
Don’t forget thank-yous, hugs and praises. Everyone appreciates a pat on the back. They’ll be more willing to help out next time!
Author: Diane Laney Fitzpatrick
Tired of being the maid in your own house? Get the whole family involved by turning housework into fun and games.
If you’re like most parents, you would like your children to help with housework, but it’s not easy. You bribe, cajole, beg and threaten and then end up doing the work yourself.If you’ve tried complicated reward systems and linking allowances to chores, but you now want simpler ways to get your kids to pitch in, help is on the way!Here are 13 surefire ways to get your kids to help with housework.
Get a feather duster. Despite the myriad of cleaning products, a feather duster is all you need to remove dust from your furniture and tables. Given something fluffy, your kids will love to dust for you.
Let them spray and wipe. Kids love spray bottles. Let them handle all the counters and surfaces that can be sprayed and wiped with a paper towel. Let them do some easy-to-reach windows, too. You may have to go over them again, but you’ll be surprised how well a child can do windows.
Your kids can so put away their clothes! Get different colored bins with handles for your children. As you fold laundry, put clothes in each child’s bin. On their way to bed each night, they can take up their bin and put away their laundry. On their way down each morning, they can bring down the empty bin. (These are a great place to put anything else you find around the house that belongs in your child’s bedroom.)
Make a game out of the most boring jobs. Divide up the socks between two children and have them play a “matching game” similar to Go Fish. When they get a match, they can fold the pair together and throw it in the “ocean” pile.
Hide a quarter in a cluttered room that your kids will find when the room is cleaned up. Finders keepers with the quarter.
Divide and conquer. When cleaning up an extra cluttered toy room or playroom, divide the room up into sections by running a strip of masking tape on the floor, from wall to wall, sectioning off the room. Assign each child a section to pick up.
Create a job jar. For really big jobs (like large playrooms and basements), jot down different jobs on slips of paper, fold them and put them in a jar or cap. Have your children pick a slip and do whatever is on the paper. Vary the jobs to keep it interesting. “Pick up anything Barbie and put it in the Barbie house.” “Clean up the corner between the windows.”
Dress for the occasion. Pass out aprons and painter caps and play Maid and Mister Fix-It.
Designate a kids’ cleaning day treat, something you all get to do when the chores are done. Run through the sprinkler. Bring out the bubbles. Eat Jello cubes. Drink juice in wine glasses.
Play delivery person. Put various things that need to be put away into a large basket with a handle. Have one of your children be the delivery person and put everything in its place.
Host a “Folding Party.” Divide laundry onto each child’s chair at the kitchen table. (You can divide up easy pieces to the younger ones, larger pieces to the oldest.) When all the children are finished folding the laundry on their chairs and putting it away, they get to sit down and have refreshments! (One Mom got into the spirit by sending her children invitations to her folding party. Her young son sent an RSVP saying he was very sorry, he couldn’t make it!)
Kids love charts! Make a simple chart of different chores and have your kids put a sticker under their name whenever they do a job for you.
Don’t forget thank-yous, hugs and praises. Everyone appreciates a pat on the back. They’ll be more willing to help out next time!
Create codes for "I love you"
The Secret Ways You Say "I Love You"
With three kids in the house, you may have to get creative when you want to escape the crowd. So come up with a secret code phrase that lets you slip up to the bedroom, no questions asked. One of you will say, 'I think we should both go upstairs and fold the laundry,' The kids would never go near laundry, so it's a safe bet!
Whatever your secret code is, speaking a private language doesn't just give you two a charge - it actually has the power to strengthen your bond.
Get the whole scoop.
With three kids in the house, you may have to get creative when you want to escape the crowd. So come up with a secret code phrase that lets you slip up to the bedroom, no questions asked. One of you will say, 'I think we should both go upstairs and fold the laundry,' The kids would never go near laundry, so it's a safe bet!
Whatever your secret code is, speaking a private language doesn't just give you two a charge - it actually has the power to strengthen your bond.
Get the whole scoop.
Speed Cleaning
Fake a Clean Home
By Alonna Friedman
Friends coming over in T-minus 30 minutes? Save yourself a freak-out with our cheater's guide to speed-cleaning.
1. DECLUTTER
Do a pass-through of key rooms, picking up clutter as you go. Forget about putting things in their proper places. Just collect any of the following and put in a closet:
Catalogs, bills, and newspapers
Pets' toys
Handbags and shoes
Sports equipment
Stray DVDs
Time: 4 minutes
2. WIPE DOWN
Slap on your gloves and carry all of these items in a small cleaning caddy so you can easily move from room to room.
Spray an all-purpose cleaner on your kitchen countertop and wipe away grime with paper towels or a microfiber cloth.Remove fingerprints from stainless steel surfaces using a glass cleaner, specialty cleaner, or plain water and a cloth.Wipe down the dining table and other surfaces like a china cabinet or server (if you have hardwood, just remove dust with a damp rag or microfiber cloth).Spray the bathroom sink, vanity, and counters with an all-purpose disinfectant.Wipe down the outer edge of the tub (it's something all guests will see) and pull the curtain or shower door closed.Clean the mirror with vinegar and wipe with newsprint (odd but it works). Paper towels leave a fuzzy residue.Spritz all outside surfaces of the toilet with disinfectant before moving inside. Wipe clean.Lift the toilet seat lid and spray cleaner on the top and bottom, then squeeze bowl cleaner under the rim or pour in a cup of cleaner. Use a toilet brush to scrub under the rim and inside of the bowl. Flush.
Time: 10 minutes
3. SWIFF
pronunciation: 'swiff'function: verb 1: the action of using a Swiffer2: a lifestyle choice for Nest editors
Swiff your coffee table after spraying it with an all-purpose cleaner. Next, tackle the TV (including screen) and entertainment center and quickly swiff any frames and collectibles on display. Then, swiff the floors in the kitchen, living room, and bathroom -- and finish up by defurring couches and chairs with a lint roller.
Time: 5 minutes
4. EMPTY
Clear out the sink. This is self-explanatory. Just put dishes into the dishwasher.Empty the wastepaper basket in the bathroom.Take out the trash.
Time: 2 minutes
5. RESTOCK
Put out fresh hand towels, a box of tissues, extra TP, air freshener, and hand soap.Do a chair count and haul out the extras.Replenish your table with fresh placemats if there are stains on the current set, or flip them over to the clean side.Fill the napkin holder.
Time: 4 minutes
6. DISPLAY
Take out serving dishes and wine glasses (check for smudge spots) so they are within reach when guests arrive.Fluff and arrange wayward throw pillows and push in couch cushions that may be off-kilter.Make an instant centerpiece by throwing fruit or vegetables into a decorative bowl in the center of the dining table.Dim the lights and light candles. Nothing hides cleaning imperfections better.Put on your game face. People are at the door!
Time: 4 minutes
By Alonna Friedman
Friends coming over in T-minus 30 minutes? Save yourself a freak-out with our cheater's guide to speed-cleaning.
1. DECLUTTER
Do a pass-through of key rooms, picking up clutter as you go. Forget about putting things in their proper places. Just collect any of the following and put in a closet:
Catalogs, bills, and newspapers
Pets' toys
Handbags and shoes
Sports equipment
Stray DVDs
Time: 4 minutes
2. WIPE DOWN
Slap on your gloves and carry all of these items in a small cleaning caddy so you can easily move from room to room.
Spray an all-purpose cleaner on your kitchen countertop and wipe away grime with paper towels or a microfiber cloth.Remove fingerprints from stainless steel surfaces using a glass cleaner, specialty cleaner, or plain water and a cloth.Wipe down the dining table and other surfaces like a china cabinet or server (if you have hardwood, just remove dust with a damp rag or microfiber cloth).Spray the bathroom sink, vanity, and counters with an all-purpose disinfectant.Wipe down the outer edge of the tub (it's something all guests will see) and pull the curtain or shower door closed.Clean the mirror with vinegar and wipe with newsprint (odd but it works). Paper towels leave a fuzzy residue.Spritz all outside surfaces of the toilet with disinfectant before moving inside. Wipe clean.Lift the toilet seat lid and spray cleaner on the top and bottom, then squeeze bowl cleaner under the rim or pour in a cup of cleaner. Use a toilet brush to scrub under the rim and inside of the bowl. Flush.
Time: 10 minutes
3. SWIFF
pronunciation: 'swiff'function: verb 1: the action of using a Swiffer2: a lifestyle choice for Nest editors
Swiff your coffee table after spraying it with an all-purpose cleaner. Next, tackle the TV (including screen) and entertainment center and quickly swiff any frames and collectibles on display. Then, swiff the floors in the kitchen, living room, and bathroom -- and finish up by defurring couches and chairs with a lint roller.
Time: 5 minutes
4. EMPTY
Clear out the sink. This is self-explanatory. Just put dishes into the dishwasher.Empty the wastepaper basket in the bathroom.Take out the trash.
Time: 2 minutes
5. RESTOCK
Put out fresh hand towels, a box of tissues, extra TP, air freshener, and hand soap.Do a chair count and haul out the extras.Replenish your table with fresh placemats if there are stains on the current set, or flip them over to the clean side.Fill the napkin holder.
Time: 4 minutes
6. DISPLAY
Take out serving dishes and wine glasses (check for smudge spots) so they are within reach when guests arrive.Fluff and arrange wayward throw pillows and push in couch cushions that may be off-kilter.Make an instant centerpiece by throwing fruit or vegetables into a decorative bowl in the center of the dining table.Dim the lights and light candles. Nothing hides cleaning imperfections better.Put on your game face. People are at the door!
Time: 4 minutes
Think Pink!
Today begins National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
Many organizations are dedicated to curing breast cancer at every stage - from the causes to the cures, to the pain and anxiety of every moment in between. That's the mission of the Susan G. Komen Foundation. To save lives and end breast cancer forever by empowering people, ensuring quality care for all and energizing science to find the cures. The City Of Hope, an innovative biomedical research, treatment and educational institution, is dedicated to the prevention and cure of cancer and other life-threatening diseases, guided by a compassionate patient-centered philosophy, and supported by a national foundation of humanitarian philanthropy.
Many organizations are dedicated to curing breast cancer at every stage - from the causes to the cures, to the pain and anxiety of every moment in between. That's the mission of the Susan G. Komen Foundation. To save lives and end breast cancer forever by empowering people, ensuring quality care for all and energizing science to find the cures. The City Of Hope, an innovative biomedical research, treatment and educational institution, is dedicated to the prevention and cure of cancer and other life-threatening diseases, guided by a compassionate patient-centered philosophy, and supported by a national foundation of humanitarian philanthropy.
Kids and heart attacks
Kids having heart attacks?
Doctors in Ohio say it happens, but it's an "under-appreciated phenomenon." They've published a report documenting nine cases in over 11 years, saying that the rare attacks are often caused by spasms. They say parents should consult a doctor anytime a child has a sudden chest pain.
Doctors in Ohio say it happens, but it's an "under-appreciated phenomenon." They've published a report documenting nine cases in over 11 years, saying that the rare attacks are often caused by spasms. They say parents should consult a doctor anytime a child has a sudden chest pain.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Ten Ways to Improve Your Interpersonal Skills
Don't discount the importance of interpersonal skills in the workplace. How you are perceived by your manager and coworkers plays a large role in things as minor as your day-to-day happiness at the office and as major as the future of your career.
No matter how hard you work or how many brilliant ideas you may have, if you can't connect with the people working around you, your professional life will suffer. The good news is that there are several concrete things you can do to improve your social skills and become closer to your colleagues, all of which will ultimately help you succeed in today's working world.
Try these 10 helpful tips for improving your interpersonal skills:
Smile. Few people want to be around someone who is always down in the dumps. Do your best to be friendly and upbeat with your coworkers. Maintain a positive, cheerful attitude about work and about life. Smile often. The positive energy you radiate will draw others to you.
Be appreciative. Find one positive thing about everyone you work with and let them hear it. Be generous with praise and kind words of encouragement. Say thanks when someone helps you. Make colleagues feel welcome when they call or stop by your office. If you let others know that they are appreciated, they'll want to give you their best.
Pay attention to others. Observe what's going on in other people's lives. Acknowledge their happy milestones and express concern and sympathy for difficult situations such as an illness or death. Make eye contact and address people by their first names. Ask others for their opinions.
Practice active listening. Actively listening is a way of demonstrating that you intend to hear and understand another's point of view. It means restating, in your own words, what the other person has said. Your coworkers will appreciate knowing you really do listen to what they have to say.
Bring people together. Create an environment that encourages others to work together. Treat everyone equally and don't play favorites. Avoid talking about others behind their backs. Follow up on other people's suggestions or requests. When you make a statement or announcement, check to see that you have been understood. If folks see you as someone solid and fair, they will grow to trust you.
Resolve conflicts. Take a step beyond simply bringing people together and become someone who resolves conflicts when they arise. Learn how to be an effective mediator. If coworkers are bickering over personal or professional disagreements, arrange to sit down with both parties and help sort out their differences. By taking on such a leadership role, you will garner respect and admiration from those around you.
