|
HOW TO TELL IF HE'S A PLAYER (MSN.com)
He's bold. He doesn't approach women with the same nerves or awkwardness of a normal guy. He'll walk up confidently, with a big smile and great eye contact. This doesn't mean you should look for the opposite -- a stuttering wreck -- but be wary of a guy who acts completely bulletproof.
He declares his feelings right away. Players employ a "fast come-on," making sweeping statements of affection from the word go. These declarations can feel very welcome, especially if you've been in a string of relationships that lacked such intimacy. Just remember that true closeness takes time, and it's normal for a guy to be more guarded about his emotions.
He always plans romantic dates. Dating for the player is kind of a performance art. And he's going to be good at it. Nice guys can be romantic, too, but life with them won't always feel like a John Cusack movie.
He has lots of acquaintances, no close friends. The player tends to be a lone wolf. That doesn't mean he lacks for drinking buddies. The same way he charms women, he can charm lots of people in his life. The key is that, in friendship as in romance, his affections run broad but not deep.
He's a thrill seeker. A guy who spends his spare time looking for a rush -- fast driving, bungee jumping, kite-boarding, heli-skiing -- should give you pause. This type craves the high that comes from conquering a difficult challenge, and that goes for his relationship goals as well. Once he's "conquered" you, your allure may quickly fade.
...AND FIVE SIGNS HE'S JUST A NICE, UPSTANDING GUY
He's goofy. The sincere suitor is not suave. He doesn't always say the right thing. It may sound weird to go into a date hoping for a pratfall, but it's not a bad thing.
He remembers personal details and events. It's the most basic way to show someone you care -- by learning about his or her life and interests. Players can't be bothered with this. Trifling as it sounds, if a guy remembers to bring over your favorite ice cream or shows up at your pal's birthday party, he might just be a keeper.
He treats his mama right. Generally speaking, a loving family begets a loving person, and the opposite is also true. The wounded outcast who is betrayed by his parents makes a hot lead in a soap opera, but not the best boyfriend. Try the good-hearted guy who flies home for his mom's birthday instead.
He can mingle. The sincere guy doesn't mind being in a room with people who are more accomplished than he is. Conversely, the player wants to be in situations that will glorify only himself, especially around his woman. He doesn't want to listen to another man's interesting story. A loving guy, on the other hand, can mix with others even when he's not the star of the show, and actually enjoys learning things from them.
He says, "I love you." As fawning as a player's affections are, there's still something sacred about the L-bomb. A guy who says those three magic words may very well mean them.
