Thank you notes from kids

Child Behavior: Writing Thank-You Notes
From Robin McClure,
Your Guide to Child Care.

Thank Yous Can Come In Simple Ways
It's an indisputable fact that kids hate writing thank-you notes as much as they love opening presents. Parental prodding to write a simple note of gratitude, however, may be needed to help teach kids the important social manner of expressing gratitude. Because if parents don't require a note, then most certainly a child is not going to initiate a thank you note on his or her own.

What should parents do to help teach kids good manners and the proper show of appreciation after a gift is received? Here are some tips to make giving thanks a positive and heartfelt experience.


Discuss with children why a thank-you note is considered important. In the very young, discuss with them that a loved one spent time selecting the special present, purchased it with their own money, wrapped it, and then delivered it--either in person or via mail. Ask them how they would know if someone liked a present they picked out and why a note is especially appreciated. Don't just assume that children will value the experience or gesture of note: educate them as to a note's importance and how it lets a gift-giver know a present has been received and is appreciated.


Provide children with age-appropriate notecards or paper and help them with the message. For very young children who do not yet write, a crayon picture of the child's choosing created with the gift-giver in mind can be mailed along with a note by a parent saying something like, "Cindi created this for you in appreciation of her gift of a new doll for her birthday." Budding writers can be given the thank-you cards that only require a child to fill in certain blanks. While not as personal, this format encourages a youngster to write a note that may only include the salutation, the gift received, and name, but it's a great first start! Older kids should write thank-you notes on their own.


For kids who can write, what should notes say? While creativity is appreciated, not all kids can put that type of thought on paper and the worst thing would be for the thank you note to sound as if it were coming from you! Kids should be encouraged to tell a gift-giver thanks for the gift mentioned specifically but to also explain how or why the gift is especially appreciated. For example, if the child received a CD and a song on it is selected for use by the kid to perform a dance to at the school talent show, then include that in the note!


And if the gift is a real loser? All gifts should be acknowledged--even those that aren't exactly appreciated. A child should be taught that it is truly the thought that counts, and even if a 12-year-old is embarrassed to open the young kiddie game Candyland, a thank you is in order. Explain to the child that the game was still purchased in honor of their birthday, special occasion, or for the holidays. And, a younger sibling or a charity will truly love receiving the game!


Are thank you notes always required? This is a time where you should let your conscience be your guide sprinkled in with family custom or the expected practice. If a child thanks someone in person when opening a gift, a thank-you note is not necessarily required, especially when it is from a member of the family. But, they will absolutely be delighted to receive a note just the same. Gift exchanges do not typically require thank you notes or small token gifts given to groups. One mom requires all her kids to write a thank-you note to Santa, and explains that he won't come next year unless proper respect and appreciation is shown for the gifts left the current year. Her kids take advantage of the down-time on Christmas afternoon and write them that day.


It's about time! Yes, timeliness is always important when writing a thank-you note. Some parents have adopted practices that a toy can not be played with or clothes worn until a thank-you note is written. Others require notes to be written within a select number of days. Don't let days turn into weeks and then the note forgotten in the midst of a child's busy schedule.


Think of the educational value of writing notes. Some teachers and child care providers have children write notes in conjunction with a writing lesson. After all, what better way to practice on letters or writing sentences than with a short and personal note to a loved one? Some ideas from teachers include writing a thank you note to parents to express appreciation for their support during the school year, or to thank them for bringing snacks or treats to a special class party. One provider has her pre-schoolers write thank you notes each Valentine's Day to their parents for their love. A first grade teacher has children write notes of thanks each Thanksgiving.


Lead by example. Let children see you writing thank-you notes and hear or read what you have written. What better way to teach good manners than by modeling the expected behavior. Um, you do write ones yourself, right?