Communicate clearly. Pay close attention to both what you say and how you say it. Being a clear and effective communicator helps you avoid misunderstandings with coworkers. Verbal eloquence projects an image of intelligence and maturity, no matter what your age. If you tend to blurt out anything that comes to mind, people won't put much weight on your words or opinions.
Humor them. Don't be afraid to be funny or clever. Most people are drawn to a person that can make them laugh. Use your sense of humor as an effective tool to lower barriers and gain people's affection.
See it from their side. Empathy means being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes and understand how they feel. Try to see things from another person's perspective. You can help yourself with this by staying in touch with your own emotions, since those who are cut off from their feelings are often unable to empathize with others.
Don't complain. There is nothing worse than a chronic complainer or whiner. If you simply have to vent about something, save it for your diary. But spare those around you, or else you'll get a bad reputation.
No matter how hard you work or how many brilliant ideas you may have, if you can't connect with the people working around you, your professional life will suffer. The good news is that there are several concrete things you can do to improve your social skills and become closer to your colleagues, all of which will ultimately help you succeed in today's working world.
Try these 10 helpful tips for improving your interpersonal skills:
Smile. Few people want to be around someone who is always down in the dumps. Do your best to be friendly and upbeat with your coworkers. Maintain a positive, cheerful attitude about work and about life. Smile often. The positive energy you radiate will draw others to you.
Be appreciative. Find one positive thing about everyone you work with and let them hear it. Be generous with praise and kind words of encouragement. Say thanks when someone helps you. Make colleagues feel welcome when they call or stop by your office. If you let others know that they are appreciated, they'll want to give you their best.
Pay attention to others. Observe what's going on in other people's lives. Acknowledge their happy milestones and express concern and sympathy for difficult situations such as an illness or death. Make eye contact and address people by their first names. Ask others for their opinions.
Practice active listening. Actively listening is a way of demonstrating that you intend to hear and understand another's point of view. It means restating, in your own words, what the other person has said. Your coworkers will appreciate knowing you really do listen to what they have to say.
Bring people together. Create an environment that encourages others to work together. Treat everyone equally and don't play favorites. Avoid talking about others behind their backs. Follow up on other people's suggestions or requests. When you make a statement or announcement, check to see that you have been understood. If folks see you as someone solid and fair, they will grow to trust you.
Resolve conflicts. Take a step beyond simply bringing people together and become someone who resolves conflicts when they arise. Learn how to be an effective mediator. If coworkers are bickering over personal or professional disagreements, arrange to sit down with both parties and help sort out their differences. By taking on such a leadership role, you will garner respect and admiration from those around you.
Communicate clearly. Pay close attention to both what you say and how you say it. Being a clear and effective communicator helps you avoid misunderstandings with coworkers. Verbal eloquence projects an image of intelligence and maturity, no matter what your age. If you tend to blurt out anything that comes to mind, people won't put much weight on your words or opinions.
Humor them. Don't be afraid to be funny or clever. Most people are drawn to a person that can make them laugh. Use your sense of humor as an effective tool to lower barriers and gain people's affection.
See it from their side. Empathy means being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes and understand how they feel. Try to see things from another person's perspective. You can help yourself with this by staying in touch with your own emotions, since those who are cut off from their feelings are often unable to empathize with others.
Don't complain. There is nothing worse than a chronic complainer or whiner. If you simply have to vent about something, save it for your diary. But spare those around you, or else you'll get a bad reputation.
6 strategies for successful complaints
Whether the issue is a lumpy hotel bed or a fraudulent charge on your credit card, victory at the complaint counter hinges more on strategy than on the volume of your voice.
Don't be bullied
HOW TO HANDLE A BULLY
(AskMen.com)
Understand the bully: In reality, a bully has a very poor self-image and a total lack of people skills. The bully's attempt to control or overpower people stems from his fear of being insignificant, while his know-it-all behavior has its roots in his dread of being wrong. To combat his own self-esteem issues, a bully usually treats people offhandedly, disrespectfully and dismissively.
Stand up to the bully: It is important to be assertive the moment you sense a bully infringing on you; however, while this early stand may prevent escalation, it may also result in you getting your ass kicked. Generally, a bully has a "baiting" period at the onset of his reign, to see who is susceptible to bullying. If you don't show any signs of weakness, he'll realize that you're not susceptible and will eventually retreat to find somebody else to torment. This early assertiveness needn't be physical -- just speak with authority and confidence to demonstrate a commanding presence.
Laugh off the bully: Although it takes great guts to laugh off the hulking bully who stands before you, it is a surprisingly effective technique. You must understand that there are two ways to use laughter: You can either choose to laugh with the bully, which will position you as a harmless guy not worthy of pursuit, or you can laugh at the bully, effectively calling his bluff and humiliating him publicly. However, if not done convincingly, the latter option could result in your rear getting kicked -- again.
Distract the bully: Distracting the bully will buy you more time and temporarily deflect his attention from you. They say attack is the best form of defense, so defend yourself by attacking somebody else. Before your gym-going competitor can brag about his max lift versus yours, for instance, bring the bully's attention to the scrawnier guy across the room. If this scrawny guy looks weaker and frailer than you, then you can be guaranteed that the bully will have something to say about him and hopefully, in the process, he'll forget about you.
Attack the bully: If actions speak louder than words, then you must attack the bully directly. Study him to find out where his weaknesses are and, the next time he approaches you, rip into his insecurities. If you know that the bullying soccer dad's weakness is losing, for example, constantly remind him of the time his son lost an important game two years ago. His son may well have won every game since, but you can bet that his son's one failure remains very fresh in the bully's mind. However, be prepared for the consequences if you push that "Do Not Touch" red button one too many times.
(AskMen.com)
Understand the bully: In reality, a bully has a very poor self-image and a total lack of people skills. The bully's attempt to control or overpower people stems from his fear of being insignificant, while his know-it-all behavior has its roots in his dread of being wrong. To combat his own self-esteem issues, a bully usually treats people offhandedly, disrespectfully and dismissively.
Stand up to the bully: It is important to be assertive the moment you sense a bully infringing on you; however, while this early stand may prevent escalation, it may also result in you getting your ass kicked. Generally, a bully has a "baiting" period at the onset of his reign, to see who is susceptible to bullying. If you don't show any signs of weakness, he'll realize that you're not susceptible and will eventually retreat to find somebody else to torment. This early assertiveness needn't be physical -- just speak with authority and confidence to demonstrate a commanding presence.
Laugh off the bully: Although it takes great guts to laugh off the hulking bully who stands before you, it is a surprisingly effective technique. You must understand that there are two ways to use laughter: You can either choose to laugh with the bully, which will position you as a harmless guy not worthy of pursuit, or you can laugh at the bully, effectively calling his bluff and humiliating him publicly. However, if not done convincingly, the latter option could result in your rear getting kicked -- again.
Distract the bully: Distracting the bully will buy you more time and temporarily deflect his attention from you. They say attack is the best form of defense, so defend yourself by attacking somebody else. Before your gym-going competitor can brag about his max lift versus yours, for instance, bring the bully's attention to the scrawnier guy across the room. If this scrawny guy looks weaker and frailer than you, then you can be guaranteed that the bully will have something to say about him and hopefully, in the process, he'll forget about you.
Attack the bully: If actions speak louder than words, then you must attack the bully directly. Study him to find out where his weaknesses are and, the next time he approaches you, rip into his insecurities. If you know that the bullying soccer dad's weakness is losing, for example, constantly remind him of the time his son lost an important game two years ago. His son may well have won every game since, but you can bet that his son's one failure remains very fresh in the bully's mind. However, be prepared for the consequences if you push that "Do Not Touch" red button one too many times.
Go outside and play tomorrow!
It's something many a parent has said to a child: turn off that TV and go outside and play.
Come tomorrow, one TV network will do its part -- by turning itself off for a while. Nickelodeon will go dark for three hours in an effort to get its viewers to get out and exercise. It's the fourth annual worldwide day of play and it begins at noon. Later, Nickelodeon will highlight kids who been inspired to get more exercise. One is Kenderick, a 13-year-old boy from Little Rock, Arkansas. He says he's dropped 40 pounds since getting into the workout groove in April.
Come tomorrow, one TV network will do its part -- by turning itself off for a while. Nickelodeon will go dark for three hours in an effort to get its viewers to get out and exercise. It's the fourth annual worldwide day of play and it begins at noon. Later, Nickelodeon will highlight kids who been inspired to get more exercise. One is Kenderick, a 13-year-old boy from Little Rock, Arkansas. He says he's dropped 40 pounds since getting into the workout groove in April.
How much do you know about hormone therapy?
Fewer than one third of women 40 to 60 years old have heard about the landmark study that found the risks of hormone therapy for most menopausal women probably outweigh their benefits.
And just 40 percent got more answers right than wrong on a series of questions about whether hormone therapy increased or reduced the risk of seven different conditions, according to the report in Menopause: The Journal of the North American Menopause Society. The findings show that new approaches are needed for conveying important medical information to the public.
And just 40 percent got more answers right than wrong on a series of questions about whether hormone therapy increased or reduced the risk of seven different conditions, according to the report in Menopause: The Journal of the North American Menopause Society. The findings show that new approaches are needed for conveying important medical information to the public.
Volunteer your time and talents
If you'd like to help a charity but don't know how to get started. Check out Volunteer Broward and they can help you begin.
They refer individuals and groups to over 600 nonprofit organizations in Broward County, Florida. The need for volunteers is constant and overwhelming. There are literally thousands of volunteer opportunities to choose from.
They refer individuals and groups to over 600 nonprofit organizations in Broward County, Florida. The need for volunteers is constant and overwhelming. There are literally thousands of volunteer opportunities to choose from.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
14th Annual Celebrity Chefs Food Tasting & Auction
The event is tomorrow September 28th at 7pm. You can help the Ann Storck Center.
Get all the details of the event here.
Get all the details of the event here.
Star in your own romance novel
Personalized romance novels can get your lazy lover going. A cool website called
your novel.com allows couples to answer a quick questionnaire and send in pictures of themselves so you can star in a romance novel. You just pick if you want it "mild" or "wild".
Hubba-hubba!!!
your novel.com allows couples to answer a quick questionnaire and send in pictures of themselves so you can star in a romance novel. You just pick if you want it "mild" or "wild".
Hubba-hubba!!!
The freshman mindset
The freshmen mindset list- Here's what your young people graduating in 2010 know about the world, and now, you will, too!
They have only known 2 presidents,
They grew up in minivans, not station wagons,
Google has always been a verb,
Text messaging is their mail,
They have rarely ever used a postage stamp,
Reality shows have always been on TV
The Soviet Union has never existed,
There's always only been ONE Germany,
And finally, a cup of coffee takes longer to make than a milkshake- I know...that's just wrong, but it still tastes so darned good...
They have only known 2 presidents,
They grew up in minivans, not station wagons,
Google has always been a verb,
Text messaging is their mail,
They have rarely ever used a postage stamp,
Reality shows have always been on TV
The Soviet Union has never existed,
There's always only been ONE Germany,
And finally, a cup of coffee takes longer to make than a milkshake- I know...that's just wrong, but it still tastes so darned good...
Breast cancer link with alcohol
Researchers say women who have just one or two drinks a day increase their risk of breast cancer by 10 percent, regardless of whether it's beer, wine or liquor. One cancer expert calls it "a hugely underestimated riskfactor."
Previous studies have shown a link between alcohol consumption and breast cancer, but there have been conflicting messages about the effects of different kinds of alcohol. They found no difference in the risk of developing breast cancer among women who drank wine, beer or liquor. But women who had one or two drinks a day increased their risk by 10 percent. Women who drank more than three drinks a day raised their risk by 30 percent.
The lead researcher, Dr. Arthur Klatsky of the U.S., says it's more evidence on why heavy drinkers should quit or at least cutdown.
Previous studies have shown a link between alcohol consumption and breast cancer, but there have been conflicting messages about the effects of different kinds of alcohol. They found no difference in the risk of developing breast cancer among women who drank wine, beer or liquor. But women who had one or two drinks a day increased their risk by 10 percent. Women who drank more than three drinks a day raised their risk by 30 percent.
The lead researcher, Dr. Arthur Klatsky of the U.S., says it's more evidence on why heavy drinkers should quit or at least cutdown.
Ways to save your relationship
Top Ten Ways to Save Your Relationship
(from Romancetracker.com)
1. Make your sweetheart your number one priority
We all have responsibilities in our lives that take us away from our families and lovers, and fulfilling those responsibilities is part of being a good partner and a romantic person. But even if you can’t spend as much time with your sweetheart as you would like, there are lots of ways to make it clear to them that they are still the number-one priority in your life.
2. Learn about your sweetheart’s interests
We all bring unique interests, hobbies and talents to a relationship, and learning about your lover’s tastes and skills is a great way to appreciate them more and share rewarding time together. Learning from each other and experiencing new things as a couple will bring you closer together, make your relationship more exciting and expand your horizons.
3. Brag about your relationship
No one likes a loudmouth who never shuts up about their love life, but telling your friends, family and coworkers about how much you love your romantic relationship is a great way to make your sweetheart feel appreciated and make you excited about your romance. Making it a habit to tastefully mention how thankful you are to have your lover will only make your relationship stronger.
4. Say “I’m proud of you” to your sweetheart
Everyone likes to feel that they are appreciated, and telling your lover that you are proud of them is one of the simplest . . . and least used . . . ways to make them feel good about themselves and your romantic relationship. Whether you’re telling them how much you appreciate the job they do, their role in your relationship, or their sacrifices, “I’m proud of you” are four of the most effective words you can use to save your romance.
5. Lead by example
Keeping score of who’s more romantic in your relationship is one of the worstways to promote romance in your relationship. Just as members of any successful team have learned, the best way to encourage a certain kind of behavior in others is to lead by example. So be more romantic with your lover, but don’t insist they do the same. With enough encouragement, you may be surprised to see them start to come around themselves.
6. Call in sick to work to spend time with your sweetheart
I’m not saying you should try to get fired from your job, but if you’re doing well at work there is nothing wrong with taking a tiny holiday to spend time with the most important person in your life. Briefly putting off other responsibilities to be with your lover is a great way to show them that they are the number one priority in your world.
7. Introduce some competition into your relationship
No, I don’t mean to make your sweetheart jealous by dating another person. But a little good-natured romantic competition–whether it’s through competitive games, contests, sports, or bets–can be a terrific way to add a little excitement, interaction, and playfulness into your relationship.
8. Compliment your sweetheart every now and then
Sure, it’s easy to overdo compliments and come across as over-the-top or insincere. But regardless of whether or not your lover knows how you feel about them, a simple, kind compliment once in a while goes a long way in making them feel good about themselves and your relationship.
9. Get over your fear of coming across as too “clingy”
There’s a big difference between being tastefully romantic with your sweetheart and being “clingy.” Hand-holding, simple kisses on the cheek and other subtle acts of love are nothing to be ashamed of. It shows your lover that you aren’t embarrassed of your romance and will add a much-needed dimension to your relationship.
10. Learn to love yourself
Part of the reason why some people have a difficult time appreciating romantic gestures is that they don’t understand why their lover is so fond of them. Learning to appreciate your own talents, gifts and innate goodness will help you appreciate your sweetheart’s feelings and let you accentuate your best qualities. Ultimately, learning to love yourself will teach you how to love your romantic partner more.
(from Romancetracker.com)
1. Make your sweetheart your number one priority
We all have responsibilities in our lives that take us away from our families and lovers, and fulfilling those responsibilities is part of being a good partner and a romantic person. But even if you can’t spend as much time with your sweetheart as you would like, there are lots of ways to make it clear to them that they are still the number-one priority in your life.
2. Learn about your sweetheart’s interests
We all bring unique interests, hobbies and talents to a relationship, and learning about your lover’s tastes and skills is a great way to appreciate them more and share rewarding time together. Learning from each other and experiencing new things as a couple will bring you closer together, make your relationship more exciting and expand your horizons.
3. Brag about your relationship
No one likes a loudmouth who never shuts up about their love life, but telling your friends, family and coworkers about how much you love your romantic relationship is a great way to make your sweetheart feel appreciated and make you excited about your romance. Making it a habit to tastefully mention how thankful you are to have your lover will only make your relationship stronger.
4. Say “I’m proud of you” to your sweetheart
Everyone likes to feel that they are appreciated, and telling your lover that you are proud of them is one of the simplest . . . and least used . . . ways to make them feel good about themselves and your romantic relationship. Whether you’re telling them how much you appreciate the job they do, their role in your relationship, or their sacrifices, “I’m proud of you” are four of the most effective words you can use to save your romance.
5. Lead by example
Keeping score of who’s more romantic in your relationship is one of the worstways to promote romance in your relationship. Just as members of any successful team have learned, the best way to encourage a certain kind of behavior in others is to lead by example. So be more romantic with your lover, but don’t insist they do the same. With enough encouragement, you may be surprised to see them start to come around themselves.
6. Call in sick to work to spend time with your sweetheart
I’m not saying you should try to get fired from your job, but if you’re doing well at work there is nothing wrong with taking a tiny holiday to spend time with the most important person in your life. Briefly putting off other responsibilities to be with your lover is a great way to show them that they are the number one priority in your world.
7. Introduce some competition into your relationship
No, I don’t mean to make your sweetheart jealous by dating another person. But a little good-natured romantic competition–whether it’s through competitive games, contests, sports, or bets–can be a terrific way to add a little excitement, interaction, and playfulness into your relationship.
8. Compliment your sweetheart every now and then
Sure, it’s easy to overdo compliments and come across as over-the-top or insincere. But regardless of whether or not your lover knows how you feel about them, a simple, kind compliment once in a while goes a long way in making them feel good about themselves and your relationship.
9. Get over your fear of coming across as too “clingy”
There’s a big difference between being tastefully romantic with your sweetheart and being “clingy.” Hand-holding, simple kisses on the cheek and other subtle acts of love are nothing to be ashamed of. It shows your lover that you aren’t embarrassed of your romance and will add a much-needed dimension to your relationship.
10. Learn to love yourself
Part of the reason why some people have a difficult time appreciating romantic gestures is that they don’t understand why their lover is so fond of them. Learning to appreciate your own talents, gifts and innate goodness will help you appreciate your sweetheart’s feelings and let you accentuate your best qualities. Ultimately, learning to love yourself will teach you how to love your romantic partner more.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Burying your goldfish will help your teen
Parents and teens may not see eye-to-eye, but one writer is trying to help parents get their message across. In the book, "How to bury a gold fish: and other ceremonies for everyday life" the author believes that performing small ceremonies, like flushing a goldfish down the toilet, father son journeys, or celebratory haircuts with your teen will help them from becoming depressed and withdrawn.
How to Bury a Goldfish instills meaning in the passages of everyday life. It melds many of the world's oldest traditions with contemporary celebrations, allowing people to honor life's events in tangible ways. Not a book of complex rituals with several elements, this is a collection of simple celebrations for anyone in the family.
The "rituals" the authors describe are so basic that it's hard to believe a publisher was interested in putting out this book -- such novel ideas as having family members write down resolutions on New Year's Eve and help each other through the year with sticking to the resolutions, writing "I love you" on the napkin you put in your child's lunch, taking your child's picture every year on the first day of school. The book is in stores now.
How to Bury a Goldfish instills meaning in the passages of everyday life. It melds many of the world's oldest traditions with contemporary celebrations, allowing people to honor life's events in tangible ways. Not a book of complex rituals with several elements, this is a collection of simple celebrations for anyone in the family.
The "rituals" the authors describe are so basic that it's hard to believe a publisher was interested in putting out this book -- such novel ideas as having family members write down resolutions on New Year's Eve and help each other through the year with sticking to the resolutions, writing "I love you" on the napkin you put in your child's lunch, taking your child's picture every year on the first day of school. The book is in stores now.
Got a headache?
How to stop a headache before it starts
8 drug-free tips to avoid agony and painproof your day
By Jaydine Sayer
Self Magazine
7 a.m.: Abide the alarm Snoozing in for more than an hour can disrupt your sleep-wake cycle, and anything that tinkers with your body’s natural rhythms may prime you for pain, says Lisa Mannix, M.D., a spokeswoman for the National Headache Foundation in Chicago. Commit to waking up (and going to bed) at the same time every day — yes, that includes weekends, too.
7:45 a.m.: Get caffeinated If you often have a pick-me-up drink (coffee, tea or soda), by all means keep enjoying it, says Richard Lipton, M.D., professor of neurology at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in Bronx, New York. Caffeine activates receptors in your brain; skip your fix and your head might surely revolt.
10:45 a.m.: Do a posture check Are you sitting up straight with your shoulders down and back? If not, readjust. The main sensory nerve in your forehead is rooted in the base of your neck — which is why experiencing muscle tension there or in your shoulders can lead to head pain.
11:30 a.m.: Break for H2O Doctors know dehydration is a common trigger of headaches. But ask them to explain why, and they have no clear answer. Maybe it hurts their head to think about it too much. Either way, fill up on fluids frequently. Keep a water bottle at your desk, and refill it several times throughout the day.
12:30 p.m.: Skip the sandwich Certain substances such as nitrates (in lunch meats), tyramine (in soft cheeses) and MSG (in some Chinese dishes) can alter neurotransmitters and spark a migraine in susceptible people. (Download a headache log at Self.com to identify your food triggers.) Have a protein and healthy fat to avoid the sugar crash that a meal of only simple carbs can induce.
3 p.m.: Take a time-out When you’re overly anxious, the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline surge, which prompts your body to pump out sugar. The rapid change in glucose can set you up for pain. But giving yourself a few minutes to decompress can keep stress from getting to you.
6 p.m.: Slip into your sneakers Exercise increases circulation, relieves physical and mental tension and improves sleep, all of which help fight off aches. Need to inject excitement into your routine (or start one to begin with)? Check out the Reach Your Goal plan at Self.com.
8:30 p.m.: Wind down slowly When you instantly crash on the couch, your brain chemicals continue to rev. That imbalance may contribute to what is called a let-down headache. Because it’s smart to give your body and mind some transition time do a calming activity — try a few stretches, curl up with a book, whatever you like. Come time for bed, you’ll be relaxed, happy and ready for a new day.
8 drug-free tips to avoid agony and painproof your day
By Jaydine Sayer
Self Magazine
7 a.m.: Abide the alarm Snoozing in for more than an hour can disrupt your sleep-wake cycle, and anything that tinkers with your body’s natural rhythms may prime you for pain, says Lisa Mannix, M.D., a spokeswoman for the National Headache Foundation in Chicago. Commit to waking up (and going to bed) at the same time every day — yes, that includes weekends, too.
7:45 a.m.: Get caffeinated If you often have a pick-me-up drink (coffee, tea or soda), by all means keep enjoying it, says Richard Lipton, M.D., professor of neurology at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in Bronx, New York. Caffeine activates receptors in your brain; skip your fix and your head might surely revolt.
10:45 a.m.: Do a posture check Are you sitting up straight with your shoulders down and back? If not, readjust. The main sensory nerve in your forehead is rooted in the base of your neck — which is why experiencing muscle tension there or in your shoulders can lead to head pain.
11:30 a.m.: Break for H2O Doctors know dehydration is a common trigger of headaches. But ask them to explain why, and they have no clear answer. Maybe it hurts their head to think about it too much. Either way, fill up on fluids frequently. Keep a water bottle at your desk, and refill it several times throughout the day.
12:30 p.m.: Skip the sandwich Certain substances such as nitrates (in lunch meats), tyramine (in soft cheeses) and MSG (in some Chinese dishes) can alter neurotransmitters and spark a migraine in susceptible people. (Download a headache log at Self.com to identify your food triggers.) Have a protein and healthy fat to avoid the sugar crash that a meal of only simple carbs can induce.
3 p.m.: Take a time-out When you’re overly anxious, the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline surge, which prompts your body to pump out sugar. The rapid change in glucose can set you up for pain. But giving yourself a few minutes to decompress can keep stress from getting to you.
6 p.m.: Slip into your sneakers Exercise increases circulation, relieves physical and mental tension and improves sleep, all of which help fight off aches. Need to inject excitement into your routine (or start one to begin with)? Check out the Reach Your Goal plan at Self.com.
8:30 p.m.: Wind down slowly When you instantly crash on the couch, your brain chemicals continue to rev. That imbalance may contribute to what is called a let-down headache. Because it’s smart to give your body and mind some transition time do a calming activity — try a few stretches, curl up with a book, whatever you like. Come time for bed, you’ll be relaxed, happy and ready for a new day.
When to start parenting your parents
When your aging parent needs help, it's often up to you.
Here are 24 tips on how to make it work. As much as you might want to, you can't do it all. Decide what you are willing to do, then stick with it.
Here are 24 tips on how to make it work. As much as you might want to, you can't do it all. Decide what you are willing to do, then stick with it.
Have "the talk" with your teen
So have you had "the talk" yet with your teens?
No, not about the birds and the bees, but about online predators and the peer-to-peer nets. A new survey indicates a lot of people have. The study by Common Sense Media and Cable in the Classroom finds that 85 percent of parents and legal guardians of children who go online have talked to their kids about how to behave on the Internet. More than 93 percent say they have taken steps to make sure the Web sites their kids check out meet their standards. Among those surveyed, parents say the biggest issues to warn about are excessive exposure to ads or commercialism online;exposure to bad language, sexual or violent content online, and exposure to misleading or bad information.
No, not about the birds and the bees, but about online predators and the peer-to-peer nets. A new survey indicates a lot of people have. The study by Common Sense Media and Cable in the Classroom finds that 85 percent of parents and legal guardians of children who go online have talked to their kids about how to behave on the Internet. More than 93 percent say they have taken steps to make sure the Web sites their kids check out meet their standards. Among those surveyed, parents say the biggest issues to warn about are excessive exposure to ads or commercialism online;exposure to bad language, sexual or violent content online, and exposure to misleading or bad information.
The month for hot flashes
If you've been asking "Is it hot in here? Or is it me?"
September is National Menopause Awareness Month and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is implementing a nationwide information campaign to raise awareness about the resources available to address questions related to the benefits and risks of hormone therapy for menopausal symptoms. For more information click here and take control of those hot flashes.
September is National Menopause Awareness Month and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is implementing a nationwide information campaign to raise awareness about the resources available to address questions related to the benefits and risks of hormone therapy for menopausal symptoms. For more information click here and take control of those hot flashes.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Yoga helps avert a disaster at work
And yet another benefit to add to the many of practicing yoga!
Courtesy of the Bureau of Labor Statistics:
A little yoga before heading out to work could help avert a disaster at work. According to the bureau experts, the most injuries occur during the first 2-4 hours of work. They report that it's due to people not being physically or mentally "on the ball" when they first get on the job. Yoga has proven benefits to make you stronger and more alert!
So, go meditate, practice your tree salute!
Courtesy of the Bureau of Labor Statistics:
A little yoga before heading out to work could help avert a disaster at work. According to the bureau experts, the most injuries occur during the first 2-4 hours of work. They report that it's due to people not being physically or mentally "on the ball" when they first get on the job. Yoga has proven benefits to make you stronger and more alert!
So, go meditate, practice your tree salute!
The way to a woman's heart...
They say the way to a woman's heart is through her ears- which means that what you say has a huge impact on how a woman feels about you. So for the gents, here are some common dating scenarios, and the power words you can use to woo the woman you're pursuing:
Instead of "Wanna go out for dinner?", try, "Would you like to go out for Thai food Friday night?" By changing your words, you're creating an experience she can visualize; you're actually putting her in the moment.
Now you're at the restaurant, because she said yes, of course. The entrees have arrived. You'd like to offer her a bite of your dinner, because it's delicious, and, psychologically, if she accepts your bite, she's accepting you. So instead of, "Want a spoon of this dessert?", try, "Can I share a bite of my cheesecake with you?"
Date's over- it went great! How to secure a second date: instead of, "Are you free next Saturday?" Try, "I'd love to see you again; maybe we could try getting together next Saturday, because I have tickets for a concert." Saying "maybe we could try" might sounds wimpy, but it gives the woman a chance to say yes, without feeling pressure. And according to psychologists, the word "because" is the magic word, people agree much more often because they like to hear the reasoning behind the request.
Instead of "Wanna go out for dinner?", try, "Would you like to go out for Thai food Friday night?" By changing your words, you're creating an experience she can visualize; you're actually putting her in the moment.
Now you're at the restaurant, because she said yes, of course. The entrees have arrived. You'd like to offer her a bite of your dinner, because it's delicious, and, psychologically, if she accepts your bite, she's accepting you. So instead of, "Want a spoon of this dessert?", try, "Can I share a bite of my cheesecake with you?"
Date's over- it went great! How to secure a second date: instead of, "Are you free next Saturday?" Try, "I'd love to see you again; maybe we could try getting together next Saturday, because I have tickets for a concert." Saying "maybe we could try" might sounds wimpy, but it gives the woman a chance to say yes, without feeling pressure. And according to psychologists, the word "because" is the magic word, people agree much more often because they like to hear the reasoning behind the request.
Laundry 101
Doing the laundry properly will extend the life of your clothes. Once you know the basics -- such as how to pretreat stains, select laundry products, and use the washer and dryer -- getting the laundry done is quite simple.
We'll cover every aspect of doing laundry in this article, from the sorting stage to drying your clothes. As you'll see, there are many tricks that will enable you to do these tasks quickly, efficiently, and proficiently. The end result will be evident in the lasting quality of your clothes.
We'll cover every aspect of doing laundry in this article, from the sorting stage to drying your clothes. As you'll see, there are many tricks that will enable you to do these tasks quickly, efficiently, and proficiently. The end result will be evident in the lasting quality of your clothes.
Water safety in a turtle?
When it comes to pool safety and your children, nothing beats swimming lessons and strict supervision at a young age, but now a new alarm system called the safety turtle that your child wears on their wrist allows two layers of protection that could save your child's life.
Most tragedies happen during social gatherings at home. A so-called water watcher card designates one person to keep their eyes on the kids in the pool. The layers of protection for your child continue with making sure doors are locked and pool fences properly latched. Another layer of protection is a safety turtle wristband, a personal alarm for your child to wear. The alarm goes off the minute it gets wet. Many like to wear it.
Most tragedies happen during social gatherings at home. A so-called water watcher card designates one person to keep their eyes on the kids in the pool. The layers of protection for your child continue with making sure doors are locked and pool fences properly latched. Another layer of protection is a safety turtle wristband, a personal alarm for your child to wear. The alarm goes off the minute it gets wet. Many like to wear it.
Women need to get moving
More than 50 percent of American women do not get enough physical activity to provide health benefits.
For adults, thirty minutes of moderate physical activity on most, preferably all, days of the week is recommended. It doesn’t take a lot of time or money, but it does take commitment. Start slowly, work up to a satisfactory level, and don’t overdo it. You can develop one routine, or you can do something different every day. Find fun ways to stay in shape and feel good, such as dancing, gardening, cutting the grass, swimming, walking, or jogging.
I like to roller blade...the faster I go, the more the wind keeps me cool.
For adults, thirty minutes of moderate physical activity on most, preferably all, days of the week is recommended. It doesn’t take a lot of time or money, but it does take commitment. Start slowly, work up to a satisfactory level, and don’t overdo it. You can develop one routine, or you can do something different every day. Find fun ways to stay in shape and feel good, such as dancing, gardening, cutting the grass, swimming, walking, or jogging.
I like to roller blade...the faster I go, the more the wind keeps me cool.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Mosquito ringtones
The war between teens and authority figures has a new — or old — front: ears. British shopkeepers tired of teenage loiterers have turned to the Mosquito teen repellent, which emits a high-pitch frequency that most teenagers can hear — but not most adults.
But now teens have struck back against the Mosquito: They are using the same sound to communicate without adults' knowledge.
But now teens have struck back against the Mosquito: They are using the same sound to communicate without adults' knowledge.
Can coffee hurt a kids health?
Kids and coffee.
A recent Harvard study found that when kids were given just one cup of coffee a day for a year, but then had it suddenly stop, they went into withdrawal. 75 percent suffered from mood disorders like fatigue or depression, and 83 percent of them suffered from headaches. Caffeine excess can also cause a rapid heart rate and rhythm problems in kids, some suffer insomnia or irritability, and it commonly causes diarrhea. One doctor says for kids a little cafe is ok, but don’t make it everyday.
A recent Harvard study found that when kids were given just one cup of coffee a day for a year, but then had it suddenly stop, they went into withdrawal. 75 percent suffered from mood disorders like fatigue or depression, and 83 percent of them suffered from headaches. Caffeine excess can also cause a rapid heart rate and rhythm problems in kids, some suffer insomnia or irritability, and it commonly causes diarrhea. One doctor says for kids a little cafe is ok, but don’t make it everyday.
Don't be a dull girl
While some women are simply born with naturally shiny hair, the rest of us can still "build" it with proper care and primo products.
In fact, the good news is that shiny hair starts the second you step in the shower. While excessive shampooing can contribute to the dull-hair problem you're trying to fix, some great shine-enhancing sudsers do exist. Well-formulated conditioners are another everyday basic that can boost your hair's beauty. Add in just the right dose of frizz-fighting styling product for additional luster.
In fact, the good news is that shiny hair starts the second you step in the shower. While excessive shampooing can contribute to the dull-hair problem you're trying to fix, some great shine-enhancing sudsers do exist. Well-formulated conditioners are another everyday basic that can boost your hair's beauty. Add in just the right dose of frizz-fighting styling product for additional luster.
Wearing Jeans at work can benefit your health
Are you a ‘blue jean queen’ – or king – at work? Well, good for you!
Researchers at the University of Wisconsin found that people who wore jeans on the job logged almost 600 more steps throughout the day than they did on days when they wore business attire – like suits or slacks. That’s an extra quarter of a mile! Why would jeans make you want to move more? Experts think it’s because employees feel more comfortable in their blues, which makes them more active. But burning extra calories isn’t the only benefit of wearing jeans to work! Here are a few more. Courtesy of Men’s Health Magazine.
Wearing jeans gives you sharper vision. If you’ve got jeans on, you’re more likely to leave your desk. And leaving your desk for just 5 minutes gives your eyes some much-needed recovery time from the strain caused by staring at your computer screen. That’s the word from a study in the American Association of Occupational Health Nurses Journal.
The next blue jean benefit is for bosses: It’ll give you a happier staff. According to researchers at Claremont Graduate University in California, employees feel better about their bosses when they see them face-to-face. Why? It’s probably because communicating by e-mail leaves room for both you – and your boss – to misinterpret each other’s words. So bosses, how can you get your employees to come see you? Let them wear jeans – so they’re more likely to get up and walk down the hall.
They’ll unclog your arteries. Researchers at Johns Hopkins found that isolated employees are more likely to develop – and die from – cardiovascular disease. But since workers move more when they wear jeans, they’ll be more likely to take a stroll down to their co-worker’s cubicle.
So let’s see. Wearing jeans to work helps you burn more calories, they preserve your peepers, give bosses a happier staff, and can unclog your arteries. I say bring on casual Friday!
Researchers at the University of Wisconsin found that people who wore jeans on the job logged almost 600 more steps throughout the day than they did on days when they wore business attire – like suits or slacks. That’s an extra quarter of a mile! Why would jeans make you want to move more? Experts think it’s because employees feel more comfortable in their blues, which makes them more active. But burning extra calories isn’t the only benefit of wearing jeans to work! Here are a few more. Courtesy of Men’s Health Magazine.
Wearing jeans gives you sharper vision. If you’ve got jeans on, you’re more likely to leave your desk. And leaving your desk for just 5 minutes gives your eyes some much-needed recovery time from the strain caused by staring at your computer screen. That’s the word from a study in the American Association of Occupational Health Nurses Journal.
The next blue jean benefit is for bosses: It’ll give you a happier staff. According to researchers at Claremont Graduate University in California, employees feel better about their bosses when they see them face-to-face. Why? It’s probably because communicating by e-mail leaves room for both you – and your boss – to misinterpret each other’s words. So bosses, how can you get your employees to come see you? Let them wear jeans – so they’re more likely to get up and walk down the hall.
They’ll unclog your arteries. Researchers at Johns Hopkins found that isolated employees are more likely to develop – and die from – cardiovascular disease. But since workers move more when they wear jeans, they’ll be more likely to take a stroll down to their co-worker’s cubicle.
So let’s see. Wearing jeans to work helps you burn more calories, they preserve your peepers, give bosses a happier staff, and can unclog your arteries. I say bring on casual Friday!
Friday, September 21, 2007
How much does love really cost?
The REAL Cost of Love (Best Life)
What You'll Give Her: Flowers
Cost in a Year: $300
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $15,000
What You'll Give Her: Cards for all the usual reasons
Cost in a Year: $21
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $1,050
What You'll Give Her: Dinners out
Cost in a Year: $2,526
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $126,300
What You'll Give Her: Expensive dinners to apologize
Cost in a Year: $700
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $35,000
What You'll Give Her: Theater, movie, concert tickets
Cost in a Year: $752
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $37,600
What You'll Give Her: Vacations
Cost in a Year: $2,913
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $145,650
What You'll Give Her: Jewelry
Cost in a Year: $1,336 Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $66,800
What You'll Give Her: LingerieCost in a Year: $122
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $6,100
What You'll Give Her: Trips to the spa
Cost in a Year: $275
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $13,750
What You'll Give Her: Haircuts, grooming products for you
Cost in a Year: $1,000
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $50,000
What You'll Give Her: Vasectomy after the kids are born
Cost in a Year: $1,000
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $1,000
What You'll Give Her: Caring for the dog she loves so much
Cost in a Year: $1,266
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $63,300
What You'll Give Her: Valentine's Day
Cost in a Year: $86
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $4,300
What You'll Give Her: Mother's Day
Cost in a Year: $70
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $3,500
What You'll Give Her: Holiday, anniversary, birthday gifts
Cost in a Year: $421
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $21,050
TOTAL Cost in a Year: $12,788
TOTAL Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $590,400
What You'll Give Her: Flowers
Cost in a Year: $300
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $15,000
What You'll Give Her: Cards for all the usual reasons
Cost in a Year: $21
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $1,050
What You'll Give Her: Dinners out
Cost in a Year: $2,526
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $126,300
What You'll Give Her: Expensive dinners to apologize
Cost in a Year: $700
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $35,000
What You'll Give Her: Theater, movie, concert tickets
Cost in a Year: $752
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $37,600
What You'll Give Her: Vacations
Cost in a Year: $2,913
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $145,650
What You'll Give Her: Jewelry
Cost in a Year: $1,336 Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $66,800
What You'll Give Her: LingerieCost in a Year: $122
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $6,100
What You'll Give Her: Trips to the spa
Cost in a Year: $275
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $13,750
What You'll Give Her: Haircuts, grooming products for you
Cost in a Year: $1,000
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $50,000
What You'll Give Her: Vasectomy after the kids are born
Cost in a Year: $1,000
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $1,000
What You'll Give Her: Caring for the dog she loves so much
Cost in a Year: $1,266
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $63,300
What You'll Give Her: Valentine's Day
Cost in a Year: $86
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $4,300
What You'll Give Her: Mother's Day
Cost in a Year: $70
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $3,500
What You'll Give Her: Holiday, anniversary, birthday gifts
Cost in a Year: $421
Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $21,050
TOTAL Cost in a Year: $12,788
TOTAL Cost Over a 50-Year Marriage: $590,400
Eat dinner together tonight
It's being called the 12th annual "National Eat Dinner Together Week" set for September 16-22. It's designed to get families to quit eating on the run,or standing up, but together as a family.
This event is not only being endorsed by the Parent Teacher Association and the Food Network but by Mom's everywhere who realize that sometimes there is just not enough time in the day, but that it's important to sit down, relax, share the day, and eat a meal together.
There is no major event here, just a movement to stress the importance of shared family dinners and quality time. In a stress filled world, a good meal and a good meal together can make all the difference.
This event is not only being endorsed by the Parent Teacher Association and the Food Network but by Mom's everywhere who realize that sometimes there is just not enough time in the day, but that it's important to sit down, relax, share the day, and eat a meal together.
There is no major event here, just a movement to stress the importance of shared family dinners and quality time. In a stress filled world, a good meal and a good meal together can make all the difference.
Everyone is talking about "Talk Radio"
Ready for some live theater? Check out "Talk Radio" now showing at the Mosaic Theater.
Flumist for little ones
Parents planning to get their toddlers immunized against flu can avoid a needle in the doctor's office now — and the screams and tears that come with it.
A nasal spray vaccine won approval Wednesday from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration for children as young as 2. Previously, FluMist had been approved only for people ages 5 and older. The approval came as federal health officials urged Americans to get immunized over the next few months, when they expect vaccine supplies to be larger than ever before.
By encouraging a longer vaccine season, continuing into January, they hope to close gaps in immunization coverage, particularly among high-risk groups such as seniors, young children and health care workers.
A nasal spray vaccine won approval Wednesday from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration for children as young as 2. Previously, FluMist had been approved only for people ages 5 and older. The approval came as federal health officials urged Americans to get immunized over the next few months, when they expect vaccine supplies to be larger than ever before.
By encouraging a longer vaccine season, continuing into January, they hope to close gaps in immunization coverage, particularly among high-risk groups such as seniors, young children and health care workers.
Time for women to shine
Soccer update:
So far at the Women's World Cup, the USA has been more bruising than brilliant, but it might use the quarterfinal against England to refine its game a bit. England has reached its first quarterfinal by beating Argentina and tying Japan and Germany, and while it and Australia can be considered the weakest teams to reach this stage, there's been enough uncertainty in the U.S. game to gauge the English chances at something more than nil when they meet on Saturday.
So far at the Women's World Cup, the USA has been more bruising than brilliant, but it might use the quarterfinal against England to refine its game a bit. England has reached its first quarterfinal by beating Argentina and tying Japan and Germany, and while it and Australia can be considered the weakest teams to reach this stage, there's been enough uncertainty in the U.S. game to gauge the English chances at something more than nil when they meet on Saturday.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Meet the "Kid Nation" kids
Did you catch the new CBS show "Kid Nation" last night?
40 kids spend 40 days in a ghost town without their parents to try to create a new world. Click here to meet the kids.
I loved it when they made the kids pick between having a TV or more port-o-potties. Smart kids, they went for the loo.
In the end, it was too much for 8 year old Jimmy...he decided to go home. He was so cute..I just wanted to hug him.
Sophia won the first gold star worth 20 thousand dollars. See the next episode Wednesday nights at 8pm on CBS4.
40 kids spend 40 days in a ghost town without their parents to try to create a new world. Click here to meet the kids.
I loved it when they made the kids pick between having a TV or more port-o-potties. Smart kids, they went for the loo.
In the end, it was too much for 8 year old Jimmy...he decided to go home. He was so cute..I just wanted to hug him.
Sophia won the first gold star worth 20 thousand dollars. See the next episode Wednesday nights at 8pm on CBS4.
Texting etiquette and dating
Texting etiquette, explained
By Carly Milne
Combine the convenience of a cell-phone call with the privacy of an email, and there you have the latest, greatest way to keep in touch with someone you like: texting. These days, nearly everyone’s exchanging mini-missives with his or her amour. That said, there’s a right way and a wrong way to get your message through—and while texting has cultivated many a relationship, an equal number have foundered because the texters didn’t adhere to a few simple rules. Follow these helpful tips, however, and they’ll turn you into a texting expert in no time, not to mention aid in cultivating some warm-and-fuzzy feelings between you and your intended.
Do text on noteworthy occasions
Texts are a great way to let the object of your affections know that he or she is on your mind—especially when a response isn’t really required. “One text-worthy occasion is the morning after a great date,” says Regina Lynn, author of The Sexual Revolution 2.0. “A note saying ‘I had a great time last night’ or ‘Thinking of you’ is less intrusive than a phone call but very sweet.” Other prime texting times would be if your date has mentioned an important upcoming meeting or event. Sending a quick “Good luck at your meeting; you’ll do great!” beforehand or a “Hope your interview went well—looking forward to hearing about it” afterward are the equivalent of little love darts into your date’s heart. Keep ’em coming!
Don’t text when a phone call would be better
Though it can get addictive, having endless and lengthy text conversations in place of voice-to-voice action is a bad idea. Why? It’s all about making that human connection. “Texting is OK for simple exchanges of information — meet me here, see you there — but I want to hear my girl say hi,” notes Adam Dreyfus, 37, of New Canaan, CT. “I was dating a woman who texted me all the time, but it wasn’t the same as being at work, stressed out and behind schedule, then hearing the phone ring and hearing her voice. Just a simple ‘hi’ can make everything right in the universe.” So if it’s been a number of days since you’ve spoken to each other, consider picking up the phone to remind your sweetie what you sound like. Also keep in mind that texting can often be more cumbersome and time-consuming than a phone call, so before you compose your text, ask yourself: Would a phone allow us to hash out our plans more quickly? If so, save yourself (and your date) the trouble and use the phone.
Do flirt with caution
Nothing can break up a mundane work day better than a few texted sweet nothings… but if you’re thinking of steaming things up, proceed with caution. It’s all too easy to risk offending the recipient with a message that’s a little too titillating, too soon. “You shouldn’t start with porn words. Some people who can get really creative in bed still do not want to see certain words on their phones,” warns Lynn. “I would begin with some general flirting — I want to kiss you — and see what they say back.” If the person responds in kind and even escalates (questions like “What else did you like about last night?” are an obvious welcome sign), feel free to up the ante, slightly, with racier confessions. In short, before you dig into full-on dirty talk, you should pave the way with numerous texts that make it clear this is the direction you’re going and that the recipient is fine hearing them.
Don’t text at odd hours
Just as you wouldn’t call at all hours of the night, nor should you text then, either. “Always be sensitive to what the person is likely to be doing,” says Lynn. “For example, don’t text before 10 a.m. unless you know for sure he or she gets up early and enjoy mornings. Don’t text after 10 p.m.” Not only could you wake the person up (cell phones still ring when they receive a text), but even if your date's cell is turned off, he or she can still see you texted at 3 a.m.—and that makes you look inconsiderate, needy, or just plain weird.
Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say in person
Hiding behind your phone is a sure fire way to start a new relationship out on the wrong foot—especially if what you’re trying to avoid saying in person is important. “I once dated this guy who chose to text me about having an STD,” recalls Sharlene Smithers, 32. “I wasn’t as bothered by the STD so much as I was bothered that he texted me about it. It felt like a cowardly way out, and it left me wondering what else he was incapable of communicating to me.” It’s best to save texting for fun and flirty notes or where-to-meet-what-time type of plans. Save heavy conversations and first “I love you’s” for face-to-face chats.
Don’t text if you’re tipsy
This one’s kind of obvious, but just about everyone does it so it bears repeating: Do not text someone when you’re nearly-falling-off-your-bar-stool drunk. “I was dating this guy who would send me drunken booty call texts when he went out with his boys,” recalls Erin Street, 30. “I’d get them in rapid succession, starting with, ‘r u coming over?’ And then if I didn’t respond he’d say, ‘r u on yr way?’ When I talked to him the next day, he didn’t even remember sending them. We laughed about it later, but in the beginning of our relationship, I found it way too forward.” So take note: If you’re soused enough that the numbers on your touch pad are swimming, your judgment’s probably impaired enough that you’ll regret whatever you’re about to text. Go home and go to sleep. If whatever you wanted to say is that important, you’ll remember it and can text away tomorrow.
By Carly Milne
Combine the convenience of a cell-phone call with the privacy of an email, and there you have the latest, greatest way to keep in touch with someone you like: texting. These days, nearly everyone’s exchanging mini-missives with his or her amour. That said, there’s a right way and a wrong way to get your message through—and while texting has cultivated many a relationship, an equal number have foundered because the texters didn’t adhere to a few simple rules. Follow these helpful tips, however, and they’ll turn you into a texting expert in no time, not to mention aid in cultivating some warm-and-fuzzy feelings between you and your intended.
Do text on noteworthy occasions
Texts are a great way to let the object of your affections know that he or she is on your mind—especially when a response isn’t really required. “One text-worthy occasion is the morning after a great date,” says Regina Lynn, author of The Sexual Revolution 2.0. “A note saying ‘I had a great time last night’ or ‘Thinking of you’ is less intrusive than a phone call but very sweet.” Other prime texting times would be if your date has mentioned an important upcoming meeting or event. Sending a quick “Good luck at your meeting; you’ll do great!” beforehand or a “Hope your interview went well—looking forward to hearing about it” afterward are the equivalent of little love darts into your date’s heart. Keep ’em coming!
Don’t text when a phone call would be better
Though it can get addictive, having endless and lengthy text conversations in place of voice-to-voice action is a bad idea. Why? It’s all about making that human connection. “Texting is OK for simple exchanges of information — meet me here, see you there — but I want to hear my girl say hi,” notes Adam Dreyfus, 37, of New Canaan, CT. “I was dating a woman who texted me all the time, but it wasn’t the same as being at work, stressed out and behind schedule, then hearing the phone ring and hearing her voice. Just a simple ‘hi’ can make everything right in the universe.” So if it’s been a number of days since you’ve spoken to each other, consider picking up the phone to remind your sweetie what you sound like. Also keep in mind that texting can often be more cumbersome and time-consuming than a phone call, so before you compose your text, ask yourself: Would a phone allow us to hash out our plans more quickly? If so, save yourself (and your date) the trouble and use the phone.
Do flirt with caution
Nothing can break up a mundane work day better than a few texted sweet nothings… but if you’re thinking of steaming things up, proceed with caution. It’s all too easy to risk offending the recipient with a message that’s a little too titillating, too soon. “You shouldn’t start with porn words. Some people who can get really creative in bed still do not want to see certain words on their phones,” warns Lynn. “I would begin with some general flirting — I want to kiss you — and see what they say back.” If the person responds in kind and even escalates (questions like “What else did you like about last night?” are an obvious welcome sign), feel free to up the ante, slightly, with racier confessions. In short, before you dig into full-on dirty talk, you should pave the way with numerous texts that make it clear this is the direction you’re going and that the recipient is fine hearing them.
Don’t text at odd hours
Just as you wouldn’t call at all hours of the night, nor should you text then, either. “Always be sensitive to what the person is likely to be doing,” says Lynn. “For example, don’t text before 10 a.m. unless you know for sure he or she gets up early and enjoy mornings. Don’t text after 10 p.m.” Not only could you wake the person up (cell phones still ring when they receive a text), but even if your date's cell is turned off, he or she can still see you texted at 3 a.m.—and that makes you look inconsiderate, needy, or just plain weird.
Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say in person
Hiding behind your phone is a sure fire way to start a new relationship out on the wrong foot—especially if what you’re trying to avoid saying in person is important. “I once dated this guy who chose to text me about having an STD,” recalls Sharlene Smithers, 32. “I wasn’t as bothered by the STD so much as I was bothered that he texted me about it. It felt like a cowardly way out, and it left me wondering what else he was incapable of communicating to me.” It’s best to save texting for fun and flirty notes or where-to-meet-what-time type of plans. Save heavy conversations and first “I love you’s” for face-to-face chats.
Don’t text if you’re tipsy
This one’s kind of obvious, but just about everyone does it so it bears repeating: Do not text someone when you’re nearly-falling-off-your-bar-stool drunk. “I was dating this guy who would send me drunken booty call texts when he went out with his boys,” recalls Erin Street, 30. “I’d get them in rapid succession, starting with, ‘r u coming over?’ And then if I didn’t respond he’d say, ‘r u on yr way?’ When I talked to him the next day, he didn’t even remember sending them. We laughed about it later, but in the beginning of our relationship, I found it way too forward.” So take note: If you’re soused enough that the numbers on your touch pad are swimming, your judgment’s probably impaired enough that you’ll regret whatever you’re about to text. Go home and go to sleep. If whatever you wanted to say is that important, you’ll remember it and can text away tomorrow.
Calling Dr. Mickey Mouse!
Introducing Nurse "Belle" and Pinocchio the paramedic!
Stodgy bedside manner? Not at this children's hospital, where Mickey Mouse may be making rounds. The Walt Disney Company is stepping into the business of health care with a 10 million-dollar donation to create the first hospital to bear the Disney name in Orlando.... it will open in 2010.
Stodgy bedside manner? Not at this children's hospital, where Mickey Mouse may be making rounds. The Walt Disney Company is stepping into the business of health care with a 10 million-dollar donation to create the first hospital to bear the Disney name in Orlando.... it will open in 2010.
Heart Disease - Men vs Women
When a man suffers a heart attack at a young age, klaxons sound and red flags flutter for his son. Pointing to a son's inherited risk of going down the same road, physicians probably will urge him to stay away from cigarettes, watch his weight and exercise regularly. But do alarm bells sound for the female child of a premature heart attack victim? A study suggests the answers are no and no. The study establishes that although the daughters of families with premature heart disease are indeed at higher risk of developing heart disease themselves, they either are failing to get that message or not bothering to heed it.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tricks to ease stress and tension
How about 2 intelligent things you can do every day for better health?
1) According to Fitness Magazine, you can shut off your stress response in 12 seconds. Breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds; hold it for 4 seconds; exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds.
2) If you're waiting on hold on the phone, neutralize your tension with this exercise, which comes from the physical therapists at the Chicago Spine and Sports Rehabilitation Center:
Sit up straight, and put the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth (slightly behind your front teeth.) Then slowly open and close your mouth 10 times to release your tension.
1) According to Fitness Magazine, you can shut off your stress response in 12 seconds. Breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds; hold it for 4 seconds; exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds.
2) If you're waiting on hold on the phone, neutralize your tension with this exercise, which comes from the physical therapists at the Chicago Spine and Sports Rehabilitation Center:
Sit up straight, and put the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth (slightly behind your front teeth.) Then slowly open and close your mouth 10 times to release your tension.
It's okay to say no
It's Okay to Say No
By Meagan Francis
Who among us hasn't caved in to our child's pleading for candy or a toy, despite wanting to say no? According to David Walsh, Ph.D., it's a common occurrence — and a growing dilemma. Dr. Walsh, the founder of the National Institute on Media and the Family, says today's parents are almost allergic to saying no. "They think somehow it's hurting their kids and worry about their self-esteem." In his new book, No: Why Kids — Of All Ages — Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It, the author talks about our reluctance to deny our children's requests and why hearing "no" actually builds character.
Parent & Child: Why do you think parents today have such a hard time saying no to their children?
David Walsh: Parents are busier than ever before, and a lot of the time we feel guilt that we aren't spending as much time with our kids as we'd like. When we are with our kids, we want them to be happy and have positive feelings about the time they spend with us, so we end up doing things they will like, and we're reluctant to say "no."
P&C: Do you believe there are other reasons having to do with the media?
Walsh: Yes. I think current culture, media, and advertising have combined to teach us four values: more, easy, fast, and fun. And we have all been affected by those values. Parents get very anxious when their kids are unhappy or disappointed and think that it hurts their kids' self-esteem. It's part of an epidemic that's spreading. I call it DDD: Discipline Deficit Disorder. The symptoms are the inability to delay gratification, impatience, self-centeredness, and out-of-control consumerism. The job of being a parent today is harder than ever because media and advertising have brainwashed us into thinking that our kids should have more, that everything should be fast, easy, and fun.
P&C: We know self-esteem is important. How has the concept become distorted? Walsh: Real self-esteem is very important, but it's built through support, connection, and competence. Self-esteem is not a new idea, but it was mis-defined in the popular culture during the 1970s and '80s. We got the idea that self-esteem comes first and behavior comes second. In other words, if we feel good about ourselves, we'll behave ourselves. There's no evidence to prove that. It's important for kids to feel good about themselves, but people translated that to mean self-esteem means feeling good all the time.
P&C: In what ways can parents help their children build real self-esteem?
Walsh: Instead of doing things for our kids, we need to support and encourage them to do things for themselves. We can't just tell our kids that they are good and capable — we need to give them experiences where they can actually be those things. In this culture we tend to think that self-esteem comes first, and then competence will follow, but actually it's the other way around. For instance, if a child knows how to cooperate and get along with others, he'll have more friends, and he's going to feel good about himself.
P&C: Returning to the word no, how does hearing it benefit kids?
Walsh: It helps them build a sense of resourcefulness and determination. That's where disappointment can actually build self-esteem. If we shield our kids too much they never get practice at dealing with disappointment. But when children are allowed to work through those disappointments, they might realize, "This won't work, but I'll try something else." They build the sense that there are no dead ends, just solutions they haven't found yet. They also learn determination and patience. If we jump in and rescue our kids, it actually eats away at self-esteem.
P&C: So how will saying no to kids more often help them succeed in school?
Walsh: The biggest factor that will help kids be successful in life is self-discipline. Self-discipline is twice as strong a predictor in school success as intelligence. Our kids are as smart as they've ever been, if not smarter. The problem is that they are lacking in self-discipline. Managing their behavior becomes more and more of a focus in school, which leaves less time for learning.
P&C: And how will it help at home?
Walsh: We are born with all kinds of hardwired drives. One is the drive to seek pleasure and avoid pain. We're born with it, but that drive has to be balanced with other needs. When a child has homework to be done, and has a million other things she would rather do, she's only going to be successful if she has the self-discipline to manage her own drives well enough to sit in the chair and get the assignment done. When she can do that, she's successful and feels good about herself, and she'll have more confidence — the vicious cycle gets moving in a positive direction.
P&C: Do parents owe their children an explanation every time they say no?
Walsh: I think it's fine to give kids an explanation, but it's not reasonable to expect the child to agree. They're still going to want the candy, so we have to be willing to do the heavy lifting and follow through.
P&C: The word no sounds so negative. Can we convey it to our kids without actually using the word?
Walsh: Absolutely. There's nothing magic about the word no. We can say it in a million different ways. In fact, with younger kids it's a better idea to set limits and consequences positively. If you say, "Don't stand on the furniture," all they hear is, "Stand on the furniture," so it's more effective to say, "Please keep your feet on the floor." It's not the word; it's a strategy. This is not a hard-nosed, authoritarian boot camp approach to parenting. We don't want to over-correct — we want a balanced style of parenting that's clear, consistent, and positive. We need to spend as much energy catching our kids being good as we do correcting behavior.
P&C: What other values do you feel kids need?
Walsh: A sense of compassion. When self-esteem gets distorted, kids end up with an over-inflated sense of their own worth and entitlement. Compassion means that I put other people's needs and rights on par with my own, and kids need to learn that.
From Parent & Child magazine
By Meagan Francis
Who among us hasn't caved in to our child's pleading for candy or a toy, despite wanting to say no? According to David Walsh, Ph.D., it's a common occurrence — and a growing dilemma. Dr. Walsh, the founder of the National Institute on Media and the Family, says today's parents are almost allergic to saying no. "They think somehow it's hurting their kids and worry about their self-esteem." In his new book, No: Why Kids — Of All Ages — Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It, the author talks about our reluctance to deny our children's requests and why hearing "no" actually builds character.
Parent & Child: Why do you think parents today have such a hard time saying no to their children?
David Walsh: Parents are busier than ever before, and a lot of the time we feel guilt that we aren't spending as much time with our kids as we'd like. When we are with our kids, we want them to be happy and have positive feelings about the time they spend with us, so we end up doing things they will like, and we're reluctant to say "no."
P&C: Do you believe there are other reasons having to do with the media?
Walsh: Yes. I think current culture, media, and advertising have combined to teach us four values: more, easy, fast, and fun. And we have all been affected by those values. Parents get very anxious when their kids are unhappy or disappointed and think that it hurts their kids' self-esteem. It's part of an epidemic that's spreading. I call it DDD: Discipline Deficit Disorder. The symptoms are the inability to delay gratification, impatience, self-centeredness, and out-of-control consumerism. The job of being a parent today is harder than ever because media and advertising have brainwashed us into thinking that our kids should have more, that everything should be fast, easy, and fun.
P&C: We know self-esteem is important. How has the concept become distorted? Walsh: Real self-esteem is very important, but it's built through support, connection, and competence. Self-esteem is not a new idea, but it was mis-defined in the popular culture during the 1970s and '80s. We got the idea that self-esteem comes first and behavior comes second. In other words, if we feel good about ourselves, we'll behave ourselves. There's no evidence to prove that. It's important for kids to feel good about themselves, but people translated that to mean self-esteem means feeling good all the time.
P&C: In what ways can parents help their children build real self-esteem?
Walsh: Instead of doing things for our kids, we need to support and encourage them to do things for themselves. We can't just tell our kids that they are good and capable — we need to give them experiences where they can actually be those things. In this culture we tend to think that self-esteem comes first, and then competence will follow, but actually it's the other way around. For instance, if a child knows how to cooperate and get along with others, he'll have more friends, and he's going to feel good about himself.
P&C: Returning to the word no, how does hearing it benefit kids?
Walsh: It helps them build a sense of resourcefulness and determination. That's where disappointment can actually build self-esteem. If we shield our kids too much they never get practice at dealing with disappointment. But when children are allowed to work through those disappointments, they might realize, "This won't work, but I'll try something else." They build the sense that there are no dead ends, just solutions they haven't found yet. They also learn determination and patience. If we jump in and rescue our kids, it actually eats away at self-esteem.
P&C: So how will saying no to kids more often help them succeed in school?
Walsh: The biggest factor that will help kids be successful in life is self-discipline. Self-discipline is twice as strong a predictor in school success as intelligence. Our kids are as smart as they've ever been, if not smarter. The problem is that they are lacking in self-discipline. Managing their behavior becomes more and more of a focus in school, which leaves less time for learning.
P&C: And how will it help at home?
Walsh: We are born with all kinds of hardwired drives. One is the drive to seek pleasure and avoid pain. We're born with it, but that drive has to be balanced with other needs. When a child has homework to be done, and has a million other things she would rather do, she's only going to be successful if she has the self-discipline to manage her own drives well enough to sit in the chair and get the assignment done. When she can do that, she's successful and feels good about herself, and she'll have more confidence — the vicious cycle gets moving in a positive direction.
P&C: Do parents owe their children an explanation every time they say no?
Walsh: I think it's fine to give kids an explanation, but it's not reasonable to expect the child to agree. They're still going to want the candy, so we have to be willing to do the heavy lifting and follow through.
P&C: The word no sounds so negative. Can we convey it to our kids without actually using the word?
Walsh: Absolutely. There's nothing magic about the word no. We can say it in a million different ways. In fact, with younger kids it's a better idea to set limits and consequences positively. If you say, "Don't stand on the furniture," all they hear is, "Stand on the furniture," so it's more effective to say, "Please keep your feet on the floor." It's not the word; it's a strategy. This is not a hard-nosed, authoritarian boot camp approach to parenting. We don't want to over-correct — we want a balanced style of parenting that's clear, consistent, and positive. We need to spend as much energy catching our kids being good as we do correcting behavior.
P&C: What other values do you feel kids need?
Walsh: A sense of compassion. When self-esteem gets distorted, kids end up with an over-inflated sense of their own worth and entitlement. Compassion means that I put other people's needs and rights on par with my own, and kids need to learn that.
From Parent & Child magazine
A new way to clean out your closet with they help of friends
A group of women got together in someone's home and brought their unwanted clothing to share with each other.
Some took the time to organize the clothing and display it attractively, and then the women got together and took home their pick of clothing. They could take whatever they liked as long as they had contributed some of their own clothing. There's make-shift dressing rooms where you could try on clothing
It sounds like a lot of fun and a great way to update your wardrobe. This can also be done with children's clothing and toys.
Some took the time to organize the clothing and display it attractively, and then the women got together and took home their pick of clothing. They could take whatever they liked as long as they had contributed some of their own clothing. There's make-shift dressing rooms where you could try on clothing
It sounds like a lot of fun and a great way to update your wardrobe. This can also be done with children's clothing and toys.
Teens attitudes towards drugs
In a new survey on the abuse of methamphetamine among teens, many of the respondents said the drug was easy to get and believed there's little risk in trying it.
The study by The Meth Project, a nonprofit anti-drug group, found that nearly a quarter of those surveyed described it as "very easy" or "somewhat easy" to obtain the drug. One in three also said there was only a "slight risk" or "no risk" in trying meth once or twice. And about one in our said they believed there are benefits to using meth, including losing weight, coping with boredom and feeling happy. White House drug czar John Walters calls those attitudes "troubling." He and other government officials say the survey highlights the need for an aggressive public education campaign to inform young people about the dangers of the highly addictive stimulant.
The study by The Meth Project, a nonprofit anti-drug group, found that nearly a quarter of those surveyed described it as "very easy" or "somewhat easy" to obtain the drug. One in three also said there was only a "slight risk" or "no risk" in trying meth once or twice. And about one in our said they believed there are benefits to using meth, including losing weight, coping with boredom and feeling happy. White House drug czar John Walters calls those attitudes "troubling." He and other government officials say the survey highlights the need for an aggressive public education campaign to inform young people about the dangers of the highly addictive stimulant.
Dr. Mom is in charge
Nearly two-thirds of women polled in a recent national survey indicated that they alone were responsible for health care decisions within their family, and 83 percent had sole or shared responsibility for financial decisions regarding their family’s health.
Women are also considered the primary caregivers for ill or disabled family members. Of the estimated 15 percent of Americans who are informal caregivers, almost three quarters are women — many of them struggling to satisfy expectations both at work and at home.
Women are also considered the primary caregivers for ill or disabled family members. Of the estimated 15 percent of Americans who are informal caregivers, almost three quarters are women — many of them struggling to satisfy expectations both at work and at home.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
100 Mile Diet
A group of people are trying to only eat local food. The 100 mile diet challenge means only eating food grown within 100 miles. They want to raise consciousness about how local meat and veggies can be fresher and cleaner. And to show it's possible to avoid food that requires a lot of fuel to ship from thousands of miles away.
Find out more about the 100 Mile Diet Challenge.
Find out more about the 100 Mile Diet Challenge.
8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage
8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage
By Ylonda Gault Caviness
By Ylonda Gault Caviness
1. You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?
When you get married, you think that as long as you pick the right guy — your soul mate — you'll be happy together until death do you part. Then you wake up one day and realize that no matter how great he is, he doesn't make you happy every moment of every day. In fact, some days you might wonder why you were in such a hurry to get married in the first place. You think to yourself, This is so not what I signed up for.
Actually, it is. You just didn't realize it the day you and your guy were cramming wedding cake into each other's faces, clinking champagne glasses, and dancing the Electric Slide. Back then you had no idea that "for better and for worse" doesn't kick in only when life hands you a tragedy. Your relationship mettle is, in fact, most tested on a daily basis, when the utter sameness of day-in/day-out togetherness can sometimes make you want to run for the hills.
That's when the disappointment sneaks in, and maybe even a palpable sense of loneliness and grief. It's not him. It's just you, letting go of that sugarcoated fantasy of marriage that danced in your eyes the day you and your beloved posed in all those soft-focus wedding photos. You're learning that marriage isn't a destination; it's a journey filled with equal parts excitement and tedium.
Waking up from a good dream to face the harsh morning daylight may not seem like a reason to celebrate. But trust me, it is. Because once you let go of all the hokey stories of eternal bliss, you find that the reality of marriage is far richer and more rewarding than you ever could have guessed. Hard, yes. Frustrating, yes. But full of its own powerful, quiet enchantments just the same, and that's better than any fairy tale.
2. You'll work harder than you ever imagined.
Early on, when people say, "Marriage takes work," you assume "work" means being patient when he forgets to put down the toilet seat. In your naiveté, you think that you will struggle to accommodate some annoying habit, like persistent knuckle cracking or flatulence.
If only it were that easy. Human beings, you may have noticed, are not simple creatures. Your man has mysterious, unplumbed depths — and from where he sits, you're pretty complicated, too. You have to learn each other the same way that you once learned earth science or world geography. And getting married doesn't mean you're done — it just means you've advanced to graduate-level studies. That's because every time you think you've mastered the material, he'll change a bit. And so will you. As two people grow and evolve, the real work of marriage is finding a way to relate to and nurture each other in the process.
"It's like losing weight," says Andrea Harden, 45, of Buffalo, NY. "You want it to be a one-time deal. You lost it, now just live. But then you learn it's a lifestyle. That's marriage. The effort is a forever thing." So don't be too hard on yourself — or him — on those days when you feel like you're struggling through remedial math.
3. You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe even wake up madder).
Whoever decided to tell newlyweds "Never go to bed angry" doesn't know what it's like inside a bedroom where tears and accusations fly as one spouse talks the other into a woozy stupor until night meets the dawn. If this scenario sounds familiar, I've got three words for you: Sleep on it.
You need to calm down. You need to gain perspective. You need to just give it a rest. I've found that an argument of any quality, like a fine wine, needs to breathe. A break in the action will help you figure out whether you're angry, hurt, or both, and then pinpoint the exact source. Maybe the fight that seemed to erupt over the overflowing garbage can is really about feeling underappreciated. Could be you're both stressed out at work and just needed to unload on someone. Taking a break will help you see that, and let go. Or maybe you really do have a legitimate disagreement to work out. Without a time-out, sometimes a perfectly good argument can turn into an endless round of silly back-and-forth, rehashing old and irrelevant transgressions as you get more and more wound up.
Even when you do manage to stay focused and on topic, there are some fights that stubbornly refuse to die by bedtime. And if you stifle your real feelings just to meet some arbitrary deadline, your marriage will surely be the worse for it. "This was a huge lesson for me," says Andrea. "As women we've been trained to make nice. But the whole kiss-and-make-up thing just to keep the peace was eating me up inside. I'd let things build up inside me until I just exploded. Now I wait a while to get hold of myself — let the emotions settle a bit — and state my position. Even if that means reopening the fight the next day."
4. You will go without sex — sometimes for a long time — and that's okay.
There are few men in the Western world sexier than my husband. And I don't say this because I know he may read this article. I've seen women checking him out when they think I'm not looking. (Honestly, ladies, you don't have to sneak a peek. I don't mind if you stare.) That said, there are times that I just don't feel like having sex — often for reasons that have nothing to do with Genoveso. (See? Even his name is sexy.) I can't lie and say this is always okay with him. But the fact is, there are also plenty of nights when he's not in the mood. So maybe a few days go by when we don't do it. And then a few more. And....
Sexless periods are a natural part of married life. A dry spell isn't a sign that you've lost your mojo or that you'll never have sex again. It just means that maybe this week, sleep is more important than sex. (I don't know about you, but between work, 3 a.m. feedings, the PTA, soccer, T-ball, and everything else, I sometimes crave sleep the way a pimply, hormonal adolescent longs to cop a feel.)
And don't kid yourself; no one in America is doing it as often as popular culture would have you believe. Instead of worrying about how much you think you "should" be having sex, keep the focus on figuring out your own rhythm. "I used to think, What's happened to us? We always used to be in the mood," says 35-year-old Kim Henderson of Oakland, CA, who's been married for five years. "Now I know better. Life happens. My husband just started a new job. He has a long commute, and we have two small children. I think we're good."
The key is to make sure that even if you're not doing "it," you're still doing something-touching, kissing, hugging. Personally, my heart gets warm and mushy when my husband rubs my feet after a long, tiring day.
5. Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.
I can be a bit of a know-it-all. There, I said it. It's really not my intention to be hurtful or brash with people I love. It's just that a lifetime of experience has taught me that in most areas, at most times, I am right about most things. What shocked me several years into my marriage, though, was the realization that the more "right" I was, the more discontented my husband and I were as a couple. See, oddly enough, throughout his life Genoveso has been under the misguided impression that he's right most of the time (go figure!). So we'd lock horns — often. That is, until I learned a few things.
Namely, that when it comes to certain disagreements, there is no right or wrong — there is simply your way of looking at things and your husband's. "I used to be very black-and-white earlier in our marriage," says Lindy Vincent, 38, who lives in Minneapolis. "Now I see that I'm not all right and my husband is not all wrong. There's more gray in life than I thought, and that's taught me patience and the value of compromise."
The more I get to know and appreciate my husband for who he is, the more I respect his positions. That doesn't mean I always agree with him. But I can see the value in striking a balance that satisfies us both. And instead of harping on how wrong he is, I can usually swallow the verbal vitriol and simply say something like, "I see your point" or "I hadn't considered that." After I sincerely acknowledge his view, it seems to become easier for him to hear mine. And because I know I'm being heard, most of the time now, I don't even want to prove how right I am anymore. Funny how that works, isn't it?
6. A great marriage doesn't mean no conflict; it simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right.
Maybe you think that because of my newfound wisdom, Genoveso and I never fight anymore. Ha! As important as it is to strike a balance, it's also important to have a big, fat fight every now and then. Because when you fight, you don't just raise your voices; you raise real — sometimes buried — issues that challenge you to come to a clearer understanding of you, your man, and your relationship. I wouldn't give up our fights for anything in the world, because I know in the end they won't break us; they'll only make us stronger.
7. You'll realize that you can only change yourself.
Ever seen the '80s sci-fi cult classic Making Mr. Right? When the stylish heroine, played by Ann Magnuson, is hired to teach a robot how to act like a human, she seizes the chance to create a perfect guy. A hotshot commercial whiz, she uses her marketing prowess to shape John Malkovich's android character into her personal version of the ideal man — sensitive, eager to please, and willing to listen.
There is a bit of that makeover fantasy in all of us — something that makes us believe we can change the person we love, make him just a little bit closer to perfect. We may use support and empathy or shouts and ultimatums, but with dogged conviction we take on this huge responsibility, convinced we're doing the right thing.
Whatever our motives, the effort is exhausting. Transforming a full-grown man — stripping him of decades-old habits, beliefs, and idiosyncrasies — is truly an impossible task. And you will come to realize, sooner than later if you're lucky, that it is far easier to change the way you respond to him.
Here's a perfect case in point: "I used to go off on my husband because he didn't empty the sink trap when he cleaned the kitchen," says Kimberly Seals Allers, 36, of Bay Shore, NY. "It got me nowhere; my rants only made him resentful. Now I come home and when the kitchen looks clean, I'm like, 'Cool, now all I have to do is empty the sink trap.'"
8. As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you're really made of.
I've got issues. Trust issues. Control issues. And others, I'm sure, that I've yet to fully discover. I guess I've always known I wasn't perfect. But in more than a decade of marriage, I've been smacked upside the head with the cold, hard evidence.
There were clues when Genoveso and I were dating, especially with the trust thing. Early on, I was supersuspicious of him. He used to say things like, "I'll call you at 8." Then, just to try to trip me up, he'd call at 8. I knew he was up to something, I just couldn't figure out what. The same kinds of experiences followed after the wedding. Except occasionally he would actually mess up. And I had no sense of scale when it came to rating his offenses; everything was a major violation. Whether he teased me about a new haircut or came home late, I seethed for days and even let thoughts of divorce creep into my head. I figured, if he loved me — really and truly — this stuff wouldn't happen.
I'd like to be able to say that this irrational behavior lasted only a few months and I eventually worked it out. Kind of, sort of, is closer to the truth. After years of looking deeply into my soul and talking to good friends and the best sister a girl could ever have, I've come to recognize certain things about myself. Not to get all Dr. Phil about it, but I've had to examine my history with an emotionally distant dad and a strong-willed mom and face up to all the ways, both good and bad, that those relationships have affected how I approach my marriage.
I still struggle as a work in progress. But I am completely clear in the knowledge that many of the deepest frustrations in your relationship are an opportunity for you to confront yourself. That can be difficult to accept — after all, it's so much more comforting to keep a running tab of your hubby's deficits and tell yourself that his failings are the only thing standing between you and a better marriage. But if you let it, this bumpy journey toward self-awareness can be one of the more fulfilling rewards of a committed, long-term relationship — you'll learn to love your quirks and be compassionate toward yourself, just as you're learning to do with him.
That's the strange beauty of marriage: It's full of hard times and hard lessons that no one can ever prepare you for. But in the end, those are the things that give richness to your life together — and make your love even deeper and stronger than when it began.
Team building
For decades, corporations have tried different ways to help employees relax, bond, and think outside the box, all with the aim of increasing productivity by boosting team spirit.
With outdoor activities, such as rock climbing at first, but the mix expanded to include games of strategy, mystery parties, and contests such as "Corporate Idol." And now cooking-themed events have joined the list.
So what’s the allure?…the act of cooking, dining on your creation or the excitement of a company wide food fight? It could be all of the above but it seems to work according to companies that have tried it.
A company called Teambonding is one of many offering cooking as part of a team building program.
With outdoor activities, such as rock climbing at first, but the mix expanded to include games of strategy, mystery parties, and contests such as "Corporate Idol." And now cooking-themed events have joined the list.
So what’s the allure?…the act of cooking, dining on your creation or the excitement of a company wide food fight? It could be all of the above but it seems to work according to companies that have tried it.
A company called Teambonding is one of many offering cooking as part of a team building program.
Memorial service and road closures
Thousands are expected to gather today to remember Officer Jose Somohano. The memorial service will be held at 11 this morning at the Pharmed Arena on the campus of Florida International University.
Officer Somohano will then be buried at Caballero Rivero Woodlawn Cemetery in Southwest Miami-Dade. He was shot and killed last Thursday.
Road Closures:
Several roads will be affected by today's service. All northbound lanes on the Florida Turnpike from Southwest 120th Street to Southwest 8th Street will be shut down from 10-45 until 11-30 this morning. Some streets around FIU will be shut down between 12-30 and 2-30. All westbound traffic on Tamiami Trail will be stopped at Southwest 112th Avenue. And all southbound traffic on the Turnpike will be shut down between Tamiami Trail and Southwest 120th Street. An important note for FIU students and staff. Day classes are canceled today. Evening classes will start at 5 p-m. All university employees should still report to work.
Officer Somohano will then be buried at Caballero Rivero Woodlawn Cemetery in Southwest Miami-Dade. He was shot and killed last Thursday.
Road Closures:
Several roads will be affected by today's service. All northbound lanes on the Florida Turnpike from Southwest 120th Street to Southwest 8th Street will be shut down from 10-45 until 11-30 this morning. Some streets around FIU will be shut down between 12-30 and 2-30. All westbound traffic on Tamiami Trail will be stopped at Southwest 112th Avenue. And all southbound traffic on the Turnpike will be shut down between Tamiami Trail and Southwest 120th Street. An important note for FIU students and staff. Day classes are canceled today. Evening classes will start at 5 p-m. All university employees should still report to work.
Janet Reno has a new CD
The nation's first woman attorney general is making history again - in music. Janet Reno is the executive producer of the three-CD, 50-song "Song of America" compilation. She calls the project a history book that begins with an American Indian song and ends with songs inspired by the Nine-Eleven terrorist attacks. The collection, featuring performances by various artists, goes on sale tomorrow.
Tots and socks
While this is hardly life-threatening, the doctors say sock-line bands in some cases developed at just one week leaving raised, reddish markings around the ankle or leg.
The marks in some cases appeared after wearing a tight pair of socks on just one occasion and though they faded, raised lines remained.
However while they may be unattractive, the lesions appear to be harmless but as the condition has only recently been recognised, whether scarring will be permanent remains unclear.
The team from Washington University advise parents to choose their babies' socks carefully, and ensure there is plenty of space between leg and sock.
The marks in some cases appeared after wearing a tight pair of socks on just one occasion and though they faded, raised lines remained.
However while they may be unattractive, the lesions appear to be harmless but as the condition has only recently been recognised, whether scarring will be permanent remains unclear.
The team from Washington University advise parents to choose their babies' socks carefully, and ensure there is plenty of space between leg and sock.
Monday, September 17, 2007
The words that make parents cringe
What to Do When Kids Say, "I Hate You!"
Learn how to keep calm during conflicts with your children.
By Roberta Israeloff, from What to Do...About Your Child's Moods and Emotions
I'll never forget the first time my oldest son, then about six, screwed up his face, already contorted in anger because I wouldn't buy him a new action figure, and spat out the words, "I hate you, Mom."
I felt the mixture of emotions most parents do. Part of me was tempted to laugh because I knew he didn't mean it -- he was parroting something he'd heard from his friends. But another part of me was crying and upset. How could my son, whom I loved so dearly, say he despised me? At the same time, I recognized how brave it was. There he was, a little pipsqueak, standing up to his powerful mom. Announcing that he hated me was his way of serving me notice that he was separate enough to fight on a more grown-up level and felt secure enough to show me the full force of his fury, in a way I never could as a child.
"I hate you!" is just the first of many personal zingers our kids throw when they're angry with us. As they grow from ages five to thirteen, most of us hear any number of them, such as: "You always say no!" "Dad (or Mom) is nicer than you are!" "You're so unfair!" "You're such a hypocrite." It's worth remembering that one way kids and especially adolescents develop is by arguing and defying us, sometimes using withering scorn.
Don't Overreact
Though it's very hard not to boil over at moments like these, the best way to weather our children's expressions of hatred and anger toward us is to take a deep breath or two or even three, and not allow ourselves to get drawn into an on-the-spot protracted argument. Focus on the emotions, not the words, and stay calm.
"I know that you're very angry at me," I told my son. "We'll talk about it, but not right now. Let's wait until you're calmer."
It's important that kids hear you acknowledge their underlying feelings without trying to contradict or deny them, experts advise. To say, "You don't really hate me" or "I'm not being unfair" flies in the face of their own perceptions and feelings at that moment. At the same time, we do our kids a favor by helping them realize that erupting angrily and personally during an argument isn't appropriate.
Air Grievances
The timing of follow-up discussions is also important. You don't want to wait too long! Try to gauge how long it takes for your child -- and you -- to return to some kind of emotional equilibrium. "I know I can approach my son after a blowup when I hear him humming in his room," observes Sheila, eight-year-old Jonah's mom. "If he's still angry, he's conspicuously silent."
Once you sit down to talk, forget personal feelings and think of the discussion as a fact-finding mission. "I focus on asking questions and listening," says Lila, mother of eleven-year-old Marta. "I want to get her talking about what's bothering her, what I did that made her so angry. I have to work extra hard at not being defensive when she accuses me of purposely trying to ruin her life by not letting her go to the mall, though she knew she shouldn't go -- she had a test the next day. But I just nod. From her perspective, it was my fault. I can explain my view at a later time."
Lila has also learned that if she interrupts her daughter during a gripe session, Marta, like most kids, ends up feeling frustrated all over again.
Ask for Their Ideas
Swing into action only after your child has aired the entire list of grievances, advises Lila. She asks, "What can we do to make sure we don't have this fight again?" By asking your child to come up with a specific solution, you're putting the ball in her court. Not only does she feel you value her opinion, but she has the challenge of coming up with something that will make her feel better.
Remember, too, that our kids' gripes are sometimes justified. Parents do promise to buy something and then renege, impose unrealistic expectations, or blame the kids for something they didn't do.
Usually our children's requests for a change prove easy to comply with. Evelyn's seven-year-old son complained that he hated it when she talked on the phone after dinner because he wanted her to be available for help when he did his homework. She realized she could make her calls later and rearranged her schedule to accommodate his wishes.
End With Love
It's also comforting for kids to hear that we all have feelings of intense anger, even hatred, but that these are natural and don't last long. "Even when I'm angry at you I still love you," I told my sons when they were little, and they still repeat this back to me after our fights. I see that they feel reassured. Violent emotions leave everyone feeling tempest-tossed, and kids of all ages need to be reminded that once the storm abates, they'll find themselves in a harbor where they are safe and loved.
Learn how to keep calm during conflicts with your children.
By Roberta Israeloff, from What to Do...About Your Child's Moods and Emotions
I'll never forget the first time my oldest son, then about six, screwed up his face, already contorted in anger because I wouldn't buy him a new action figure, and spat out the words, "I hate you, Mom."
I felt the mixture of emotions most parents do. Part of me was tempted to laugh because I knew he didn't mean it -- he was parroting something he'd heard from his friends. But another part of me was crying and upset. How could my son, whom I loved so dearly, say he despised me? At the same time, I recognized how brave it was. There he was, a little pipsqueak, standing up to his powerful mom. Announcing that he hated me was his way of serving me notice that he was separate enough to fight on a more grown-up level and felt secure enough to show me the full force of his fury, in a way I never could as a child.
"I hate you!" is just the first of many personal zingers our kids throw when they're angry with us. As they grow from ages five to thirteen, most of us hear any number of them, such as: "You always say no!" "Dad (or Mom) is nicer than you are!" "You're so unfair!" "You're such a hypocrite." It's worth remembering that one way kids and especially adolescents develop is by arguing and defying us, sometimes using withering scorn.
Don't Overreact
Though it's very hard not to boil over at moments like these, the best way to weather our children's expressions of hatred and anger toward us is to take a deep breath or two or even three, and not allow ourselves to get drawn into an on-the-spot protracted argument. Focus on the emotions, not the words, and stay calm.
"I know that you're very angry at me," I told my son. "We'll talk about it, but not right now. Let's wait until you're calmer."
It's important that kids hear you acknowledge their underlying feelings without trying to contradict or deny them, experts advise. To say, "You don't really hate me" or "I'm not being unfair" flies in the face of their own perceptions and feelings at that moment. At the same time, we do our kids a favor by helping them realize that erupting angrily and personally during an argument isn't appropriate.
Air Grievances
The timing of follow-up discussions is also important. You don't want to wait too long! Try to gauge how long it takes for your child -- and you -- to return to some kind of emotional equilibrium. "I know I can approach my son after a blowup when I hear him humming in his room," observes Sheila, eight-year-old Jonah's mom. "If he's still angry, he's conspicuously silent."
Once you sit down to talk, forget personal feelings and think of the discussion as a fact-finding mission. "I focus on asking questions and listening," says Lila, mother of eleven-year-old Marta. "I want to get her talking about what's bothering her, what I did that made her so angry. I have to work extra hard at not being defensive when she accuses me of purposely trying to ruin her life by not letting her go to the mall, though she knew she shouldn't go -- she had a test the next day. But I just nod. From her perspective, it was my fault. I can explain my view at a later time."
Lila has also learned that if she interrupts her daughter during a gripe session, Marta, like most kids, ends up feeling frustrated all over again.
Ask for Their Ideas
Swing into action only after your child has aired the entire list of grievances, advises Lila. She asks, "What can we do to make sure we don't have this fight again?" By asking your child to come up with a specific solution, you're putting the ball in her court. Not only does she feel you value her opinion, but she has the challenge of coming up with something that will make her feel better.
Remember, too, that our kids' gripes are sometimes justified. Parents do promise to buy something and then renege, impose unrealistic expectations, or blame the kids for something they didn't do.
Usually our children's requests for a change prove easy to comply with. Evelyn's seven-year-old son complained that he hated it when she talked on the phone after dinner because he wanted her to be available for help when he did his homework. She realized she could make her calls later and rearranged her schedule to accommodate his wishes.
End With Love
It's also comforting for kids to hear that we all have feelings of intense anger, even hatred, but that these are natural and don't last long. "Even when I'm angry at you I still love you," I told my sons when they were little, and they still repeat this back to me after our fights. I see that they feel reassured. Violent emotions leave everyone feeling tempest-tossed, and kids of all ages need to be reminded that once the storm abates, they'll find themselves in a harbor where they are safe and loved.
Don't hit the snooze button!
Whats the first thing you do every morning...smack the snooze button? Well you may want to reconsider and just get your tookus outta bed. STOP hitting the snooze button on your alarm clock!
Experts say your body needs a full 90 minutes to finish a whole sleep cycle, so those 9 minute sleep fragments are doing nothing for your body. In fact, an hour of drifting in and out of sleep does less for your body than just 15 minutes of steady rest. Be perkier; more awake!
Experts say your body needs a full 90 minutes to finish a whole sleep cycle, so those 9 minute sleep fragments are doing nothing for your body. In fact, an hour of drifting in and out of sleep does less for your body than just 15 minutes of steady rest. Be perkier; more awake!
A calmer commute
Stop and go, bumper to bumper, an accident has the road all backed up or simply the always present ladder in the road.
Does your morning commute have you getting to the office already stressed out? Here's how to have a calmer commute- on metro rail or a bus, for example. A new study indicated that passengers who keep themselves busy with a puzzle or a book feel less aggravated than those who rely on others for entertainment, possibly because engaging yourself distracts you from commuting frustrations.Work on that sodoku! You'll be the smartest person in the room, and also the calmest.
Does your morning commute have you getting to the office already stressed out? Here's how to have a calmer commute- on metro rail or a bus, for example. A new study indicated that passengers who keep themselves busy with a puzzle or a book feel less aggravated than those who rely on others for entertainment, possibly because engaging yourself distracts you from commuting frustrations.Work on that sodoku! You'll be the smartest person in the room, and also the calmest.
Black and Blue? When to see a doctor.
Bruises are common in children, and most heal on their own.
Some bruises, however, may require examination by a doctor. These symptoms should be evaluated by a physician: Bruising often or easily, without a known injury or cause. Significant or increased pain or swelling around a bruise. Inability to move a limb or a joint. Injury or bruising to an eye. Signs that a bone may be broken.
Always check with your doctor.
Some bruises, however, may require examination by a doctor. These symptoms should be evaluated by a physician: Bruising often or easily, without a known injury or cause. Significant or increased pain or swelling around a bruise. Inability to move a limb or a joint. Injury or bruising to an eye. Signs that a bone may be broken.
Always check with your doctor.
A site for teen girls
A place for your teen girl to surf:
A website for junior and senior high school girls offering a variety of interesting sections, including book reviews by girls, technology info, fashion, sports, food, news events of interest to girls, and more. A large "downtown" area contains mostly advertisements, but much of the rest of the site offers interesting content. Check it out at girlzone.com.
A website for junior and senior high school girls offering a variety of interesting sections, including book reviews by girls, technology info, fashion, sports, food, news events of interest to girls, and more. A large "downtown" area contains mostly advertisements, but much of the rest of the site offers interesting content. Check it out at girlzone.com.
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